Mindfuck Bdsm
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Mindfuck Bdsm
Sex toy reviewer, kink educator, and weirdo who is constantly staging pretty photos for sex toys.
Mistress Kay - May 27, 2022 0
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Sex toy reviewer, kink educator, and weirdo who is constantly staging pretty photos for sex toys.
Mindfucks are really defined as putting an extreme idea into a subbie’s head then doing something that’s much, much more safe to them, but they still think it’s the extreme idea. It’s a form of fear play and the adrealine that can course through the body really can bring your play to a whole new level.
Safety Issues
The mind is a very powerful tool when it comes to BDSM. The trust that you receive from someone submitting to you is also just as powerful. Please remember that BDSM is not something to be abused especially not when it comes to this.
Mindfucks are VERY dangerous to do with a partner you’re not familiar with. You should have been regularly playing with this partner for months before you attempt it. Trust is a very, very valuable thing and to scare a newbie who doesn’t trust you may permanantly scar them from getting back into BDSM and may give you a bad name as well. Since fear doesn’t come into play unless you’re doing something very dramatic, you don’t want to make sure that your bottom is comfortable with play you’ve done in the past and does trust you. Remember that even if you’re a slight bit worried – don’t do it. A scene could turn violent if she/he thinks you’re serious.
Different Uses
Since there’s really no one, uniform use with mindfucks, I’ll give you a couple of examples that I’ve heard of in the past.
One use I’ve heard of is that, while a subbie was tied up bent over a spanking horse, a well-known sadistic Dominant started joking around with another Dominant about whether he had that powerdrill in the back of his car. Turns out he did. They blindfolded the submissive and plugged in the drill and gave it a couple boosts of power so she could hear it. She starts freaking out because, well, it’s a power drill. At this point, they did stop and finish the scene, but if you wanted to do something like this, I know they do hand-held fucking machines that you could easily pass off as a powerdrill and then actually use it. You would place a power drill within your subbie’s sight when he/she comes over for the scene. While they’re blindfolded and tied up, tell them you want to do something new. Then pull out the fucking machine and let them hear it. They’ll freak.
Another is out of an example from the movie Hard Candy. It’s actually possible to clamp off the testicles and ice them down to a point where the male will not be able to feel them anymore. Then you tell him you’re going to castrate him. Make it elaborate with the knives and medical tools. When you say you’re “done”, you pull off the clamps and the warm blood will come rushing back, making him feel like he’s bleeding. I do NOT recommend this to beginners (I’ve never attempted it myself) because the clamps and cold are very hard-to-control-variables. You could honestly end up killing the cells in his testicles, and that’s really not all that sexy. However, for a man that has a castration fetish, I’d recommend looking into this.
A fun one that you can try at home is this one: Leave a butcher knife in plain sight of your subbie during the scene. Midway during the scene, tell the subbie you want to blindfold him/her then go back to playing. After awhile, tell them you found a new toy in the kitchen today, but instead of picking up the butcher knife, grab a plain old butterknife. They will just feel the cold steel and won’t know the difference. Use the non-slotted side of the butter knife, though, just for safety’s sake. A butter knife at the throat will get the most resilient’s subbie’s heartbeat pounding. It’s safe to do at home because it’s just a butter knife. You really can’t hurt. DON’T use the butcher knife, though.
I heard of a Dominant who had a submissive that really wanted to be branded. Since he knew she wasn’t thinking straight, he agreed to it. He had her bent over something and tied down, and he brought out a branding iron. He set about messing around with the fireplace. (She was blindfolded.) What she couldn’t see was that instead of putting the brand in the fire, he just placed it in a bucket of ice cubes. With a lot of build-up vocally, he finally pressed the ice brand onto her. She screamed like it was fire, but the ice itself wouldn’t leave marks. Maybe a bit of freeze for a bit, but nothing dangerous. After that experience, she realized she really didn’t want to be branded.
Those are all of the examples I have, but I do have tips for those of you who would like to do it:
1) HAVE YOUR PARTNER’S TRUST! I seriously can not stress that enough. If they really think you’d go through with some of this, then you may be looking at a lawsuit.
2) Vocals are key. Talk to the person. Tell them how the blade feels. Let them know that you’re fanning the fire. Describe what the blade looks like. Most bottoms love details and this is no different. Unless you over-do it, talking can make the submissive’s brain think it’s really happening.
3) Take anything you think would be fun and just brainstorm safer ways to manage to do it. Never do the real thing if its dangerous.
4) Blindfolds and restraints make the experience better. When they don’t have control of their senses, their minds depend more on the Dominant.
Remember that safety is ALWAYS key, and have fun with what you do. :)
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A major component in a married D/s-M relationship is the mind fuck aspect. I have yet to write a post regarding mind fuck itself; there can be many different expressions regarding mind fuck. I am merely going to grace the surface of a D/s mind fuck in this post.
I have been on the road for five days now and will be flying home tomorrow for another short three day turn. As you can imagine, My Little Kaninchen will be excited to see me.
I am going to send my LK one of my letters tonight inviting her to a scene with me on Friday morning. I have written a little regarding these letters in previous posts, they give instructions and my expectations of her for the morning of our scene. Little Kaninchen never knows when I am going to write one of these letters and when I am going to actually conduct a scene. I can only imagine her absolute excitement when she receives my invitation tonight.
I began Friday’s scene yesterday and LK doesnt even realize it.
I will sometimes give my LK a chore to complete with a time limit attached. Since LK isn’t a service submissive when I say “chore” I mean that she has a time limit to accomplish something sexual.
Whenever I give her a time limit to accomplish one of these chores for me, the time constraint is often completely unrealistic, I may not want her to reach her goal. This is a powerful mind fuck whether you are standing over top of her and about to take her or you are a thousand miles away, which I happen to be tonight. The submissive’s mind is completely focused on the goal, her pleasure that you have been denying her and that she desperately desires. She will be working so hard to accomplish her goal that she will not even realize how unrealistic the situation really is.
I know that LK was particularly worked up last night from both my long absence and the book that she is reading for her book club.
A little past noon I sent LK a text that said…
You may use your wand for 2 minutes to help get the plug in…”
A few minutes later I was pleased when I received a POV picture from behind as per my request.
Two minutes after that I received a picture of the toys mentioned and her G-Spot vibrator, with her glistening juices all over it, placed neatly on a towel and this comment accompanying the picture;
I couldn’t believe it… What was this? The intention of the two minute limitation was to build a desire, a substantial desire within her. I wanted to create a craving so intense that she wouldn’t sleep for the two days until I got home, instead she knocked the edge off.
My intention was to begin to create the need to be reset within her. I am sure that she is on the edge of spiraling already and needing to be reset, I was going to push her closer to the edge. This would have intensified Friday’s scene as she began to unravel in front of me. Ironically, LK just wrote a post yesterday, “Coming Undone” , that post explains the spiral that I mention pretty well.
Little Kaninchen most likely believes that yesterday was just some random activity meant to entertain myself but when I give specific instructions to perform a function like this there is always a premeditated objective.
Three days prior to our scene I began the ground work to create an insatiable hunger within her. Unfortunately for me, she realized that deeply needed release that she so badly yearned for. Now with just two days until our scene I am going to change my tactic from having her on the edge to creating a submissive mindset.
In my letter tonight LK is going to be instructed to review the original text of my request. I only gave her permission to use her small plug and her wand for two minutes. The instructions stated that the wand was to be used to help her get the plug in, not to take one of my O’s. Little Kaninchen used her medium sized plug, the wand and her g-spot vibrator. I am going to ask her if she was following my instructions to please me or if she was using this opportunity to please herself, as she so eagerly needed the release.
Little Kaninchen is not permitted to touch herself or to take one of my O’s without permission.
She will be punished for taking my O without permission and for using the G-spot vibrator for her own pleasure without my permission.
The realization of disappointing me due to the greediness of her own pleasure will also put her in the mindset of pleasing me, a submissive mindset.
I am not punishing her to create the submissive mindset. The punishment that she will receive is for her non-compliance of my rules. Since she is already going to have a submissive mindset I may as well capitalize on the opportunity and create a deeper submissive mindset. You will see how I plan on doing this in my next post.
We have the honor of having Marshall on our show today to talk about rope bondage. And to give us some pointers on where to get started in this art. We discussed things such as the different types of rope available, different diameters, and lengths of rope as well. Marshall will tell us what he prefers and why. He will also give us some starting points on putting together our first rope bondage kit, including some reputable places to purchase your rope.
Join me today as I talk with Marshall Bradford about rope bondage.
I’m going to talk about 5 Behaviors that Can Sabotage your Relationship. Sure, there are probably many more behaviors than just five, right that have serious negative effects on your D/s-M relationship. But for today, I have narrowed it down to just five, I feel that the five negative behaviors that I’m going to discuss during this episode are quite common. It will be a productive conversation. Some of you will be able to directly relate to some of the discussion today and recognize areas that you may be able to level up in. And some of you may recognize some of the points and other relationships that you currently have. They could be within your family dynamic among friends, peers, colleagues, you name it. Join me today as I discuss the five behaviors that can sabotage your relationships. Relationships are challenging, right
Powerful relationships don’t just happen by chance. And the couples living them dont take them for granted. They are fully present, all of the time, and they have learned the skills that are required to succeed in a relationship. When you see a married couple that has a healthy meaningful relationship, the odds are if their happiness is authentic, that they will have many other powerful relationships in their lives as well. It is almost as if they have cracked the code on relationship skills.
Work smarter, not harder, and you’re married dominance and submission relationship. The phrase work smarter, not harder. I’m sure we’ve all heard this before in our lifetime, it’s nothing new. What does it really mean? And how can we apply it to our everyday lives. I broken this topic down into three easy steps or guidelines.
A Dominant’s Guide to Talking Dirty Regardless of the type of relationship that you may be in, talking dirty to your lover during sex…
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To say this is deep is an understatement. It implies a strong opening of your sub to Sir. It also says that Sir listens and watches closely for what sets the sub mind off into a desirable state.
How do you find these triggers out?
“It also says that Sir listens and watches closely for what sets the sub mind off into a desirable state.”
You are correct that the Dominant is always required to monitor his submissive’s mindset and have a solid understanding of where her head is at.
To be honest these “triggers” are identified and understood with time and experience. You will begin to recognize situations such as spiraling and lack of submissive mindset as you continue along your journey.
The most important lesson in this post to a new Dominant would be that the Dominant needs to realize that it is his responsibility, and only his, to maintain a healthy D/s atmosphere for himself and his submissive. If his submissive’s behavior is unsatisfactory, he should be looking at his own leadership for the answers. What should he be doing or not doing?
Often times the submissive maintains her own submissive mindset to get the D/s relationship off the ground. Once airborne the submissive should pull back and the Dominant needs to take over. No matter what is happening, whether it be spiraling or brattiess, it is caused by the actions of the leader. He must recognize it and correct it.
I agree with that 100%. Ultimately the onus is on the Dominant to assure his sub is given the tools, instructions and support required for a healthy D/s. If she fails we both fail and ultimately that responsibility lies squarely on the Dominant ‘s shoulders
It is so hot and so amazing how you plan out every detail of your D/s. Enviable. As I’ve often said, LK is so lucky to have you, and you are lucky to have her.
That said, this is part of the confusion for me (and especially DH) for how to make this work: We subs like “punishment” and want it however we can get it. On one hand, we want to submit and please our Doms/husbands… but on the other hand, we know what we want, what we like, and it is pleasure that also involves pain, and to be thoroughly dominated by our man. So when LK doesn’t follow your orders to the letter, isn’t this part of the game? Is she effectively “setting up” a scene that will now involve punishment for her changing the nature of your orders?
And, I realize I probably shouldn’t be reading this post… it was not intended for sub eyes, I’m sure. Curiosity killed the cat… or at least whipped the pussy. 🙂 Sometimes I think I need BOTH a Dom AND a husband, and that they can’t be the same person.
I mean no disrespect in my questions, because as you know I have great admiration for the way you both make this dynamic work for you, and want to learn it. But sometimes this is where it gets hard for me to express to my DH what this D/s looks like, what exactly planning for a scene is, and where that line is between punishment for real misdeeds (as you mentioned, you could give tasks that are undo-able, so you’re setting up “failure” and almost a false or unfair consequence) and giving pain for pleasure?
“We subs like “punishment” and want it however we can get it.”
“So when LK doesn’t follow your orders to the letter, isn’t this part of the game? Is she effectively “setting up” a scene that will now involve punishment for her changing the nature of your orders?”
I understand where the confusion regarding punishment and pain come from but trust me, or ask LK, there is a huge difference. There will be a post regarding discipline and punishment through the eyes of a dominant soon. Punishment should not be something that is enjoyable to the submissive. Your submissive will only enjoy the pain that you inflict if it is given correctly and made pleasurable. You must properly warm her up and create an atmosphere to where the pain is pleasurable. Without proper warm up it is nothing more than just pain, no matter how you look at it or who you are.
Little Kaninchen received ten strokes with the “M%th8r F&ck^r” without any warm up. The tears running down her cheeks would indicate that she received no pleasure from this pain. If you were to ask her I am positive that she would tell you that she was not “setting up” a scene and that she would not like to experience another punishment any time soon.
“And, I realize I probably shouldn’t be reading this post… it was not intended for sub eyes”
I am honored that you continue to read my posts.
“as you mentioned, you could give tasks that are undo-able, so you’re setting up “failure” and almost a false or unfair consequence”
When I give my LK a task that she most likely can not achieve I do not do this in order to punish her. These sexually oriented tasks that I assign LK are tasks such as allowing her 60 seconds
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