Mind Blowing Sex

Mind Blowing Sex
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Here are three surefire ways to sex up your sex life. (All Chatelaine tested and approved!)

Jenna Wallace

Updated August 28, 2013

“Sex is the glue that keeps couples together,” says Trina Read, a Calgary-based relationship and sexual health expert. “Research shows that when two people have a good sex life, it can boost their relationship happiness by 15 percent. But when they don’t, happiness levels go down by up to 50 percent.”
1. Think like a man
Put your sexual needs first. It’s the single best way to improve your sex life. That means unapologetically saying (not asking for) what you want. It’s different for all of us, but this could mean telling him, “Kiss my neck before you go for the mouth,” “Massage my shoulders first to loosen me up, then gently work your way to my chest,” or “I need you to slow down.” Women who aren’t afraid to make it all about them are women who really enjoy sex, says Read. Bonus: Men find this hot too!
2. Lube up
All sex is better with lube (take a look at our favourite lubes here ), says Read. And a little goes a long way. Experts say silicone-based options last longer and are less sticky (read messy) than water-based ones. Steer clear of any that include the preservative propylene glycol in the ingredient list; it can be irritating.
Expert tip: Once you’re all lubed up, get in the right position. Read says that usually means you on top. Then wiggle around until you find an angle that achieves clitoral stimulation. If it feels like too much work to be on top, putting a pillow under your hips can lead to greater satisfaction in the man-on-top missionary position.
3. Play doctor
Read suggests thinking like a sexologist. Approach sex with the excitement and curiosity of a scholar eager for learning. “For example, if you want to understand how to give better oral sex, bring along a how-to book, head down there and start asking questions,” says Read. “This mentality changes the bedroom dynamic from feeling forced to being fun.” Not surprisingly, all this positive couple attention can boost your relationship. Sounds win-win. And the more you do it, the better it gets!
Expert tip: The We-Vibe ($95, we-vibe.com ) is the most couple-friendly, least intimidating vibrator on the market. Created by an Ottawa-based couple, it is currently the bestselling gadget in this fast-growing category.
What fun tips do you and your partner use to keep sex interesting? Tell us in the comment section below.
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We all love a good orgasm . But when it comes to partnered sex — particularly intercourse — there’s a real split in who is most consistently getting them via their partner (though toys are always a great teammate and not competition in this regard!).
Don’t believe all the hype from movies, porn and TV — orgasms for folks with vulvas aren’t an easy get through penetration alone, nor or they so elusive and complicated that they aren’t worth trying for. In reality, only about 57 percent of us are climaxing every time we have sex, and that’s usually when a form of stimulation other than penetration is involved. In fact, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy in 2017, 37 percent of American women required clitoral stimulation to experience an orgasm, and 18 percent (!) of women said they were able to come on vaginal penetration alone.
The bottom line: Most women aren’t having effortless, screaming orgasms every time we hook up and the same old sex positions aren’t really cutting it for closing the orgasm gap. If you and your partner haven’t yet cracked the code to your orgasm together , don’t fear — with experimentation and communication you can absolutely get there.
And, of course, orgasm is not the point of sex — but that doesn’t mean we should give up trying to have the best, most mind-blowing sex possible. We just need to get a little creative with our positions and technique to ensure that the right parts are getting stimulation at the right time (and for the right amount of time).
Try these exciting, clitoris-loving sex positions that can help make the situation ideal for mind-blowing orgasms (and thank us later).
“With the woman on her back and her hips on the edge of the bed, the man penetrates her while standing,” says Dr. Madeleine M. Castellanos , a psychiatrist who specializes in sex therapy. “She then puts her legs over his shoulders and tilts her hips slightly upward. This gives a wonderful angle for cervical stimulation, with deep penetration that can produce some intense vaginal and uterine orgasms. With more shallow penetration, a man can stimulate the anterior vaginal wall to hit the G-spot.”
“A couple starts off in missionary position ,” says Dr. Castellanos. “Once a man penetrates a woman deeply, he allows her to bring her legs together between his. He then shifts his weight slightly forward so that the shaft of his erection is producing firm pressure and friction on her clitoris as he moves. This works very well for women that prefer to have clitoral stimulation during penetration to reach a very powerful orgasm.”
“This is my favorite. It’s when the woman is lying on her back on the counter or table while he enters standing. It’s rough,” says Margaret Wagner, sex expert and founder of the now-closed Bedroom Matters. “There’s pushing aside of papers, pepper shakers, which add to the sense of urgency and inappropriateness. It’s easy to maneuver and move the woman to slide along the counter. There is still contact. He goes deep and feels in control. It works all the way around. The keys are clothing, stuff in the way and being in an open space. Still allows for connection while feeling dirty. It just works on so many levels. It’s not about acrobats. It’s about context.”
“This position allows the woman to have the control in order to determine the depth and angle of penetration as well as how much clitoral stimulation she gets,” says Dr. Castellanos. “With the man lying flat on his back and his knees bent, she straddles him with one leg to the side of his hip and the other leg between his legs. The woman can then find just the right spot to grind against his pubic bone with him inside her. She controls the pace, the depth and the amount of pressure and friction she receives. This is definitely a prescription for mind-blowing sex!”
“I’m no [pro], but whenever I’ve had sex standing up and holding my partner in the air or up against the wall, it’s been mind-blowing for both of us,” says Jim, an experienced heterosexual male. “I suspect it taps into some of our innate gender differences — the strong man and the small woman — which, in turn, heightens the sexual experience. It also forces us to be in a full embrace, which furthers the emotional connection as well as our physical one. It’s physically demanding and not for all couples, but for those that can, it’s highly recommended.”
“Given a woman’s clitoris is buried under the clitoral hood and cushiony mons pubis surrounding it, it’s no wonder this tiny nub rarely receives enough stimulation during intercourse to catch the ‘O’ train,” says Jaiya. “Your hands, though, can help change that. Form a ‘V’ with your index and middle fingers, and point your fingers toward your feet. Press this ‘V’ onto the mons pubis, with a finger to each side of the clitoris. Then pull up, moving the skin with your hand. This should unveil the hard-to-reach clit in all its glory, exposing this little love button to a lot more action.”
“If your guy enjoys having his back door explored, reach around with both hands, and grab both cheeks,” says Jaiya. “From there, you can do ‘butt yoga’ (a technique whereby you spread the cheeks apart, then together, one up one down, then vice versa) or ‘anal yoga’ (a technique whereby you place your middle fingers to the sides of the anus, then spread them apart, then diagonally, then up and down). If that gets him hankering for more, feel free to delve deeper.”
“Heating up hot spots aren’t your hands-only talents,” says Jaiya. “They’re also great at moving body parts where you want them, and this technique is a prime opportunity. During intercourse, raise your legs, then have your man hold an ankle in each hand. From there, you can spread her legs apart, hold them together, part them at 80 degrees — the options are endless. And since the tendons of the legs pivot deep in the pelvic cavity, moving them around will subtly alter the below-the-belt sensations for you both. Talk about getting a leg up on a little variety!”
A version of this article was originally published in February 2010.
Before you go, read up on the 69 sex positions we have on our bucket list:
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A man given up for adoption has left the internet in shock after detailing his “incredible” sex life after falling in love with his biological mother.
A jaw-dropping story about a man describing the “mind-blowing sex” he has with his biological mother has left the internet in shock.
Ben Ford, 32, was originally adopted at birth after his mum Kim West, 51, gave him up – but 30 years later the pair were reunited when Ben sent his mother a letter.
But after meeting up at a hotel and after sharing a bottle of champagne, the pair shared their first illicit kiss.
Before long the couple’s fondness for each other developed into incestual lust and the mother and son began having sex.
Eventually Ben was forced to confess his affair to wife, Victoria, revealing in excruciating detail the “incredible and mind-blowing” sex he was having with his own mother.
Their story made headlines around the world when the pair went public with their romance in 2016, revealing they’d been “forced into hiding” as their sexual relationship was illegal in the US state of Michigan where they lived.
Local laws meant they could both face up to 15 years in prison and be placed on a Sex Register for life, though Ben and Kim argued their bizarre relationship was the result of Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA).
While the story first emerged six years ago after Ben and Kim appeared on the font cover of a British newspaper, interest in the story has piqued again after it was republished by The Sun recently.
Shocked social media users have weighed in on the “disgusting” relationship and are asking what happened to the pair.
“This is disgusting makes me feel sick,” one wrote on Facebook.
“Just absolutely so disgusting!! 7.9 billion people in this world and you chose your own son? It’s not OK, it will never be OK. Incest is not OK,” another said.
“She’s the mother, she should know better. He just wants a mum,” one woman argued.
Kim, who worked as an interior designer, addressed claims their romance was “disgusting” back in their 2016 interview with The New Day.
“This is not incest, it is GSA. We are like peas in a pod and are meant to be together,” she said.
“I know people will say we’re disgusting, that we should be able to control our feelings, but when you’re hit by a love so consuming you are willing to give up everything for it, you have to fight for it.
“It’s a once in a lifetime chance and something Ben and I are not willing to walk away from.”
Ben also stood firm about his relationship with his biological mother, telling his wife at the time: “Every time I have had sex with you since I met her, I imagine it’s her I am kissing, otherwise I can’t perform.”
Victoria had reportedly “already grown suspicious” of the pair’s close bond and launched into a “hysterical rant” at discovering the truth.
Kim, who grew up in Islington London, fell pregnant while studying in California at the age of 19, The Sun reported.
She decided to give up the baby for adoption before heading back to the UK, eventually losing contact with the family.
But 30 years later the mother and son would be reunited when Ben sent her a letter – hoping to meet his biological mum.
Neither of them knew that their first meeting a year later would spark a disturbing affair that would tear his own family apart.
Kim says it was as if they had “known each other for years” and she began having sexual dreams about her own son.
Just three days after their first sexual encounter, Ben revealed the life-changing news to his wife.
Both Kim and Ben believe that GSA is the reason for their bizarre feelings.
GSA is a term used to describe an attraction between relatives who were not raised together but met as adults.
However, the phenomenon has been considered a pseudoscience by some experts who have tried to debunk it .
Ben, a computer coder, said: “When I met Kim, I couldn’t think of her as my mum but instead as a sexual being.
“I had seen a therapist at an adoption support group and had learnt about the GSA phenomenon.”
Back in 2016, the pair revealed they were planning to get married and were event considering having children, though recognised this may not be possible due to possible inbreeding issues.
Their location is currently unknown and it is unclear if the couple are still in a relationship.
A woman says her fiance is often mistaken for being her dad when they are out in public due to their large age gap.
The Australian grocery giant has responded to claims a popular item is “useless” and “dumb” – and many Aussies agree it’s a “godsend”.
A motivational message posted by seven-time world surfing champion Layne Beachley on her social media didn’t have the desired impact on everyone.

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