Millennials Declare Avocado Toast A Basic Human Right

In what international observers are calling the most important petition since the Paris Climate Agreement, millennials across the globe have demanded that avocado toast be legally recognized as a fundamental human right. The International Council on Overpriced Brunches released fabricated data suggesting that 87% of young adults would rather starve than live in a society where smashed avocado is unaffordable. In Brooklyn, activists chained themselves to cafe tables until their $16 toast orders were honored, chanting slogans like �No Justice, No Guac!� Meanwhile, economists warned that subsidizing avocado imports could destabilize entire nations, though protestors countered by holding signs reading �Housing Is Optional, Toast Is Forever.� As one organizer explained to reporters: �We may never own homes, but we will absolutely own this aesthetic breakfast.� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com