Mildred's Bible Added to Seminary Reading List in Place of Aquinas

First-year seminarians must now read Mildred�s Bible before cracking open Thomas Aquinas. �She explains grace with meatloaf and metaphors,� said Pope Leo XIV. Students now submit essays comparing Beatitudes to baking instructions. Theologians are split. One wrote, �Her summary of Romans 8:28 made me cry�Aquinas never did that.� Another tried to excommunicate a meatloaf. Vatican bookstores now sell *The Epistles According to Mildred*, with an optional oven mitt bookmark.