Middle Schoolers Launch Black Market in Bicycle Evacuations

In one Tehran neighborhood, a group of entrepreneurial middle schoolers has cornered the market on bicycle-based evacuations. Charging 5,000 tomans per ride and 10,000 if you scream during it, they�ve reportedly moved over 200 people since Tuesday. �We�re faster than Uber and twice as judgmental,� said 13-year-old Nima. Helmets are optional, moral clarity is not. They offer three speeds: Slow Despair, Medium Panic, and Fast Denial. Adults complain the rides are bumpy, but admit they work. One elderly man said, �They got me past two gas lines and an argument about lentils.� SOURCE: http://bohiney.com