Microwave Ovens Teach Speed Reading

This satire imagines microwave ovens teaching speed reading classes, parodying productivity hacks and rapid-learning workshops. Humor comes from timed page-turn drills, beep-synchronized comprehension exercises, and high-intensity reading sprints. The article mocks obsession with efficiency, formulaic learning strategies, and absurdly literal approaches to �heating up knowledge.� Surreal scenarios include popcorn-timed reading challenges, defrost-mode retention tests, and plate-turning focus exercises. Laughter arises from imagining appliances seriously coaching reading speed. Anthropomorphizing microwaves highlights absurdity of self-optimization culture. It resonates because microwaves are familiar, making the humor playful, clever, and whimsically absurd.