Mia K Gives The Girlfriend Experience

Mia K Gives The Girlfriend Experience




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Mia K Gives The Girlfriend Experience
October 14, 2021, 10:01 PM · 6 min read
Mia Khalifa. (Photo: Instagram @miakhalifa)
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When Mia Khalifa, 28, looks back at her younger self, she sees a woman who was struggling with confidence.
“I was looking to other people to put value on myself. I was looking for validation in every crevice that I could, without actually doing internal work,” Khalifa tells Yahoo Life.
At 21, Khalifa spent three months in the adult film industry — starring in 12 films that today have garnered more than a billion views on Pornhub. Her ascent in the industry was quick, and featured a controversial video in which she wore a hijab during a scene. Death threats from the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria followed, and Khalifa decided to exit the industry. She now refers to that period of her life as a “lapse in judgment” that was never meant to last.
“I was naive, vulnerable, and malleable. Very easily talked into things, especially if it was by a man,” she says.
Now Khalifa is speaking out about her experience in the adult film industry and the path that led her there. The influencer and content creator is vocal about the exploitation she experienced and hopes her story can shield other women from going through the same. “What I can take away from this is protecting other women and being a cautionary tale,” says Khalifa.
Born in Lebanon, Khalifa and her family moved to the United States in 2001. They settled in Montgomery County, Md., where Khalifa says she struggled with fitting in, especially after the terrorist attacks of 9/11.
“I tried so hard to be white for so long,” she says. “All of these little red flags that led to internalized racism, which I did not work through until I went into therapy at age 25. Growing up in an area like that was difficult for someone who was Middle Eastern. America's views on Middle Eastern people changed completely after 9/11.”
High school was tough for Khalifa, who lacked confidence and battled low self-esteem. “I was overweight and I didn't really have very many friends. I didn't look like everyone else who was around me and that led me into a relationship that I should not have entered. And those were the steps that led me to the adult industry.”
Khalifa made just $1,000 per scene, or $12,000 total, for the films she starred in. Today those videos have earned millions of dollars, but due to the contract she signed, Khalifa makes no money on the backend. She also has no ownership of the videos and images that exist of her online — content that she is fighting to have removed.
“I don't think anyone who doesn't have a legal background fully understands what those contracts say. There's so much jargon and there are so many loopholes and just roundabout ways of expressing things, that it's predatory, to say the least,” says Khalifa.
“It makes me feel infuriated because it's so out of my control. There's only so much fight I want to put into it without also sacrificing my mental health, but it's also not something I'll ever fully give up on because that's basically like putting the nail in my own coffin.”
One way that Khalifa has reclaimed her power is by controlling her own image and brand on social media. She currently has more than 53 million followers combined on Instagram and TikTok, and says that connecting with other women who have been exploited online has made her feel more empowered.
“TikTok has been better than therapy. The women who tell their stories, who are brave enough to put their face on the internet and share their experiences, that is where my confidence comes from,” says Khalifa. “That's been the biggest key to battling with my own shame — seeing all of these women who have been through things that are a lot worse than I have and come out, like, fighting, with skin under their nails."
In August 2020, after the explosion in Beirut, Khalifa decided to auction off her glasses to raise money for the Lebanese Red Cross . The $100,000 bid from the auction eventually fell through, and to make good on her commitment and raise money, Khalifa launched an account on OnlyFans — the social media service through which content creators receive money from their subscribers or “fans." While it features users from all walks of life, OnlyFans has become known as a safe space for sex workers to post nude or risqué photos and videos.
In the end, she was able to donate more than $160,000 to the Red Cross, and felt encouraged by the potential impact of her new platform.
“I needed to get it to [the Lebanese Red Cross] by any means, and a lot of people had opinions about where the money came from," explains Khalifa, "but I think it doesn't matter where the money is coming from. I needed to get it to [them]."
OnlyFans has not only been profitable for Khalifa, but also allows her to retain ownership of the content she creates. “It's really about the accessibility to just ending it all if I ever feel like it. I love that control," she says.
“What's different about OnlyFans is there's so much more of a connection to the fans. I trust the people who I'm sending my content out to, to the point where even if it leaks, I'm not too worried about it because I'm proud of what I'm putting out there.”
The platform has been good for Khalifa, but she's aware of the impact it can have on young girls, especially those struggling with self-esteem or the pressure to meet impossible beauty standards.
“Don't groom young women on the internet. Like it's not all glam and rainbows and a great time and celebrity status immediately and empowerment. There's a lot more behind it, and it shouldn't be a light decision that you make to go into sex work,” she stresses.
Feeling shame about her past is something that Khalifa carries every day. She can’t go back, she can’t change her path, but she’s engaging in the personal work to learn and grow. She says she's inspired by content creators like BeirutbyDyke , TaniaSafi , Medea.Azouri , MyriamBulous and AsinjustAndrea — people living in Beirut who are fighting to empower women in the Middle East. Their activism inspires Khalifa to keep moving forward.
“Pictures of my butt and cute photos are not what matters, but it's what my fans like, and that helps generate more people,” says Khalifa. “If I can shed light on the things that matter to me and the things that we should be paying attention to in the world, that is my responsibility. I don't deserve a platform if that's not what I'm doing.”
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"When I was a young model exposing my body, it was because someone else approved of it. Someone else decided it was to be celebrated."

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Mia K Gives The Girlfriend Experience
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February 22, 2022, 10:00 PM · 4 min read
Lebanese-born American Internet personality and former porn actress
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It Figures is Yahoo Life's body image series, delving into the journeys of influential and inspiring figures as they explore what body confidence, body neutrality and self-love mean to them.
Mia Khalifa 's public identity has long been associated with her body after she appeared in a Pornhub video in 2014 and became the most viewed actress on the site. After speaking out about the trauma that she experienced as a result and how she's working to move forward in her life, the 29-year-old is reclaiming her body and her relationship with it through her latest work with Playboy Centerfold .
Khalifa shares her complicated history with Yahoo Life, explaining just how her body impacted her self-worth throughout her upbringing. It even made her feel more distant from her American classmates when she immigrated from Lebanon as a child and allowed her to seek attention by other means.
"I grew up very overweight and I didn’t start losing weight until I was like 18, 19, 20," she says. "It made me insecure, it made me act hypersexual when the opportunity presented itself. Also, [I was] constantly craving validation."
She recalls seeking attention from men specifically as a means to feel good about herself at her lowest moments. "I did not feel good about myself so I just let anyone have access to it," she recalls. "I only thought that I was worthy of just existing when someone else desired me or seemingly desired me."
Still, she wouldn't come to understand these things until she had a life-altering encounter with a man who brought her into the realm of sex work. In her experience, she was made to feel completely out of control of not only her body but also the perception that people throughout the world had of her.
"It just sunk me into a depression and it sunk me into a spiral of shame," she says when reflecting on the vitriol she was faced with online and in real life after performing in a PornHub video while wearing a hijab. "I still didn’t have the confidence to really take claim over my body."
In the years since, however, she's made an effort to do just that.
Khalifa explains that her relationship with her body became better over time, noting that age made a huge difference in her experience. "Just getting older and realizing what matters and what doesn't," she says. "I love my imperfections. I feel like I’ve done the body modifications that I’ve wanted for a long time and thought hard on. I'm happy. I like the way I'm aging, I like the way I’m growing, I like the way I'm fluctuating."
She even came to realize that she could still share images of her body on social media and other platforms in a way that allows her to celebrate her figure and the new approach she has to body image, rather than feeling embarrassed by it.
"Maneuvering my way around the contradiction of feeling like I was powerless when I was in that time of my life versus doing it now in a completely different way really comes down to my confidence," she explains. "The difference is now, it is all for me. The only thing that gets shown to the public or goes out into the public sphere is something that makes me feel empowered or sexy or confident or comfortable."
Now, her work with Playboy Centerfold, a creator-led digital platform dedicated to creative freedom, artistic expression and sex-positivity, is something that she looks to as beautiful and empowering rather than shameful.
"I wouldn't say that I necessarily overcame my fear of putting my body out there. What I would say is the circumstances behind how it was happening became more in my control," Khalifa explains. "My favorite part about what I'm doing now with Centerfold is that I plan everything, I decide what I wear, I decide what photos are taken, I decide everything, down to every little tiny detail. And that's what makes it fun and that’s what makes it empowering."
Most importantly, she can exercise caution when it comes to the message that young women are faced with on social media as Khalifa uses her voice and her imperfections to start an important conversation about body image alongside her display of relatively newfound body acceptance.
"Part of me worries about today's generation with the whole FaceTune era, all of the plastic surgery being pushed on them. But another part of me just also sees the positive side of that, which is more conversations around body positivity and acceptance. And [a] better relationship with food and yourself," she says.
Ultimately, she wants people to learn from her past mistakes by accepting them as a part of her journey.
"I hope that the one thing that others learn from me is it is not a death sentence. You can do whatever you want, whatever you want," she says. "As long as you ignore all of the voices telling you you can't, literally nothing is stopping you."
-Video produced by Olivia Schneider
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