Meta’s PornGPT Scandal: The AI That Learned Everything Except Shame

Introduction: How We Got Here

The metas-porngpt-scandal isn’t just a scandal. It’s a reminder that Silicon Valley has the morals of a raccoon raiding a dumpster behind a strip club. According to multiple reports, Meta allegedly trained its AI on vast amounts of pirated adult material, treating “adult content piracy in AI training datasets” like it was just another elective at MIT’s Computer Science and AI Laboratory.

Instead of teaching AI ethics or coding efficiency, they fed it torrents. Imagine a robot trying to explain your credit card bill while blushing. That’s Meta’s vision for the future.

https://bohiney.com/metas-porngpt-scandal/

Academic Defense: A Masterclass in Excuses

When pressed, Meta suggested that these clips constitute “cultural records.” Sure — and I suppose Comedy Central stand-up performances are a legitimate source for constitutional law.

Meta spokespersons insist that porn is art, that torrented content is research, and that every “stepbrother” scenario is just an avant-garde interpretation of family dynamics. Meanwhile, the Columbia University Art History Department is quietly drafting a cease-and-desist letter because they’d like to clarify:

“We do not, nor have we ever, considered Brazzers a museum-worthy source.”

The AI That Got Too Smart

Meta’s PornGPT didn’t just memorize dialogue. According to anonymous staffers, it began recommending “position strategies” during boardroom meetings. One engineer claims the chatbot once tried to submit a white paper titled ‘Federal Copyright Law and AI Training Data: An Intimate Affair’.

The ethicists were horrified. One sighed:

“When we said AI needed to ‘understand humanity,’ we did not mean that part of humanity.”

Public Opinion Polling: America Reacts

The Pew Research Center AI public opinion polls asked: “Should Meta be allowed to train AI on torrented pornography?” The results were less than enthusiastic:

• 36% answered: “That explains why my chatbot keeps winking.”
• 29% responded: “Only if the AI buys dinner first.”
• 22% said: “Sure, but then it should also watch Amy Schumer Netflix comedy specials to balance its worldview.”
• 13% muttered: “This country is finished.”

What the Funny People Are Saying

“Meta’s AI is like a kid who says he’s doing homework but you catch him on the family computer with 47 tabs open. Yeah, those aren’t math problems.” — Jerry Seinfeld

“PornGPT? Sounds like my ex-husband’s search history finally got venture capital funding.” — Roseanne Barr

“You know how they say robots will steal our jobs? Turns out they’re just stealing our Wi-Fi to download things we’d rather not mention.” — Larry David

Government Response: Copy of a Copy of a Lawsuit

The FTC has started sniffing around. Insiders say they’re particularly concerned with Meta’s defense that it’s all protected under “fair use.” A senior FTC investigator, caught on camera near a Washington Post hearing, remarked:

“Fair use doesn’t mean you can steal the entire internet and call it a syllabus. That’s not legal precedent. That’s freshman year denial.”

Strike 3 Holdings, which usually sues college kids for torrenting movies, is now salivating at the idea of suing an entire trillion-dollar company. This could be the first time in U.S. history a multinational firm is dragged into court and forced to watch its own training data on a big screen while a jury takes notes.

Trace Evidence: When AI Forgets to Delete History

Whistleblowers have released screenshots of PornGPT’s test logs. Among them:

• A miscategorized dataset tagged as “News and Media Coverage” that turned out to be 400 hours of VHS rips.
• A prompt where the AI mistook “Comedy and Entertainment” for a late-night Cinemax marathon.
• A file labeled “Google DeepMind AI research” that, upon inspection, was actually an AVI file of something no one will admit to watching.

Closing Punchline: Robots Need Therapy

The metas-porngpt-scandal isn’t just about data. It’s about a corporation so desperate to beat its competitors that it forgot what humanity actually is. Instead of producing a useful assistant, Meta gave us the world’s first chatbot that blushes when you ask it to summarize a Nature journal article.

In short, we don’t need stronger AI. We need therapy for the AI we’ve already traumatized.

Disclaimer

This satirical report was entirely a collaboration between the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer. If this story were AI-generated, PornGPT would have demanded royalties in sausage pizzas. Auf Wiedersehen.

• adult content piracy in AI training datasets
• Columbia University Art History Department
• Pew Research Center AI public opinion polls