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I’ve been avoiding throwing rocks at the whole “Quiet is the most ludicrously sexist character in possibly all of video game history” hornet's nest to this point, but there’s been a new development that’s just too hilarious to pass up.
To recap a bit about just how absurd this Kojima-created character is, Quiet is an almost entirely mute sniper who can be your “mission buddy” in Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain (your other options include a dog and a horse). As you might have seen from any piece of promotional material from the game, she wears practically nothing while in combat zones, just a small bikini top barely containing her hefty digital boobs, and on the bottom simply fishnets over skimpy underwear.
“But aha!” Kojima says. “There’s a decidedly not-sexist twist!”
(apparently this is a spoiler so be warned)
The reason Quiet is dressed like that is because she’s affected by a parasite which forces her to breathe through her skin instead of her more traditional airways. The more skin is covered, the harder it is for her to breathe, hence the skimpy outfit. Kojima says that we as the audience should be “ashamed” if we look at her lustfully, because she’s certainly ashamed of her constant almost-nudity, and we should be too.
And if that isn’t the most absurd rationale for dressing a female combat expert in “bikini armor,” I don’t know what is.
For Kojima to better “shame” us for thinking Quiet is sexy, it seems he thought the best way to do that would be to insert her into a number of “erotic” cutscenes. Two of the most famous I’ve seen involve her stripping off her fishnets and rolling around in the rain . Then later, she takes a lengthy shower as half of Motherbase looks on because...reasons. There’s also a laughable between-mission sequence in a helicopter where if you wait long enough, she’ll crawl over to you, dangle her chest in front of you, then turn around and show you her rear as she peaks over her back with a little smile. It’s….something else. All of these are.
Fortunately, there’s a way to make these cutscenes decidedly less creepy, and downright hilarious instead. YouTube channel Tactical Modding Operations has taken two of the famous Quiet scenes, the rain bath and the shower, and inserted a fully clothed Revolver Ocelot in her place.
Ocelot writhes and spins as the camera zooms in on his chest and butt the way it does with Quiet, and I couldn’t stop laughing through either video.
I don’t know what else to say about Quiet. As a character, she’s actually not the worst, but Kojima’s insane “I must wear this sexy bikini not to die” angle is too bizarre to get past, and the prominence of her exposed body in every scene , even serious ones, damages her character beyond redemption. It’s silly to the point of being very, very sad. I look forward to the next Feminist Frequency video that’s just 35 minutes on Quiet alone, with Anita Sarkeesian just silently shaking her head the entire time.
But how about that Ocelot, huh? Rawr!
What should Destiny do with its $500M budget? Watch below:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article is about the media franchise. For the first game in the series, see Metal Gear (video game) . For other uses, see Metal Gear (disambiguation) .
"Metal Gear Solid" redirects here. For the 1998 PlayStation game, see Metal Gear Solid (1998 video game) . For the 2000 Game Boy game, see Metal Gear Solid (2000 video game) .
Three logos from games in the series


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