Mental Stimulation Sexually
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Mental Stimulation Sexually
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I was this many days old when I learned that the brain is a highly underutilized sexual organ. And it does make sense; arousal is a cerebral experience , so using the brain as a pleasure receiver can ostensibly make sex more enjoyable. More enjoyable sex, in turn, can mean a more healthy version of you. In fact, neuroscientist and sex therapist Nan Wise, PhD , wrote Why Good Sex Matters to highlight mental sex tips by showing how pleasure plays into overall well-being and is necessary for proper mind-body functioning.
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"I use the term 'mind-body' because of the intimate connection between our minds and bodies," Dr. Wise says. "Understanding that is key to what I call operational intelligence, or the ability to effectively work with our wired-in emotions." To that end, Dr. Wise has some brainy advice she wants pleasure-seekers to heed in order to connect the mind and body for leveled-up pleasure.
So, ready to put your mind to work and switch on your pleasure receiver? Below, Dr. Wise shares eight mental sex tips to supercharge your sex life with your partner.
According to Dr. Wise, good sex starts outside the bedroom. That's why learning how to cultivate a pleasure mind-set is key for sexual enjoyment. "Designate time and space for feel-good fun," Dr. Wise says. "Pleasures of all kinds, not just sexual pleasure, are good for the brain. Anything that feels good and is good for you can help you access that pleasure mind-set next time you're in the bedroom."
And according to recent research from the University of Zurich and Radboud University in the Netherlands, short-term, hedonistic pleasure can lead to long-term happiness, too. So, go ahead and enjoy some ice cream, set aside time for your favorite binge-watch, or soak for an extra-long time in the tub. Cultivating your pleasure mind-set in your daily life will help you bring that energy into your sexual encounters, whether partnered or with yourself.
If your understanding of partnered sex is essentially a version of "I come, you come, then we watch seven minutes of John Oliver and fall asleep,” cool, but know there's so much more to explore. Dr. Wise encourages embracing an approach to sex that's not objective-based, because all the phases of the sexual response cycle should be enjoyed.
"Good sex is about connection, it's about play, and it's about fun," says Dr. Wise. "Think of the bedroom as a sandbox, and just go for it."
"This is a key point to becoming turned on and present in the bedroom," says Dr. Wise. That said, if you're finding this hard to enact given huge stressors presented by pandemic , not to mention the tension-filled upcoming election, that makes sense, too.
"Thinking of your future self on the other side of the challenges presented by life can help us intentionally steer toward reinventing ourselves, and that can be truly a turn-on." —Nan Wise, PhD, neuroscientist
While there’s not an easy solve for the warranted worry about life in general right now, Dr. Wise says that point alone can be viewed as a reason to explore erotic energy. "Crisis presents an opportunity for growth, and growth is enlivening," says Dr. Wise. "Thinking of your future self on the other side of the challenges presented by life can help us intentionally steer toward reinventing ourselves, and that can be truly a turn-on."
I’ve started practicing this by making gratitude lists for what I love right now and also noting my [super out-there] dreams for the future. Will I someday be eating lasagna with John Cusack in Tuscany? Maybe not. Have crazier things happened this year? Absolutely. So, no harm in being open to a brighter, pleasure-filled future.
In 2016, Dr. Wise published a study that revealed how "just imagining" having your genitals pleasurably stimulated sans touch could “light up the reward centers of the brain like a Christmas tree,” she says. “Thought alone turned on the brain's sensory pleasure centers. And using your imagination is something that can be honed.”
In light of these results, Dr. Wise developed an exercise called Touch Plus Imagery as a mental sex tip to help people learn to connect the dots between their genitals and their brain's pleasure hot spots. The idea is to find a calm, comfortable, and (ideally) private space to unwind, wearing (or not wearing) anything to obstruct touching yourself. If you're a vulva owner, for two to five minutes, rhythmically stroke your clitoris and paying attention to the sensation without intending to make the experience erotic. Pause. Now just imagine being touched for a minute or two. Repeat this pattern in rounds, and you'll eventually be able to activate heightened sensations through the power of imagined touch.
According to Dr. Wise, harnessing the breath via yogic breathwork, "which incorporates 'energy locks' involving the pelvic floor muscles," can put us in a calm receptive state. This is key to accessing our ability to experience pleasure.
You can also start small with this breathing technique to reach your highest climax yet.
When we first fall in love and are basking in that honeymoon-period glow, the sex tends to be incredible . Part of that is because we’re powered by what Dr. Wise calls new relationship energy, when our minds are ablaze with all sorts of feel-good chemicals . During this time, we seek, want, crave, and lust for contact with our new squeeze, and we become fascinated by the nuances of their lives. When familiarity sets in, so can routine...in your relationship, and in bed. But that doesn't have to be the case.
"One good way to re-stoke the fire that leads to better sex is by deliberating stoking the SEEKING system to pump up the dopamine by putting more attention on our partners and their worlds,” says Dr. Wise. “Ask them simple questions such as what's the high point and low point of their day."
"Flirt with your partner in ways you haven't done so," Dr. Wise says. "Tell them a secret thought, wish, fantasy, or fear. The ability to reveal ourselves is the key to our ability to be truly intimate. Remember better sex comes from better connection."
"When we are present to the experience we are having, rather than focused on our mind watching the experience, love-making becomes hugely more fun," Dr. Wise says. “One of the biggest bummers in the bedroom is when we are watching ourselves and monitoring our sexual ‘performance.’"
The mind inevitably wanders, but bring attention back to the sensations from the body is possible. Focus on how you’re feeling in the experience and if you're feeling good, eventually, your mind will succumb to the sensations, and your body will follow.
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28 minutes ago, NuderThanNude said:
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49 minutes ago, Bobs yer Uncle said:
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On 3/25/2021 at 7:27 AM, wayless said:
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On 3/25/2021 at 10:01 AM, wayless said:
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54 minutes ago, NuderThanNude said:
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On 3/26/2021 at 7:56 AM, NuderThanNude said:
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NuderThanNude ,
March 25, 2021 in small-X-change - MAIN FORUM
This is a topic I almost never hear people talking about. Its almost like it isn't a part of sex to them at all. I myself have found it to be the most important part of sexual enjoyment. All I ever hear about is 'physical' stimulation during sex. Women talk about how large a penis they need to be able to orgasm, or that the guy isn't hitting the 'right' spot. Guys complain they don't get enough stimulation from a vagina because there penis is too small, or the vagina is too large. Haven't you guys (or your partners) ever had an orgasm or even been driven 90% of the way to orgasm by being mentally stimulated where the slightest touch is the final trigger to an uncontrollable, mind blowing orgasm?
However, just like physical conditioning the mind needs to be exercised sexually to stay at its peak. I have found ways during my life to keep myself consistently mentally sexually stimulated.
With the right amount of 'mental' sexual excitement I don't even need to feel sensations from my penis. Just the thought that a part of my body is inside the body of someone I have strong feelings for is enough for me to reach orgasm. That is the power of 'mental sexual stimulation'.
My point to this is that it can make the matter of penis or vaginal size irrelevant because increasing 'mental' stimulation proportionally reduces the need for 'physical' stimulation. This works equally for both men and women.
I like both porn and stories. I certainly get stimulated by watching others on video but I do really get into reading first person stories so that I can put myself into the place of the story teller.
Ah wet dreams! They were great except that they were...wet.
I totally agree that mental stimulation is the most important part of our sexuality. After all, the brain is our largest sexual organ. Well, at least it definitely is for me. LOL
Mental images
I require physical stimulation. I can look at porn, talk dirty...whatever....and the most I'll get is a boner and some precum. I've never had a wet dream either. It takes a lot of stimulation for me to cum. Probably because I've been a chronic masturbator since I was 8yo.
I'm another one who has never experienced a wet dream.
My point to this is that it can make the matter of penis or vaginal size irrelevant because increasing 'mental' stimulation proportionally reduces the need for 'physical' stimulation. This works equally for both men and women.
But you need to give us some examples of what "mental things" give you or a partner the stimulation you are talking about.
Ah wet dreams! They were great except that they were...wet.
When I was younger I was on a ‘hair trigger’ more than once. There *were* a few times when a single touch set me off.
And, on one memorable occasion when we were dating, without any preliminary chit-chat at all, my first wife greeted me after I’d been away for a week with the news that she’d had sex with a young man she barely knew, on a whim, at a ‘lover’s lane’ we often used.
I was instantly erect when she confessed to this.
And then she told me that she’d briefly sucked his (“a LOT bigger than YOURS”) penis as they sat in the front seat of his car until he was erect before swinging her leg over his lap and fucking him with such wild abandon that he ejaculated almost instantly.
At that point I then involuntarily ejaculated in my pants without even a touch.
When I was younger I was on a ‘hair trigger’ more than once. There *were* a few times when a single touch set me off......
At that point I then involuntarily ejaculated in my pants without even a touch. .......
That reminds me that I spent a lot effort REDUCING and avoiding mental stimulation. First, in group showers where I was the only one unhung with no puberty. Next whenever I attempted sex with women to prevent too early ejaculation.
Probably too concerned with my own mental state to provide mental stimulation for the female partner who may have needed it!
Whole new take on why sex with me sucked for most female partners and why physical "sucking" stimulation of woman required.
This is a topic I almost never hear people talking about. Its almost like it isn't a part of sex to them at all. I myself have found it to be the most important part of sexual enjoyment. All I ever hear about is 'physical' stimulation during sex. Women talk about how large a penis they need to be able to orgasm, or that the guy isn't hitting the 'right' spot. Guys complain they don't get enough stimulation from a vagina because there penis is too small, or the vagina is too large. Haven't you guys (or your partners) ever had an orgasm or even been driven 90% of the way to orgasm by being mentally stimulated where the slightest touch is the final trigger to an uncontrollable, mind blowing orgasm?
However, just like physical conditioning the mind needs to be exercised sexually to stay at its peak. I have found ways during my life to keep myself consistently mentally sexually stimulated.
With the right amount of 'mental' sexual excitement I don't even need to feel sensations from my penis. Just the thought that a part of my body is inside the body of someone I have strong feelings for is enough for me to reach orgasm. That is the power of 'mental sexual stimulation'.
My point to this is that it can make the matter of penis or vaginal size irrelevant because increasing 'mental' stimulation proportionally reduces the need for 'physical' stimulation. This works equally for both men and women.
I agree mental stimulation is a
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