Men Threesomes
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Men Threesomes
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
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At some point in your life, you’ve likely fantasized about having a threesome. You’re not alone, my friend. When Men's Health advisory board member Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast , author of Tell Me What You Want , surveyed over 4,000 people on their sexual fantasies, he found that having a threesome is the most common sexual fantasy among Americans. Ninety-five percent of men and 87% of women said they had fantasized about sex with multiple partners.
We're here to talk about the best threesome sex positions—and we'll get there, we promise! But before you jump into bed with a third person, there are a few important threesome tips to keep in mind. First, if you’re still looking for a third, you should check out our list of the best threesome apps . (And don’t assume just because a woman is bisexual, she’ll want to have a threesome with you. Bi women are often harassed on dating apps, constantly asked if they’d be down to have a threesome, and they’re tired of it !)
Once you know who you'll be getting down with, you should talk to everyone involved before stripping naked, setting clear boundaries and clarifying expectations. Quite a few things can go wrong during a threesome , but by talking it out with all members beforehand, you'll up the chances of everyone coming away sexually satisfied.
Now, onto those threesome sex positions we promised! It can be complicated trying to fit everyone's bodies together. Six is a lot of limbs! That's why we're here to talk about the best threesome sex positions, including options for bi threesomes, where everyone is into each other, and "devil's" threesomes , where two of the participants aren't playing with each other.
So without further ado, here are 10 threesome sex positions that are super hot and totally doable. (For more sexy ways to switch up your bedroom routine, check out our list of the all-time best sex positions .)
How to do it: While one partner straddles your waist and junk in a traditional cowgirl position, the other straddles your face allowing you to go down on them.
Pro tip: The person sitting on your face can straddle you either way, but it’s typically better if they straddle you while facing the other partner, so they, too, can kiss and touch each other if they want.
How to do it: You’re the “caboose” of this train, penetrating your partner doggy style. The middle partner is then either digitally penetrating or eating out the head of the train, who’s also on their knees, bent forward in a classic doggy style position.
How to do it: Your two partners are on their knees in front of you, both blowing you at the same time.
Pro tip: It’s best if one blower focuses on you balls while the other focuses on your penis. Depending on if you’re into it, one partner could actually be on their knees, rimming you from behind while the other person goes down on you from the front.
How to do it: You’re having sex with the first partner doggy style. The third partner is lying on their back positioned in a manner that allows the middle person to go down on them.
How to do it: Everyone is lying on their sides in a circular position eating out/blowing one another.
Pro tip: I wouldn’t do this if the people you’re with aren’t roughly your size. If you’re a foot taller than the other partners, this may be difficult to navigate.
How to do it: The partner in the middle gets penetrated from behind and performs a BJ at the same time.
Pro tip: I'm personally not into touching both hands at the top to create the appearance of the Eiffel Tower, but if you feel the urge, I’m not going yuck your yum.
How to do it: One person lies on their back underneath the vulva-owning partner, who's also on their back. The other partner penetrates them in the missionary position.
Pro tip: Porn stars deserve a raise because they make this look so easy, when in fact, it’s quite difficult. But here are some tips that can help: Have the person with the bigger penis be in the backdoor, because the angle makes it’s more likely he’s going to slip out. Both penis-owners should not attempt to thrust at the same time, because if you do, one of you will slip out almost immediately.
How to do it: This is the same as the Doggy Deluxe, except with two penis-owners. One of them is having sex with the vulva-owning partner in doggy style. The other person lies on their back to easily receive oral.
How to do it: Everyone lies on their sides and penetrates the person in front of them either anally or vaginally.
Pro Tip: Really squish yourselves together for this position. If you have too much space between you, someone is going to slip out.
How to do it: It's like the 2009 horror movie...except actually good. In this position, all three people are on their knees, rimming the person in front of them.
Pro Tip: Despite the awful (but hilarious) name, this is amazing for guys who are into analingus. It’s also a great position to start in, because from there, it’s easy to seamlessly move into a number of the more penetrative sex positions listed above, like the Doggy Train or Doggy Deluxe.
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According to a small recent study, this type of ménage à trois is a lot more common than you think
“The Eiffel Tower is such a thing,” says Rachel* (names have been changed to protect sources' privacy), a 25-year-old recent college graduate. To be clear, Rachel isn't referring to the iconic Parisian landmark: she's referring to a slang term for a sex position where a woman is on all fours and giving oral sex to one man, while another man has sex with her from behind. What makes it an Eiffel Tower is when the two men high-five each other, forming the point of what is basically a squirmy, sloppy triangle. "It's one of the best parts," she gushes.
Rachel is polyamorous, which means she is in relationships with multiple partners — in this case, two men. They both know each other, and they're cool with Rachel having sex with each of them individually. Rachel says they're also turned on by the idea of “sharing” her, which means that occasionally, they'll all have sex at the same time.
Before she met her boyfriends, Rachel had had a few threesomes with other women. But guy-guy threesomes are a favorite of hers — and, Rachel adds, they are severely underrated. Being the “center of attention” and having the power to “call the shots” during sex with two men, Rachel says, is “the most empowering experience.”
Threesomes are a common fantasy : according to a 2016 Archives of Sexual Behavior study , 82 percent of heterosexual men and 31 percent of heterosexual women have fantasized about having a menage a trois at one point or another. While that study didn't specify what type of threesome people most often fantasized about, girl-girl-guy has typically been considered the gold standard of threesomes, with a separate study indicating that one in three men have fantasized about being in the middle of a two-lady sandwich. But that doesn't necessarily mean your partner will be into it. Morgan*, 24, hates girl-girl-guy threesomes because "the other girl isn't always that skilled at [giving me] pleasure,” she says. That's why she prefers having sex with two men at the same time .
Morgan, Rachel, and their partners aren’t alone in their love of MMF threeways. According to researcher Dr. Ryan Scoats of Birmingham City University, who got his PhD. studying threesomes , five of the 30 men he surveyed had had a threesome with a man. While that sample size is admittedly small, he told Broadly that he got the sense that while MMF threesomes would have been "more stigmatized" in the past, the men he polled "did seem comfortable telling at least their friends that they'd had an MMF threesome. I think because of the reduction of homophobia in general within society, this allows men to have these kinds of threesomes with no fear about what others are going to think of them for it." Scoats also cited previous research supporting the idea that straight, working-class guys in the United Kingdom are increasingly participating in " emotional intimacy and physical tactility " with each other.
The idea that straight men are becoming increasingly comfortable with same-sex experimentation isn't necessarily new. According to author and sociologist Jane Ward, who wrote Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (which famously spawned the phrase " bro jobs" ), it's not uncommon for straight dudes to engage in sexual acts with each other without self-identifying as gay or bisexual. Sexual fluidity, the idea that sexual orientation and attraction to a particular gender can ebb, flow, and change over time, is becoming more socially acceptable: while there's an idea that women are inherently more sexually fluid than men , Ward attributes this to “long-held beliefs about the fundamental difference between men and women that are not accurate.”
That doesn't necessarily mean that guy-guy-girl threesomes have to necessarily involve guy-on-guy contact (hence, the anxiety over " crossing swords ," or how the Lonely Island music video for " Threeway " — featuring the line "it's not gay if it's in a threeway" — became a cultural punchline). But even if two men are having sex with one woman at the same time and not interacting with each other at all, the MMF three-way is still highly stigmatized.
“I think there’s a stigma that men feel that if they engage in play with another man present, that it is gay or that it means they like men. While this may be the case [if the two men are gay], it doesn't have to be at all. It can just be about pleasure or an experience,” says Nicoletta Heidegger , a sexologist based in Los Angeles.
For Alex*, a heterosexual, 28-year-old freelance cinematographer, MMF threesomes aren’t about the other guy at all — and he’s had several, with different partners. “I love facilitating a girl’s fantasy of being with two guys," he says. “I enjoy doing my best to give her as much pleasure as possible, and then watching someone else extend the pleasurable experience for her." (Watching another dude have sex with your partner is actually a pretty common fetish: according to Pornhub Insights , searches for the term "cuckolding," or watching your wife have sex with another man, have increased substantially in the past few years.)
Alex thinks a lot of the stigma surrounding MMF threeways derives not just from "homophobia," but also from a “sense of ownership” of the woman involved. Which makes sense: if you're not turned on the idea of watching your partner have sex with someone else, group sex can often incite jealousy, no matter what the third party's gender is. That's why it's important to have an open conversation with your partner about your boundaries and your desires before having a threesome , regardless of who's invited into the mix.
FFM may be most couples’ go-to when venturing into the wide world of open relationships or group sex, but if you’re both into it, it's worth considering MMF as part of the rotation. “It’s rare for a girl to feel safe enough to ask, follow through, and allow you to be involved,” Alex says. But when it works, it can be a lot of fun for everyone involved. “If you think it’s hot, it’s hot,” Rachel says.
A straight guy friend of mine recently expressed interest in a guy-guy-girl threesome. I've always been perplexed this. What do the guys get out of it? -What's In It For Me?
Um, hot sex with a game lady? More people to high-five afterward? A supplemental partner strong enough to help you achieve The Wheelbarrow?
Think outside your box, my friend. Regardless of the gender of the other person involved, the straight men still get to bang a hot chick. I know what you're thinking, and it's invariably a "Ghostbusters" joke about "not crossing the streams" because we all know where two naked penises in the same room lead: Browntown, USGAY. Never mind locker rooms, circle jerks, roommates, public bathrooms, frat houses, skinny dipping, and so forth.
Perhaps the most obvious answer is: because they can. Some people are in it for the thrill, the taboo, or simply to fulfill a fantasy for their partner, in the case of a coupled threesome. Ergonomically speaking, there's a lot more you can do with three people: more stimulation, more positions, and let's not forget the ever popular double penetration move, currently not possible with one man, unless he is bi-penal or using a dildo. There are also plenty of men out there who are turned on by the idea of their girlfriends/wives screwing other men.
Granted, some straight guys are bi-curious and want to test the waters from a relatively safe realm of heteronormativity. But mixed threesomes don't automatically imply bisexuality. Just ask half the girls I've hooked up with. I say it's about time MMF threesomes had their day in the sun. It's certainly a common fantasy among straight women, if the prevalence of
is any indication. I'm not even going to mention the threesome potential of the Twilight books. Today's empowered women are finally standing up and saying, "Yes! I want the shirtless werewolf and the sparkly vampire."
A friend of mine who had threesomes with another guy and a girl said, "It's basically just all about putting attention on the girl. The other guy knew I was bi, but I knew he wasn't and didn't want to do anything funky so I just didn't do anything with him."
Like most other sexual experiences that deviate from the norm (procreative, missionary, etc.), threesomes have the potential to teach us things about ourselves we may not have otherwise known. Maybe it's by watching how others perform, maybe it's learning new moves, maybe it's simply by witnessing a different dynamic than you're used to.
Justin Timberlake, Lady Gaga, and Andy Samberg agree.
Have a question for Anna? Email redeyedating@gmail.com .
From Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository
M/M/F threesome (en) sexual activity that involves two men and one woman at the same time (en) MMF, Threesome with one woman and two men, Threesome MMF (en)
sexual activity that involves two men and one woman at the same time
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