Men Spreading
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Men Spreading
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I suspect the reason men do this is very simple: we think we should. Sitting with knees together and legs in tight is a sign of weakness or homosexuality - both social death, of course. So with this overbearing sense of self-consciousness, we have somehow decided that 'legs akimbo' is the norm.
Gay Times columnist and online dating survivor
02/12/2014 12:17pm GMT | Updated February 1, 2015
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Gay Times columnist and online dating survivor
I learned quite early on as a teenager there was a wrong way and a right way for a man to sit. As with most harsh lessons, it came from a bully. The dickhead of the week currently enjoying the school bus's dazzling spotlight pointed out to everyone the way I was sitting.
"You sit like a girl. Poof. Is it because you've got a small dick?"
I looked down at my knees and immediately felt even more prim and proper than usual. My default sitting position was with my legs crossed at the knee or bolt-up straight with my legs pushed together, usually a book balanced upon them so I could have free hands while I ate toast or a Pot Noodle or whatever I was pretending to be into at the time. I had assumed it was perfectly normal.
I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that the people pointing out to me that I sat like a woman - like that's a bad thing - weren't the kind of people who would ever need to balance a book on their knees.
But of course I didn't wear a skirt and wouldn't have to endure boys trying to catch sight of my knickers or put their hand up there, so why would I close my legs? Bonjour patriarchy.
Obviously, I fell into line and did an admirable impression of having rickets just so I could fit in. But I never felt right.
As soon as I left my pea-brained hometown, I gave up sitting like I had a gross-weight of aubergines down my Y-fronts, but the manspreading phenomenon seems to be getting worse . We are almost at the stage where a man needs to have his thighs winched apart just to he can have the optimum angle for taking up more than one bus or Tube seat.
Forever reluctant to come into contact with a manspreader, I have come to dread boarding a bus and seeing no single seats available. I quickly scan my fellow passengers and make a beeline for a woman, knowing it's unlikely I'll have to perch on the edge of the seat while her legs point to opposite sides of the bus. As I do this, I can sometimes sense the woman cringe, no doubt mistaking me for a man who sits like a dick-scratching gorilla and worrying her entire journey will be spent pressed up against the bus window thanks to a pair of cantilever thighs.
I suspect the reason men do this is very simple: we think we should. Sitting with knees together and legs in tight is a sign of weakness or homosexuality - both social death, of course. So with this overbearing sense of self-consciousness, we have somehow decided that 'legs akimbo' is the norm.
We live in a confusing world, a world of Dapper Laughs and Julien Blanc, who I bet sit with their legs ten miles apart at all times. A man should slouch on a bus, like the world is his E-Z chair. He got to the seat first, and he's sitting the way that makes him feel comfy - if you don't like it, you should either stand or just perch in the room available to you, right? Wrong.
There isn't enough time in my life - and probably the world - to run through these incredibly stupid rules we set for ourselves, that we should do something just because it's what our peers tell us or that we should have these deranged ideas of masculinity and femininity. I can't even go into the other reason why I try to sit next to women on the bus - that I'm frightened a man will sense my homosexuality and think I have selected his seat because I fancy him, that he will see the way I am sitting and think I am a great big gaylord.
Every bus is the school bus. Even now.
What you are doing when you spread your legs on the bus seat is asserting your dominance, taking your throne. Sadly, for you, your subjects don't appreciate or respect you. So snap 'em shut, bae. You're making people feel uncomfortable, and unsafe. And nobody should aspire to that.
But we can change. You can change. People can help us change. Sitting down is a bit like listening - but rather than put your lips together an blow, you put your legs together and breathe in. Your cock and balls aren't fascinating and nobody is going to hand you a bottle of poppers just because you sit with your knees knocking. (Don't cross your legs though - according to my best friend's formidable Russian mum, it gives you varicose veins.)
Women, and non-manspreading men, don't stand while King Splay airs his nutsack to the entire train. Say "excuse me" and sit in the seat, and spread your very own legs as far as you can within the confines of the seat. Like invading ivy spreading too fast it needs a prune, and it needs it regularly.
As most things in life, the rules are simple: don't be a dick, don't let others think you're a dick. You're not the most important person on the bus. Your legs are not weapons and don't impress anybody the wider apart they are.
Exert your power elsewhere, in areas you can change, but keep your thighs together, for all our sakes. Be a man - just don't sit like one.
Gay Times columnist and online dating survivor
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Hey, To The Guy Who Is Manspreading On The Subway, Knock It Off And Close Your Legs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo6D4MXrJ5c
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An outdated Southern rule or proper etiquette?
Celebrate Labor Day by learning about the law changing activities that created the holiday.
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I know you don't mean to, but please be aware next time.
To the guy who is manspreading on the Broad Street Line,
Please stop. You may not even know what you're doing wrong or what "manspreading" is. Let me educate you. Manspreading, as defined in the Oxford online dictionary, is "The practice whereby a man, especially one traveling on public transport, adopts a sitting position with his legs wide apart, in such a way as to encroach on an adjacent seat or seats."
Now you're probably thinking, "Yeah, I do that, but it's not really bothering anyone." or "Yeah, I do that because I have to. It's uncomfortable for me to sit in any other way."
Let me give you some perspective. I'm a college student who has been up all night studying for a chem exam. I still feel cold in my bones from walking the 1 mile from my house to the subway to get to Temple, and I feel my spine starting to curve due to my heavy backpack. The contact in my right eye is bothering me but I can't scratch it or even touch my face because of the germs I came into contact with on the railing. I'm looking for a seat in the crowded subway, scanning the car for a warm orange seat when I spot one! I walk towards it and there you are, taking up half of the empty seat with one of your gangly legs. I have two options at this point. A. I tell you to move or B. I continue standing up for fear of a confrontation. Which one do you think I always choose?
Manspreading is such a problem because it's about having a lack of respect for those around you. The whole point of taking public transportation is to get from one place to another at a reduced rate in a shared car or bus. When sharing this space with others, whether it be a subway, trolley, bus, or train, it is important that you keep to your own space, and take up the smallest amount of space you can - especially during rush hour!
Manspreading is a universal problem and it was even banned in Madrid .
SEPTA loves to post their Dude It's Rude signs. . . I'm wondering when they're going to do one about manspreading.
SEPTA | Passenger Etiquette www.septa.org
My purpose in writing this is to make you, the reader, aware of your behavior the next time you're on public transportation. And this is not just for you manspreaders, but it's for you bag spreaders, those of you who play loud music, smoke weed on the subway, and more.
Why does September feel so melancholy?
Today, I sat in my fishing buddy's small rowboat, drifting on the surface of the Walkill River, leaned back, and felt so content I nearly fell asleep. I opened my eyes, in awe of a gorgeous cotton candy-colored sky moving along like a painting. One tiny little detail I noticed: the sun was beginning to set.
An open letter to the place I call home on the 20th anniversary of living here.
We fail to see that Our home is a sinking ship, Vanishing slowly.
They failed to see that This place was a sinking ship Inevitably doomed.
For anyone living in the southeastern part of the United
States, you’ve probably heard your mother or grandmother stress the importance
of not wearing white after Labor Day at least once in your lifetime.
The Industrial Revolution of the 19th century sparked a growth in business and production for the United States. Factory and mill working began to overtake farming as more and more people moved out to the cities to find work.
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A new study has found that men stretch out their legs while seated on the subway five times more often than do female passengers.
The Hunter College report released Thursday found that more than 26 percent of men comfortably separated their legs — or “manspread” — in their seats, compared to less than 5 percent of women.
“What makes so many men think that they are entitled to two or more seats on the train?” said Sarah Constantine. “Maybe we need a mass revolt against the manspread.”
The MTA launched an ad campaign in January 2015 to curb the practice of guys stretching their limbs while lounging on subway seats.
The ads, posted in subway cars, showed a stick figure engaging in the lazy practice and included the description: “Dude . . . Stop The Spread, Please.”
As the Hunter College study showed, even when men choose to stand on trains, it’s likely because they refuse to squeeze the knees.
“Females are less squeamish than males about sitting down in a tight space on a crowded train,” said sociology prof Peter Tuckel, one of three professors who led the study. “They say ‘excuse me’ and then squeeze in.”
Over 100 students observed more than 5,000 subway riders on 21 lines between Oct. 6 and Nov. 6.
The professors issued strict guidelines to ensure that student observers picked as random a sampling as possible.
In addition to manspreading, the biggest faux pas that straphangers regularly made was wearing their backpacks while standing in crowded cars.
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