Men In Women Lingerie

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I will tell you about clothes because fashion is what happens when people wear clothes.
How to Find Women Who Like Men in Lingerie
'Hope, how can I find a woman who likes men who wear lingerie'? I get this question rather a lot, and while I can't point any of you to the 'women who like men who wear lingerie' store, I can give you a few pointers to help you along the road to finding such a lady.
After all, most men who wear lingerie also want to find female partners who will be okay with them wearing lingerie, and hopefully, even enjoy it. The idea of a lifetime of hiding an important part of oneself does not appeal to many men, though there are many men who have found themselves in just that situation.
Finding those elusive women who are okay with men who wear lingerie is something of a tall order but there are some things you can do to increase your chances of finding a lady who will be supportive and understanding of your desire to wear lingerie. Here's the first, and possibly most important step in the process:
This may seem counterintuitive, but I say it for a reason (aside from just being all Zen and smug about things, which is fun and all). Looking for women who declare that they like men who wear lingerie does two things:
Prior to being introduced to the phenomenon of men who wear lingerie I can't say that I'd given it any thought whatsoever. If my partner at the time had elected to only date women who somehow indicated that they liked men wearing panties, then we would have both missed out on a great deal.
Instead of looking for a woman who likes men who wear lingerie, instead look for a woman who is open-minded, perhaps one who has some interesting carnal proclivities herself. There's a chance you may have to accommodate a sexual idiosyncrasy of hers, perhaps one that you hadn't thought of before.
Remember too, that you are looking for a romantic partner who is a person, too—she's not just a vehicle for your lingerie desires. This is intellectually obvious, but looking for 'a woman who will like me wearing panties/bra/stockings' does turn all potential dates into rather one-dimensional creatures. You'd be surprised at how often men do this, perhaps because they tend to be rather practical souls. Women very rarely appreciate this approach, however, and yes, even if you don't vocalize it, they can tell that you're screening them for certain qualities, and they generally don't like it.
Look for a Woman Who Is Open-Minded
Also, remember that women are emotional creatures, and that love has the potential to make women accept things that they might not think they would. Quite often, women leave comments on this sort of article saying things like 'Omg no way, that is so gay!' . . . but one suspects strongly that if it were a man they loved who wanted to wear lingerie, they may respond differently.
They may also respond differently depending on his appearance of masculinity. Many women fear that a man who wears lingerie will be less masculine, less sexy, less of a good mate than one who does not. However, if you put someone like Arnie in a pair of pink panties, I doubt that he would lose much of his allure with the ladies. It's all about attitude and making her feel comfortable with you as a man before you go introducing the panties and things. So to conclude, a series of bullet points:

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Image from stockingirl.com, your source for hot stockings.
Here's what will surely be a hot button issue - men wearing lingerie in order to feel feminine. Many of the articles written on the subject of men in lingerie have focused on the reasons for men wearing lingerie being things like the sensation of smooth fabrics against the skin, or simple enjoyment of the look. For some men, this is undoubtedly the reason why they wear lingerie, but for others, it's not. Many men who wear lingerie do so because they like to feel feminine, and some men who wear women's lingerie in order to feel feminine also choose a female name to go along with it.
Many of the men who do this, are, believe it or not, straight, heterosexual men. This raises several interesting questions, most of which I will not pretend to have the answer to. Being a woman, I would not presume to climb into the head space of men who have not shared such information with me, and men wearing lingerie to feel feminine (and admitting it) is not something I have that much direct hands on experience with (though I have suspected it from time to time).
However, in spite of my admitted ignorance, I am addressing this issue now because it is blatantly obvious that there are many men who are into wearing lingerie to feel feminine, and to ignore them would be both rude, and to miss an opportunity to learn. So, what ho chaps, let's get some (clean) discussion going on this topic, shall we?
I find it especially interesting that straight men desire to feel feminine, whereas women seem to not often have this issue or desire. It is very rare that a straight woman will go out of her way to find men's attire and get a frisson of excitement at seeing herself dressed as a man, to the point where she buys men's clothes and hides them away, and even creates a male alter ego for herself. I am sure that there are some straight women who do this sort of thing, and I know it is fairly prevalent in the lesbian community, but I haven't met any straight women indulging in this sort of thing, nor have I seen any strong evidence of any about the place, so I must therefore assume that the numbers are relatively small. We could conclude from this then, that straight women tend to embrace and enjoy their femininity, and do not wish to identify with the masculine, whereas on the other side of the coin, many more men are quite keen to embrace the feminine.
What is this then, the allure of femininity? Is it simply the power of the female as addressed in this hub HERE ? Is it a desire to merge yin and yang together, to be a whole person instead of a half energy? Is it freeing to play the female, to be allowed to be delicate and helpless, to seek refuge from the rigors of masculinity which demands so much strength all the time?
What i love about lace is how femine it make me feel, and the join it give my man.
Due to prescribed meds I have to take my testosterone levels decreased significantly and my Estrogen levels increased. My doctor wanted to prescribe Testosterone replacement for me but after eading all the side effects and dangers I opted not to. Jump ahead 2 years and I have grown breasts large enough that I no longer wear t-shirts because they are that prominent! I feel totally different as a person also, oft times I feel very feminine. I have discussed this with my GF several times and she seems to actually like it. She likes to "play" with my breasts when we are making love and has talked me into wearing a bra on a number of occasions. The odd thing is that I felt totally at ease in a bra and even started liking it. Now I get these urges to wear one all the time. My GF has asked me if I want to become transgender, sometimes I do and sometimes not so I am completely confused except I still gravitate towards bras, they make me feel secure.
I suspect a lot of men wearing lingerie 'just for the feeling' and not at all for femininity are repressing the element of femininity it entails. Because softness in our world associates with feminity.
Which might be part of the answer. C.G. Jung (and others before, you mention yin-yang) talk of both female and male aspects in all of us (animus and anima).
For women, the outside world (patriarchy? Doesnt matter in this context) put them in firm boundaries - only wearing skirts etc. This has losened a lot (although see madonnas speech) in terms of outer expression (as long as they don't 'act': seek to decide, gain power, speak up, etc.) - while in everyday life, men have just about achieved long hair to be ok - unless you're gay, in which case you're almost expected to be effeminate, since you lose 'real man' status anyways in much of societies eyes. In short, there is such a pressure to be a 'manly man' and what that means, that it's no wonder some men - maybe especially those trying to highly fullfill their 'male' duties: acting, deciding, being tough, providing, being emotionally more stable/repressed, etc. long for a pressure valve, an expression where they can just 'be' (instead of 'do'). The minimum is then doing this alone in secret, but the loving acceptance, support and initiation from a partner is then so much more powerful. Also some may be content with panties or stockings, if the physical aspect is stronger, while others are more mental about it and want to transform including a female name etc. Breaking the taboo might be more exciting for very rule-oriented (raised) people in this context.
So in conclusion: of course it doesnt make you less of a man - it makes you someone who maybe doesnt have the possibility or desire right now to transform childhood experience and current pressures into a completely interior, psychological balance of yin-yang - or in more positive terms, someone who is further along accepting both parts in themselves than most if society and living the freedom of expressing both, at least in private.
Just as long as it's not an expression of being unable to adjust flexibly in the rest of your life, actually have conflicts, stand up for yourself, express needs instead of swallowing them always - if it becomes your only outlet in a toxic environment psychological counselling will help, not dressing up more.
In any case, you can be monogamous and love your female partner 100% - both her sides. Maybe it would make her more whole to explore her strong, self-confident, acting, initiating, protecting and providing (a safe space for her partner to be vulnerable and wanted just being) side as well.
True love is not two half people clinging to each other to become one, each repressing their own shadow side for the rest of their lives, but two people helping each other to become whole, and using their strenghts to temporarily carry the other through times where their weak points may need it.
there are many reasons why men dress. One common one is to help with their stress levels. I know my stress level goes way down when I dress. I love the feel of nylon and satin against my skin and most people have no idea how much that helps me to feel feminine. I think there is a certain segment of men who adore women and want to be like them. Dressing gives them them the chance to be like and feel like a woman to a certain degree. For me it goes much deeper then just dressing. I long to explore my feminine side so much deeper and to feel as many feminine things as i can. The intensity is so very strong and overpowering each time I dress. It is difficult to put into words, the intensity and my feelings are so overwhelming and powerful. I cant speak for all crossdressers , these are just my feelings and desires.
As a man I feel the feminine side does get strong at times and then you want to let that side out as they would say, to be free. One way to do this is wearing the clothes that fit the sex at that time, if feeling strongly like a woman then the feminine clothes would be the choice of clothing to wear and feel good in.This happens to me at times and then gets hard to do if I want to go out someplace. The undergarments are easy to use because no one see them and they feel good more comfortable than the men's style. I think the freedom to chose what type of clothes is up to the person and how they feel wearing them. I all I'm in favor of letting men use what they want dresses, skirts, and what ever style of underwear they want. Thanks Hope for bringing this out and the artical you wrote.
I am a straight married father of two. I like to offroad, shoot guns, buy tools, work on cars, etc. I have never had the desire to become a women or hook up with a guy. But, as a child I enjoyed dressing in stockings and slip. This went on and off with ceasing the practice for maybe a decade. This was not a consensus choice, it was purely a timing thing. Marriage, house, kids, etc. I progressed from home alone to short work days and onto full work days. Now I have moved onto wearing thigh highs every chance I get. Even at home with wifey. She hasn't got a clue. I find it very stimulating to go to the next level. Kinda like riding your bike out of the neighborhood when you were 9, or sneaking a cigarette from your aunt at Thanksgiving and smoking behind the woodshed. You know, heart racing stuff. I think I will try makeup and nail polish the next time wifey goes out of town. I found some old makeup in the attic but it's mostly dried up. Hopefully she will leave some behind when shes gone for me to try. I am very careful and hope I don't slip (pun) up and get caught.
You've essentially asked what I have found to be the million dollar question as it were, Hope. So in my reading through all the articles you've posted on here related to this topic, it seems as if you feel you see more men who will put on womens panties and leave it at that for whatever their possible reasons may be?
Well in that regard, I have been down right shocked at the number of men in the world who, like myself, are heterosexual yet feel the need to dress as feminine as possible from time to time and to the extent that there is an alter ego. I started dressing when I was 12 and for the past decade (I am 25 now), I have noticed the desire to dress head to toe in female attire as well as put on a wig, heels, make-up and fake nails comes in phases. I think a very challenging part for me, and I would imagine every other guy in my situation, is that in college I went through a period where it was impossibly difficult to understand how I could have these two completely competing sides to who I am.
So there was certainly a time where I felt that I might be gay simply because I couldn't justify why I sometimes needed to become a female persona yet the rest of the time I was the definition of masculine. I, thankfully after interacting with others who were going through similar thoughts as me via places such as myspace.com, was able to at least conclude comfortably that I am a heterosexual male, attracted very much to women with no desire in men, who likes to spend time in a feminine persona because I enjoy that level of being "girly" and "feminine"".
Not to run this on forever, but I saw here that you wrote this article a year and a half ago and while it is certainly one of the most difficult aspects of this conversation to have, I honestly believe its a conversation we should try to have again because a theory that ties the two sides together needs to be developed. While I have been able to comfortably say that I like to become my female persona every so often I know I am attracted solely to women, its impossibly difficult to convince those around us of that since we can't make the explanation ourselves. And this hit home for me only two weeks ago as my girlfriend found out that I crossdressed from a website on my computer. And while she doesn't yet know close to the whole story, I can all ready see her struggling with this concept that I am in love with her and only her but I also like to spend time as a girl sometimes. And I can understand why she is struggling with this because I haven't been able to give her a reason that should make those two aspects of me synergistic with one another. Instead, shes probably going through what I went through 4 years ago which was hw can I like to feel like a girl from time to time and then tell her that I am 100% straight. So I'm hoping we put a renewed effort into trying to gain some understanding, at the very least so I can make the discussion between my girlfriend and I more coherant to have. Sorry for typing so much out. I appreciate all that you do here Hope.
joanjo from Herts. U.K. on February 10, 2010:
Hi Hope, I shall keep this simple as a lot of in depth discussion has already taken place and which I find rather deep. I'm married,straight,have a lovely daughter etc BUT I JUST LOVE TO DRESS IN ALL MY FEM CLOTHES, this includes underwear,stockings,dress,shoes and wig.Also when I get the time and space I like to try make up.I also have an fem name.Joan. I mostly wear knickers each day under work clothes, however although I have a strong feminine side I also enjoy my male self.I suppose both aspects make me feel a whole person.
I am impressed and encouraged by the answers on this thread. I am a male in my mid 30s, I went through periods when I was younger of cross-dressing, which at first was trying on dresses and make-up at home on my own from when I was about 11, then in my 20s I went to cross-dressing meetings at people's homes sometimes, where one was encouraged to develop a female persona, with a female name etc - this was at the UK's Beaumont Society [I recall the president of the body once on a radio interview, saying society is not ready to accept a man in a dress, but if he makes a reasonable effort and presents as a female, I find that they are -- I think he was perhaps slightly optimistic in the latter part of that comment, but I think it is an interesting one that helps illustrate the issue]. I enjoyed that sometimes, but also sometimes went on to experiment with deliberately androgynous looks at certain nightclubs etc and was confused as to whether I really wanted to me male or female, or something else. I liked to try to look pretty and to wear sensual clothing and to express a softer and more emotional side to me. Later on I stopped the role-playing aspect and tried to be more boldly androgynous in some of my presentation choices as a man sometimes (ear rings and nail polish etc, I liked blue and silver ones). For a few years I have not done that either, partly for reasons of a tragedy in my personal life that made me less confident. Anyway, to resume, I think there is nothing wrong with the adopting a female persona thing, which can be a fun way of exploring a different side to your personality, and giving yourself "permission" to go to an extreme in exploring those emotions and behaviours not seen as traditionally masculine [and in my
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