Men In Tight Bondage

Men In Tight Bondage
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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There’s something undeniably arousing about being tied up or tying a partner up in the bedroom. Not only does it change the power structure, facilitating elements of domination and submission, but it also evokes powerful emotions. There’s an immense amount of vulnerability and trust required when sexually bound. These reasons (among others) help to explain why so many people fantasize about BDSM (remember, the B stands for “bondage”). In fact, a 93% of men and 96% of women have fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before.
So what are the best ways to use bondage during sex? If you’re someone who’s curious about bondage sex positions, you might have come across Shibari , a contemporary form of rope bondage that originated in Japan. (Sometimes, it’s also called Kinbaku or Japanese bondage.)
“Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona , a Shibari artist and instructor; some people use it as a form of meditation or as a tool to feel intimate with a partner. However, Shibari can be sexual if you so choose. You can tie your partner up, and the two of you can go at it for hours in various positions. This piece is focused on all the fun, kinky sex you can have when either you or your partner is bound.
But before we continue, safety first! If you’ve never attempted Shibari, consider taking a course or one-on-one class with a professional , because tying someone up can be incredibly dangerous both physically and emotionally. And there are certain things you should never do—like use rope across the neck. This can lead to asphyxiation.
“The number one rule for tying safely is to ALWAYS have safety shears within reaching distance,” Sydona says. “The second is to be able to communicate to your partner well, both as both a top [person doing the tying] and bottom [person being tied]. Being able to communicate explicitly and coherently before, during, and after a session is what keeps it as safe and enjoyable as possible.”
With that said, here are 13 bondage sex positions you can try out with your partner. (You’ll notice the first two “positions” are actually two different types of standard Shibari ties that will allow you to complete every other position on the list.) In addition to speaking with Sydona, we also talked to world-renown, Shibari expert Midori . She's a sexologist, educator, and author of Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . (Midori offers Shibari classes , if you want to learn more advanced knots than the ones offered on this list.)
All you really need to be able to bring bondage to the bedroom is a simple handcuff-style tie, Syonda says. "This is called a 'double column' tie—two loops around two 'columns' (usually two limbs) that doesn’t collapse or self tighten."
"In any tie, but particularly with ties involving the wrists, it’s important to make sure you have plenty of wiggle room between the skin and the rope, and that the tie can’t tighten down on itself," she says. "A tie that does this is both uncomfortable and unsafe and can potentially cause loss of circulation or nerve damage."
To actually complete the double column tie, place your "wrists a couple of inches apart, and then wrap around both wrists," Midori says. "Cross at the middle and wrap around the space between the wrists and then tie two overhand knots." (I know this can be a little confusing without a depiction, so check out this 2-minute tutorial on how to to do a double column tie.) Once you've mastered the double-column wrist tie, you can get creative with it!
"This is a Shibari classic with vast variations," Midori says. "For a super simple way to start, use one or two long ropes, perhaps 25 to 30 feet. Then tie their wrists together behind their back. Use the remaining rope and wrap that around the arms and body. First below the breasts or pecs, then over it. If you connect the check ropes between the arm and torso, you’ll be able to snug it down tightly."
You can play in numerous positions with this one. "It's great for full frontal access to nipples and genitals," Midori says. "It's super hot for face-down anal, too."
"Position your partner on their knees with their behind in the air and chest flat on the bed, floor, couch, etc.," Sydona says. "Pull their arms back and tie their wrists together behind their thighs to their ankles. If this is too tough on their neck, put a pillow under their chest."
While the image here is depicting oral stimulation, you can also do anal and vaginal penetration in this position.
"Bend their legs and tie the thigh and ankle together with an easy release two column tie; then repeat for the other leg," Midori says. It's optional to tie the wrists to the thighs, Midori adds. (That's what's depicted in the image.)
This position allows for "sexy vulnerability" and "access to all the bits" making it great for both giving and receiving oral pleasure. It's also really smooth to transition into bound doggy from this position.
In this position, the bottom's ankles are tied to a pole—make sure to use something that won't give anyone splinters—a PVC pipe could work here or even a long Swiffer handle. The bottom's wrists are tied together.
Midori notes that you feel "delightfully exposed" in this position, and it's "fantastic for bound penetration from behind."
Have your partner lie on their stomach for the hogtie. "Tie their ankles together and their wrists behind their back, then tie those to each other," Sydona says.
"While this isn’t a great position for penetration, it’s great for oral and sets the mood for a BDSM-type session. Don’t forget that this position can be very strenuous on your partner’s back and shoulders, so make sure you have a quick exit plan and check in often."
Lay on one side, and "Tie wrists together with a basic wrist tie. Tie the left ankle to the right thigh, using the same tie as the wrists. Then tie the left thigh to the left upper arm bicep. Make sure it’s not too tight," Midori says. "The body looks amazing in this position and it's hot for spooning sex from behind."
Have your partner sit in a chair and tie their ankles to each chair leg and their wrists behind their back. "This position is great for oral, using toys, or for a good ol’ fashioned interrogation role play," Sydona says. "Pro tip: make sure the back of the chair is against a wall or something stable, so you don’t accidentally push your partner over backward in the heat of the moment."
"Have your partner straddle a chair so their booty is just barely off the edge of the seat and rest their chest on the seat's back," Sydona says. "Tie their ankles to the legs of the chair and their wrists behind their back. This position is great for anal play."
(Note: For this position to work, you need to use a chair without arms. You also want to lean the chair against a wall or bed; you don't want the chair toppling over!)
"Have your partner lie flat on their back on a bed and tie their wrists and ankles to each corner," Sydona says. "For extra spice add a blindfold, and go to town. If you or your partner are new to bedroom bondage this is a great starting position. It's simple to tie, not particularly strenuous, and you can even buy user-friendly under-the-bed restraints if rope isn’t your style."
"Again have your partner lie flat on their back on the bed. Tie each ankle to each corner at the top of the bed, lifting their leg as high as is comfortable for them," Sydona says. "If this is too difficult, tie their thighs instead of their ankles, so they can bend their knees. This position is great for, well, everything."
"With your lover on their back, place a pole under their ankle, just above their heels," Midori says. "Tie each wrist and ankles to the pole, and [make sure to] tie loose enough for wriggle room and to prevent loss of circulation."
This position grants full access penetration to all the orifices, Midori adds.
The Group Project is a rope bondage position for when three people are involved . "Have your partners stand face-to-face with their arms around each other. Tie both partners’ wrists in a classic handcuff tie behind the back of the other," Sydona says.
"From here, you can take a voyeuristic role and watch an inevitable steamy makeout session, or alternate teasing each partner while the other watches at a very close range."

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Savage Love

Feb 3, 2020 at 12:15 pm

He Wants to Experience Inescapable Bondage At Least Once Before He Dies

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Dan Savage

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I’m writing to you today because I still think about it all the time and I joined Recon to talk to see if someone would want to tie me up. One of the guys recommended I listen to you. In a video about kink discordance you said kink is sexual. So my question for you is this: Is my desire to be tied up sexual? If so, would be getting tied by anybody other than my wife be a sexual experience?"
I have been tying myself up since I was seven and I stopped before I turned 40 because I was tired of being able to escape and the whole thing had become a bore. But I began searching for someone that would tie me up so that I couldn’t escape. Now I am 50 and I want to be a man of integrity in my relationship with my wife and I am not sure of the best way to move forward.
P.S. I've gotten two kinds of answers from guys on Recon. The first is that unless I tell my wife everything I have no integrity whatsoever. The second is that life is too short and I need to stop overthinking this. But I'm worried about whether this would be cheating. My self-bondage sessions always ended with masturbation. Even now I feel aroused just thinking of bondage. It's very possible I would get hard if somebody else tied me up but I do know that it would have nothing to do with them.
Life is short, BOUND, you're going to be dead one day soon ( we all are ), and you're going to stay dead for a very long time. So go get your ass tied up, dude. And even if you should get sexually aroused during a bondage scene with another man—as you almost certainly will—your wife isn't interested in having sex with you or tying your ass up. So you wouldn't be cheating your wife out of anything she wants, BOUND, which means it wouldn't really be cheating at all.
But in answer to your question: If you tie yourself up and your dick gets hard and then you jack off, your kink is definitely sexual. While most people prefer to indulge their kinks with others they're attracted to sexually, sometimes the kink works—turns them on—all by itself. Which is why there are lots of straight bondage guys into bondage who play with gay men. They're not doing it the gaiety of it, they're not in it for the dick, they're in it (ropes, cuffs, straight jackets, etc.) just there for the bondage of it. (And freeness of it.) So, yeah, I promise you, BOUND, you're not the only straight guy on Recon looking to get tied up.
And there's an easy way to avoid being judged because your wife doesn't know you're getting tied up by other dudes and then having to explain to strangers that you're seeking bondage play outside your marriage because your wife isn't interested in your kink and then having to explain that your activities with men present zero risk to your wife because you don't have oral or anal sex with the men you get tied up by and even if you were sucking their dicks of letting them fuck you—which you aren't—it wouldn't put your wife at risk because your marriage is sexless... and that's by not bringing up your wife at all. A casual bondage play partner you meet for a one-off doesn't need to know you're married, BOUND; so long as you're not presenting yourself as single and interested in romance in addition to bondage—so long as you're making it clear you're only interested in a discreet/discrete bondage scene and nothing else—you're under no obligation to disclose the existence of your wife.
But if you want to be a man of integrity... you should inform your wife that you're seeking bondage, just bondage, outside the relationship. Not sex, not romance, just bondage—and to ensure it's just bondage, you're going to play with men. Then ask her how she'd like to handle it: full and complete disclosure or DADT?
P.S. Did your wife know about your interest in bondage before you pulled that rope out of your bag on your honeymoon? If so, well, okay then. If not, BOUND, that's a hell of thing to spring on someone during a honeymoon.
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From Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository
suspension bondage (en); bondage de suspension (fr); 悬挂束缚 (zh); hangbondage (nl) rope bondage in which the rope bottom is suspended in the air (en)
rope bondage in which the rope bottom is suspended in the air

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