Men Close Eyes During Orgasm

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By Tracey Cox 08:53 BST 22 Jan 2013 , updated 11:34 BST 22 Jan 2013
Tracey Cox is the UK's leading expert and author on sex and relationship issue. With an academic background in psychology, 14 books on sex, relationships and body language under her belt and a television career spanning decades, she is more than well equipped to answer your dilemmas.
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What part of the female body do men look at most during sex?
Breasts, bottom or other parts, right?
Studies show the part of our anatomy that men focus on most when watching women have sex, isn’t our ‘naughty bits’.
Most men - justifiably - believe our facial expression provides the best possible indicator of whether or not we’re faking orgasm.
Our ‘orgasm face’ is something our parents rarely talked (or indeed thought) about, but it’s now a widely accepted term and topic.
When you think about it, we’ve been watching people’s ‘orgasm’ faces in the movies for years.
The camera invariably hones in at the crucial moment to find a head thrown back in ecstasy, hair artfully arranged, a bead or two of sweat becomingly placed.
Porn has orgasm faces aplenty - except, just like the Hollywood versions, they’re not remotely real.
I was privy to seeing the real thing in vivid detail when I did The Sex Inspectors, which involved watching video footage of real couples having sex, then analyzing where it was all going horribly wrong.
I can therefore report back that most people’s facial expression at the point of orgasm isn’t anything like the movies or porn suggest.
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It is, I’m afraid, a bit like what most of us fear.
Most people look red in the face, sweaty (and not in a good way), our faces contorted and scrunched up in an unflattering fashion, mouths often open in a kind of roar (that’ll be the blokes).
Then there are the strange noises people make, let alone things they say.
So we’re fairly safe in the common assumption that our own orgasm face may not be too pretty.
Sex isn’t about looking pretty. It’s about lust and passion which are raw, primitive emotions.
Quite frankly, if I was sleeping with someone whose face remained terribly composed at the point of climax, I’d be a bit miffed!
Far sexier to look out of control and like you don’t care what you look like!
It's also intimate to keep your eyes open and trained on each other.
David M. Schnarch - a highly respected U.S. couples’ counsellor and author - is a huge fan of ‘eyes open orgasms’ saying it strikes him as absurd that we’d want to close our eyes at such an intimate moment.
I’ve given it as ‘homework’ to couples I’ve worked with and while all struggled to begin with to keep their eyes open, saying they felt embarrassed and self-conscious, those who kept going, said it turned out to be one of the most erotic and loving moments they’d experienced.
Some people swear by it, others can’t do it without laughing.
I think it depends a lot on your personalities and is a bit like yoga: it inspires a love or hate reaction.
Worth giving a go though…unless of course, you have something to hide.
Because men are right: our faces are a brilliant indicator of whether our orgasms are real or not!
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Why men LOVE our orgasm face: Sexpert Tracey Cox explains how they know we are faking and gives top tips on how to perfect yours
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What Does it REALLY Mean When He Closes His Eyes During Sex?
He closes his eyes in order to get to the “finish line”.
If you are like a lot of women, you might wonder if he closes his eyes during sex because he’s retreating into some vivid fantasy world.
It’s easy to wonder, is he thinking about another woman while he’s in bed with you?
I’m happy to tell you that his closing his eyes during sex really has nothing to do with escaping from the moment with you and everything to do with actually enjoying the intense sensations happening.
For most guys, they put a certain amount of mental effort toward holding BACK on climaxing during sex.
They want to last longer, to please you more, and not race to the finish.
So when they actually do shift gears into allowing their orgasm to happen, the physical sensations are powerful. Closing his eyes allows him to fully tune in to what is happening pleasure-wise in his body.
It was explained to me in this way: When you take away one of the five senses, it makes the other senses and sensations stronger and more vivid.
When I surveyed my Man Panel when writing The Language of Desire (and the sexy secondary product, The Sensual Tsunami) about what male orgasm feels like, they set me straight.
“It’s like a slow-building roller coaster that takes a very sharp incline almost straight up before you rocket straight back down. And you get this amazing feeling in your stomach right before you climax and then for the next 10-15 seconds the floor drops out and you are drifting in bliss. Then you come back to reality.”
With that kind of intensity, he isn’t even keeping track of what his eyes are doing!
You can also think about it like kissing.
We close our eyes when we kiss not because we want to disconnect from the moment but because it actually draws our awareness closer to what is taking place physically. Except when it comes to orgasm, it’s about a million times more physical fireworks.
Sure, it’s possible he’s mentally fantasizing about making love to a Victoria’s Secret model while he’s in bed with you.
Just like sometimes you might close your eyes and think about Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington…or whoever floats the little man in your boat. Fantasizing in that manner isn’t a bad thing.
It’s totally normal and most people (both men and women) close their eyes and fantasize in bed, on occasion.
And fantasy doesn’t damage your relationship when it’s something that happens once in awhile, especially when it includes a celebrity or someone you aren’t ever actually going to even meet… let alone get naked with.
If you’ve ever been in bed with a man and had him close his eyes and seem to “go somewhere else” you have to go watch my video right away…
This short little video reveals even more about the truth about what men are thinking about when they’re in bed with a woman (when they SHOULD be focused 100% mind, body and soul on you)…
In it, I teach you EXACTLY what to say and do to get him to SNAP back to you like a rubber band… look you right in the eye… and feel an incredible level of connection between you that you simply never thought was possible before… See it here now.
Are a few minutes of your day worth attracting love?
Felicity is the author of the bestselling, smash hit program, The Language of Desire.
Candid and sincere, Felicity Keith dishes advice about sex, dating, and relationships with humor and healthy how-to’s. Her work has influenced thousands of women and she is a regular contributor at Digital Romance, Inc.
Dubbed a “suburban Carrie Bradshaw”, she spent years in the dating trenches making every mistake possible… until she finally wised up. In the process, her observations about the inner workings of the male mind resulted in a love-life 180. Now she teaches women how to unleash their inner vixen on their terms and enjoy the love they deserve.
4 thoughts on “What Does it REALLY Mean When He Closes His Eyes During Sex?”
Great article. Realised that I also close my eyes during the act. It has nothing to do with cheating and everything to do with intense feelings.
It means your ugly naked, and look better with your clothes on. The sex is only to please him.
It either means he is not attracted to you or he could be autistic. Autistic people tend to have trouble making eye contact.
His ex girlfriend or girlfriend tells me he tells her she better than me and I’m a big fat nasty ass sweathog
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