Megacorp Replaces Humans With ChatGPT, Employees Report 'Eerie Similarity'

In a move that shocked exactly no one, OmniGlobal Corporation has replaced its entire workforce with ChatGPT instances, citing "increased efficiency and decreased snack theft." The transition was seamless since, as one executive noted, "The AI uses the same empty corporate buzzwords but without expecting healthcare." Remaining employees were given the option to train their replacements, with bonus pay for teaching the bots to "sound authentically burnt out." Early results show the AI workforce outperforms humans in key metrics like generating meaningless reports (300% faster) and pretending to care about synergies (24/7). The only hiccup? The accounting department bot developed a gambling addiction after processing too many expense reports. Meanwhile, laid-off workers have formed support groups where they practice answering "So what do you do?" without crying.