Meeting Swingers
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Finding a partner for love or sex has never been easier, thanks to all the different dating websites out there today. What if you want to find multiple partners, though?
As it turns out, that can be fairly easy, too — if you know where to look. Below, we’ve assembled some of the best sites for helping swingers find adventurous partners near them.
You may not find love on any of these swinger sites — or you might find a lot of love.
AdultFriendFinder is one of the biggest sex sites on the internet, and that’s the only reason anyone signs up: to find partners for getting laid.
The user base tends to be extremely open-minded , so they can easily be persuaded to try non-monogamy if the right opportunity comes along.
That being said, they do attract quite a few swingers or people open to swinging.
There are a lot of bots and spammers to weed through, but that’s easy enough to do. They offer a free membership, but the paid version is much better (and very affordable).
It may take some time to find your unicorn, but at least you’re not likely to run out of choices.
SDC is a great choice for experienced swingers and newbies alike. Not only is it an active, swingers-only community, it has plenty of information about how to get the most out of the lifestyle.
You do have to pay to access the site, but there’s a weeklong free trial.
The registration process is a bit involved, but that’s a good thing, as it weeds out anyone who isn’t serious about finding swinging partners .
Contacting other members is a bit difficult as well. You have to pay for a membership to talk to anyone, and your ability to reach out depends on their contact settings.
Geared towards casual sex in general, SwapFinder is a huge social networking site for those in the swinger lifestyle.
Rather than being a pure meet-and-greet site, it functions more like a sexual Facebook ; members post pics, stories, and videos about their sex lives in order to attract like-minded individuals.
As a result, the connections made here tend to be deeper, and it’s great for finding an ongoing thing rather than a one-off. You can still stay anonymous, as you’ll rely on usernames instead of any identifying information.
They don’t have an app, though, and the mobile experience is less than ideal. You’ll need a desktop (and a paid subscription) to get the most out of SwapFinder.
SwingLifeStyle is the oldest website dedicated to the lifestyle on the internet, and it’s built up a small but dedicated user base.
It’s primarily geared towards in-person meetups in clubs , so it’s not ideal for anyone looking to find a one-on-one connection. However, if you want to find a large event or an enthusiastic community, it’s definitely the place to be.
If you live in an area where other swingers are hard to come by, it also makes it easy to network and form your own groups.
The user base tends to skew older, but it is mainly couples, so you don’t have to worry about a bunch of sketchy single men.
One of the few free swingers sites that’s actually worth your time, Reddit Swingers R4R is a great way to find real partners in your area.
This particular subreddit is purely dedicated to the swinger lifestyle, so you don’t have to worry about any other close-but-no-cigar options. They also limit how many times you post per day , drastically cutting down on spammers.
You also can’t sell anything like your cam site or OnlyFans account, but they do allow for nano tipping to encourage higher-quality posts.
The pickings are kind of slim, though, so you’ll need to check back frequently to find potential partners. They’re also rigorous about enforcing their rules, so it’s easy to run afoul of the moderators.
As the name suggests, Fetlife is a fetish-themed website.
Swinging is definitely a kink, so you can hook up with like-minded users on here. However, expect your partners to want more than just a swinging experience, so you may need to be into BDSM or other fetishes as well .
It’s free to join, and you can get a lot of mileage out of a free membership, but you can also make donations for additional privileges.
It functions like a social networking website, so you can add friends and follow people who seem like potential partners.
Unfortunately, the signup process isn’t especially strict, so you’ll have to deal with a lot of fakes before you find a unicorn.
Seeking is unlike any other swinger dating site on this list, in that it’s a place for sugar daddies to meet sugar babies. It’s the best way to find a sure thing .
Whether you’re a single man or a couple, you can find a beautiful woman who’s into whatever you’re into — for a price, of course. Some may balk at group action, though.
These can be one-offs, but for the most part the relationships you make on this site will be long-lasting. If you’re an attractive young lady, you can have fun and make a little spending money doing it.
The profiles are all strictly verified, making it very unlikely you’ll run into fakes, bots, or scammers.
Alt.com tries to be everything to everyone, sexually speaking, so you’ll find greater variety here than just about anywhere else . The flip side, of course, is that if you’re looking for one thing in particular, it’s harder to find on this site than others.
The site has a huge user base, many of whom would be interested in swinging — but there are very few dedicated swingers on here. There are a ton of fakes and single dudes, though.
You can provide a ton of information on your profile, allowing you to make it clear exactly what you’re looking for. They also have a “bling” system that lets others reward you for being especially kinky.
Kasidie is an erotic social networking site that actually seems to care about its members. It encourages friendship and camaraderie in addition to sexual meetups.
They definitely make a strong effort to vet their members. You have to take a personality test before joining, and they have certified member badges to weed out fakes.
It’s one of the few swingers dating sites with more couples and single women than lone men, and they have a good mix of online and in-person events.
The membership is limited, though, and you’ll have to pay to do anything worth doing on the site.
Ashley Madison might not be the first thing you think of when you think of a swinger dating site, as it’s designed for people stepping out on their marriages — and most swinging relationships involve consent from both parties.
If you’re willing to take on a little risk, though, you can find people who are looking for the wildest, most adventurous sex possible.
It’s especially good for finding a female unicorn. There are plenty of women in their late 30s and 40s who want to get crazy without losing their marriages in the process.
As you might expect, discretion is at a premium on Ashley Madison, making it a good choice for anyone who doesn’t want to advertise their involvement in the lifestyle.
These days, just about everyone is on Tinder, giving you nearly unlimited options.
Of course, most people aren’t there to find swingers, so there will be a lot of trial-and-error involved. If you’re up-front about what you want, though, you can find like-minded individuals.
Most of the available people on Tinder will be more attractive than you’ll find elsewhere, and you should be able to find someone in just about any decent-sized city.
Be aware, though: there are so many people on the site that it’s fairly likely you’ll get recognized by someone you know.
Thanks to the internet, finding partners to swing with is easier than ever. That doesn’t mean there aren’t pitfalls to be wary of, though.
In assembling this list, we aimed to avoid the most common issues people run into when looking to find partners online. Specifically, we chose the best swinger dating sites based on the following factors:
Remember, though, that these rankings are not gospel. If you find that a lower-ranked site works better for you than those listed above it, then by all means continue to use that site.
There are a ton of different reasons why a happy couple would choose to swing, but here are a few of the most common:
That usually depends on what condition the relationship was in beforehand. If both partners are interested in exploring the lifestyle and approach the swinger lifestyle with trust and respect, it can deepen the bond between them.
However, if the relationship is on rocky ground to begin with, swinging could be the final nail in the coffin.
Soft swinging is basically everything except penetration with someone other than your partner. It can also mean having sex with your partner in the same room with others.
Hard swinging (or full swap) means going all the way with someone (or multiple someones) other than your spouse.
Typically, it’s recommended that couples start with soft swinging and gradually move to hard swinging.
Yes. The golden rule is to get consent before you do anything — failure to do so will quickly get you banned from clubs and avoided by couples (if not arrested).
Beyond that, most couples make their own rules. That’s why getting consent beforehand is so important — you don’t know what someone is into until you ask.
Most other rules are pretty common-sense. They include not revealing the fact that other people are in the lifestyle, using protection, getting tested for STIs, and never pushing anyone’s boundaries.
People get into swinger dating in different ways. Sometimes they befriend a couple and things naturally progress from there.
There are also swingers clubs in many cities that are very welcoming to newcomers.
Nowadays, many people use the internet to find partners . You can use dedicated swinger websites, apps like Tinder, or just regular social media. The only limit is your imagination (and courage).
Regardless of whether you’re an experienced swinger or just looking to dip your toe into the lifestyle, the sites on this list will help connect you with all the partners you could hope for.
Some of these sites are specifically geared towards swingers, while others will require a little more effort to find the right person or couple for you. If you’re willing to put in a little bit of work, though, you have a great shot at taking your relationship to the next level .
If nothing else, you can have a lot of fun — and isn’t that what swinging’s all about?
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8/9/18
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A group of swingers have given a rare and honest insight into the inner workings of the taboo lifestyle, revealing the truth behind people’s common misconceptions.
The Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s “You Can’t Ask That” features different groups of Australians and asks them questions that people want to know the answer to but wouldn’t bring up in a regular situation.
Some of the past participants include former cult members, drag queens, transgender people, strippers and, in the latest episode, swingers.
The participants start off by addressing some of the myths around swinging and swingers parties.
There’s a common misconception that at these parties partners get chosen by everyone putting their car keys in a bowl. Whoever’s keys you pick out is then your partner for the night.
But according to the participants, this rarely, if ever, happens. More often than not partners are chosen on a preferential basis.
“I would much rather have sex with a couple that we have talked with over drinks for an hour than be forced into a bedroom with another person,” Sally from Melbourne said.
Megan, a single woman who is involved in the Brisbane swinger scene, said: “That would terrify me because you don’t really have a choice about who you’re going home with or who you’re hooking up with.”
Megan is known as a “unicorn” in the swinging community because of her single status and said that a lot of couples often look to incorporate another woman in their sex lives.
She said that many people believe women are forced into the swinging scene by their husbands or boyfriends and that the community is just full of “sleazy, old, fat men.”
“The thing is that can be true sometimes because all types of people like to swing,” Megan said. “(It’s) people wanting to explore their sexuality with each other in a couple situation.”
For the people being interviewed the decision to get into swinging was very much a mutual decision between both partners.
Husband and wife Andrew and Sally first got into the scene shortly after their engagement.
“I was only 18 when I met Andrew. He was pretty much one of my first sexual partners,” Sally said.
“As the wedding date slowly crept up on us, I sort of felt the pressure of, ‘I haven’t had any other sexual experiences, I haven’t played with anyone else.’”
She said it was a co-worker that first suggested that just because they were getting married didn’t mean they had to be monogamous.
The couple now regularly attend swingers events together, naming “jelly wrestling” and “the raw lust of it” as some of the most exciting aspects.
Interviewees answered a range of questions like “What are the best sex tips you have learned?” and “What is it like to lose your swinging virginity?” but one of the big ones asked was what it was like to see their partner with someone else.
Jess from Sydney said jealousy is definitely a factor, particularly in the beginning.
“I’m not going to say I don’t get jealous, especially in the early days … because, you know, I compared myself to that girl and I was like, ‘How did she do that?’” she said.
“(But) I think just being able to communicate that with Lawrence has taught me … I don’t have to be jealous. I can just appreciate and love him and love her for what they’re doing. And do it better sometimes.”
Most of the couples agreed that communication between couples was key and a lot of the time seeing their partner with someone else was part of the thrill.
All of the interviewees were very forthcoming with information and the episode didn’t really leave much to the imagination.
While some viewers praised the show as “wonderfully honest” and “very eye-opening,” others weren’t so impressed.
“While I’m cool with people enjoying whatever they like, I actually felt like I was tricked into listening to porn without my consent,” one person wrote on social media.
“Bit ironic really when they were talking up the understanding of consent within the swinging community.”
Another said, “Now I am very broad minded but that needed some serious warnings before it was on. Bit OTT. Love the concept in the right situation.”
“Bit verbally graphic for 9 pm my adult kids. Walked out! … not a prude just saying,” one person wrote.
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