Meaning Of Sex Dreams
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Meaning Of Sex Dreams
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National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. (2019, August 13). Brain basics: Understanding sleep. Retrieved on May 15, 2021, from
https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/patient-caregiver-education/understanding-sleep
Eiser, A. S. (2005). Physiology and psychology of dreams. Seminars in Neurology, 25(1), 97–105.
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Purves, D., Augustine, G. J., Fitzpatrick, D., et al., editors. (2001). Neuroscience. 2nd edition. Sunderland (MA): Sinauer Associates.
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Scarpelli, S., Bartolacci, C., D'Atri, A., Gorgoni, M., & De Gennaro, L. (2019). Mental sleep activity and disturbing dreams in the lifespan. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16(19), 3658.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31569467/
Shao, X., Wang, C., Jia, Y., & Wang, W. (2020). Sexual dream and family relationships in frequent sexual dreamers and healthy volunteers. Medicine, 99(36), e21981.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32899040/
Kahn, D., Stickgold, R., Pace-Schott, E. F., & Hobson, J. A. (2000). Dreaming and waking consciousness: A character recognition study. Journal of Sleep Research, 9(4), 317–325.
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Zhang, W., & Guo, B. (2018). Freud's dream interpretation: A different perspective based on the self-organization theory of dreaming. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1553.
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Coutts, R. (2015). Variation in the frequency of relationship characters in the dream reports of singles: A survey of 15,657 visitors to an online dating website. Comprehensive Psychology, 4, 09.CP.4.22.
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Clarke, J., DeCicco, T. L., & Navara, G. (2010). An investigation among dreams with sexual imagery, romantic jealousy and relationship satisfaction. International Journal of Dream Research, 3(1), 54–59.
https://journals.ub.uni-heidelberg.de/index.php/IJoDR/article/view/472
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Dreams have long been the center of psychological study and fascination. Dreams can be soothing, comforting, frightening, or confusing. They can also affect your sleep .
We spend an average of two hours 1 a night dreaming but very rarely remember the dreams that we have. While most dreams occur during the rapid eye movement 2 (REM) sleep stage, they can occur during any stage 3 of the sleep cycle.
While adults dream fairly frequently, not everyone experiences sex dreams. Scienctific research stops short of exploring specific sex dreams, but many therapists and psychologists have their own theories about the meaning of sex dreams.
Although the neurological aspects of dreams are fairly well-researched, less research has been conducted to explore the content and meaning of various types of dreams. That said, there are many theories about the role dreams play in the human psyche. Some theorists believe that dreams allow us to act out potential scenarios 4 or help our brain map and store memories. Other researchers suggest that dreams are a way to cope with traumatic or stressful events 5 .
Sex dreams are considered normal. They are also quite common. More than 70% of people report experiencing a sex dream 6 at least once in their life. Even if the content of the dream is unnerving — for example, a dream of sleeping with your boss or cheating on your partner — it doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong. In fact, most people dream of those that they recognize 7 , so it is normal to have dreams about people you interact with frequently.
Unfortunately, there’s limited research on what sex dreams mean. Dream meaning can be difficult to study because dreams are subjective to the person experiencing them, and they are not always easy to remember upon waking.
Psychologists and researchers have theorized about sex dreams since Sigmund Freud in the early 19th century. Freud believed that dreams were the conscious and subconscious 8 parts of the mind organizing themselves during sleep. While there is no clear answers on what sex dreams mean, there are a few common theories.
Although everyone experiences dreaming differently, there are a few themes that are commonly present in sex dreams.
It is common for those who are in a relationship to dream about current or former partners 9 . These types of dreams may be part of processing a current relationship or grieving a past one. Single people who are seeking a relationship are less likely to dream of people they have dated.
Dreaming about sex with a stranger may simply be a sign of a healthy libido and normal sexual arousal. If you or a partner dreams of sleeping with a stranger, it is not necessarily indicative of cheating or a desire to cheat.
While dreams that include infidelity may not be a direct reflection of your waking life, they could correspond to feelings of jealousy or a lack of intimacy 10 in your current relationship. It may be helpful to discuss potential concerns with your partner.
Whether you dream of your professor or your boss, a sex dream about a person in authority over you may indicate that you are seeking approval from someone in charge.
Analyzing your dreams can offer insight into your everyday life. Journaling about your dreams may help you recognize patterns and process different emotions.
Danielle writes in-depth articles about sleep solutions and holds a psychology degree from the University of British Columbia.
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Dr. Wright, M.D., is an Anatomic and Clinical Pathologist with a focus on hematopathology. She has a decade of experience in the study of disease.
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Sex dreams are totally normal and usually symbolic. No matter what happened in your dream, you don't need to feel ashamed or guilty. Most people have sex dreams—in fact, up to 70% of people report that they'd had one. A sex dream is simply a sign of your brain working through all your thoughts. [1]
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For example, if you dream of an act you find taboo, you might just crave the freedom associated with it.
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Sex dreams might reveal emotions you’re trying to work through. Frequently, dreams about sex connect to feelings that aren't related to lust. For example, if you’ve struggled to feel connected to your partner, you may fantasize about infidelity. Your dreams offer important insight about your psychological well being and help you reflect on it. [2]
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Your sex dreams may highlight your wishes or your needs. Sex dreams can also be vivid representations of what you feel is missing in your life or what you’re really craving. You might even picture a tryst with an authority figure if you want to be respected in your field. Interpreting sex dreams can be a great practice for realizing what would make you happier. [3]
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You may have a sex dream about someone if you admire them. If you experience a lot of emotional intimacy with someone or if you highly respect them, then it’s natural you’ll think about them a lot. They may even show up in one of your sex dreams, but it’s usually just a sign that you want someone to look up to. [4]
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A sex dream may hint at a resolution to an issue in your life. If you need an answer to a question, sex dreams may be a subconscious way of giving yourself a "wake up" call. For instance, if you have recurrent fantasies about being in control, then you may need to focus on self-empowerment or speaking up for yourself. [5]
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Dreaming of sex with a stranger may point to your high libido. If you have a strong sex drive then you may picture a random person while you’re in a state of physical arousal. Typically, it doesn’t mean you want casual sex or to step outside a relationship. It usually just suggests you want a sexual outlet. [6]
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What to do:
Find another outlet to pour your energy and passion into. For example, throw yourself into a sport or a hobby.
Consider how to get your physical needs met. You may wish to exercise, begin dating, or try out casual encounters.
Communicate with your partner about how much frequency you'd like in your sex life. Work on acknowledging each other's preferences.
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Fantasies about an ex may hint you miss your past relationship. Either you don’t feel closure or there’s an element from your former partnership that you crave. For example, you may feel that there’s less adventure in your love life. Any dreams about your ex bring attention to what you think you lack access to. [7]
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What to do :
Reflect on whether you received closure. Do you feel like you've totally moved on, or do you still pine for your ex?
Write down what you miss from your previous relationship. For example, "We used to go on spontaneous trips and travel a lot."
Bring up what you'd like to add to your love life now. You might tell your partner, "Can we prioritize quality time with each other?"
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Dreaming of specific sex acts may mean you'd like to experiment. If you picture a certain sex act that isn’t a normal part of your love life—for example, oral sex—then you might be either curious or shy. Your fantasy gives you a chance to open a dialogue about trying new activities with your partner. [8]
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What to do :
Reflect on why you find an act taboo or shocking. Maybe your peers made jokes about it or a former partner never wanted to try it.
If you're very excited by the dream, share your thoughts with your partner. Negotiate your boundaries and discuss your desires with each other.
If you find yourself curious about the sex act, read up on it and learn from the experiences of other people.
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Sex dreams about BDSM can suggest you crave surrender or control. Pay attention to whether you’re bound or if you’re giving orders. To determine what you’re searching for, ask yourself—do you feel stressed and like you want to let go, or would you like extra power? [9]
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What to do :
Consider where you feel powerless in your life. For example, you may feel overwhelmed
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