Mean Blowjobs

Mean Blowjobs
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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"Like someone is pulling the life force out of you, but in such a good way."
Have you ever wondered what a blowjob feels like? If you've never experienced one, we get why you're curious. The tricky thing is, getting a blowjob is one of those physical sensations that’s difficult to describe with words. And how one person experiences a BJ isn’t necessarily how another person with a penis does. But we'll do our best.
A blowjob—i.e., when someone stimulates your penis with their mouth—gives you a euphoric physical sensation, but that's just one incredible feeling it produces. There’s also the psychological arousal that comes with seeing your partner, possibly on their knees, taking your most prized possession in their mouth. There’s also an element of trust involved that could bring you two closer. After all, they could theoretically bite down on you—although we hope beyond hope that doesn't happen, ever.
Not everyone loves receiving BJs, though. Some people find the experience awkward, or say they can't orgasm from a blowjob because there isn't enough pressure around their junk. And there's always the issue of teeth getting involved—ouch.
Since the experience of receiving a blowjob varies greatly from person to person, we asked 14 different penis owners to describe what a blowjob feels like to paint the fullest picture possible.
1. “ It feels like when you dip your toes in a warm bath and go “ahh” mixed with the suction of a vacuum.” — Adam, 31
2. “A well-done BJ is an art, an experience, a trip. It takes you to another galaxy. The feeling, oh the feeling, try until you see stars. ” — Álvaro, 30
3. “ A BJ kinda feels like a Slip 'n Slide, the best ones [definitely] have that good suction factor.” — Ben, 21
4. “I don’t really like blowjobs. They never make me cum and the person blowing me always just looks like they’re struggling. It just feels like a slobbery ghost, not tight enough to make the friction required for a nut.” — Sam, 24
5. “It's nice for a little while, but by the end, it only makes me less horny and ends up delaying the climax. ” — Josh, 32
6. “ Like someone is pulling the life force out of you, but in such a good way.” — Sean, 25
7. “ There’s a psychological feeling of being worshipped or taken care of . Your most sensitive parts are being stimulated by one of the wettest and softest parts of a person. It makes you just want to lie back and enjoy it.” — Ray, 28 8. “It makes me feel totally confident and desired. I feel I’m the king of the world. It is the perfect combination of pressure, warmth, and wetness. Between suction, tongue strategy, throat action, tempo, ball play, and prostate stimulation , there’s an awesome variety of sensations available when you or your partner make even the slightest change in approach. Visually, there’s nothing else like it. It is the best show you could possibly watch, and I am completely tuned in for it.” — Jacob, 29 9. “Receiving a *good* blowjob feels like warm, pleasurable sensation running through your body, starting at the head of your dick and rippling out to everywhere else. Because you can do more with a mouth and tongue than a vagina/anus , you can add variety and change those sensations based on your partner’s preference.” — Austin, 25
10. "Most blowjobs aren’t very good if I’m totally honest. People struggle with not scraping their teeth, which is very painful. ” — Michael, 40
11. “Getting a BJ from the right person is insanely hot. If they know how to push your buttons, how to work you and make you squirm, then there's no other feeling like it . Include the control you have as they worship your shaft, balls, and your entire genital area? It's the ultimate turn-on.” — Lee, 32
12. “ Feels like a warm, wet ass but slightly looser with an added sensation of tingling in the head.” — Jordyn, 32
13. “ You know the sensation of jumping in a pool and your whole body is completely submerged in water, and it's a bit of a sensory overload? The same feeling but concentrated only on your dick. And in the best possible way.” — Marcus, 37
14. “That first moment when you feel the warm breath of someone getting close to the head of your dick is mesmerizing. That first wet lick sends vibrations straight down my spine. Then the ecstasy of warm, wet and tightness sends my mind and body into euphoria.” — Shay, 27

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Putting a penis in one's mouth is not as simple an endeavor as one might assume it is. Learning how to give a blowjob is a complicated process that can be a source of anxiety, fear, and unexpectedly deep soul searching. While the person being fellated might not be aware, the person on the other end is being bombarded with a lot of blowjob-related mind garbage. But no one ever talks about these little nagging things that have to do with giving head. It's difficult enough to bring up blowjobs around the water cooler or at a dinner party, so getting into the dirty little details can be tough. Obviously, not so for me, since I'm broaching them right now.
Generally, conversations about blowjobs center around who can deep throat, how easy/difficult it is to get a penis in your mouth hole, and whether or not you should kiss after completion. But there are far more mundane factors at play, and all of them far more important than these racier questions. I don't know why we don't talk more about the minutiae of giving head. What I do know is that there are certain things I can guarantee most women are thinking when we go down on someone. Such universal thoughts deserve to be shared and commiserated over. Here are six things about blowjobs that no one ever talks about, but which I'm forcing you to listen to me talk about right now:
Blowjobs are scary - not because of what happens to you when you're giving them, but what you might inadvertently do to the person you're giving them to. For instance: suddenly, reflexively biting down for some reason. There are a lot of things I'd like to go through life never having experienced. Orally castrating someone is certainly one of them.
I envy anyone who can give a blowjob and retain sexy thoughts in their brain. For most of us, we're just trying not to choke on the chunk of our own hair that keeps slipping into our mouths. We're also thinking about the sweat smell of balls, making eye contact, the giant drip of our own spit smeared across our face, not biting down, etc.
Again, I have much envy for the sucker who has no gag reflex. Because for everyone else, when a penis hits the back of your throat, its all we can do to stop from vomiting. Add "vomiting on someone's penis" to the list of things I would like to go through life without ever doing. It doesn't exactly scream "sexy" - unless you're one of those fetishists I once saw on Jerry Springer (I'm aware that a Jerry Springer reference reveals my age, and I don't even care).
Look, I don't want to brag but, like, I work out. Even still, there's no workout quite like kneeling with no hands for support (one's on the shaft, the other's on the balls) while angling your face downward and bobbing your head up and down. There's no amount of yoga that will prepare your core for the exercise of giving head. It's a full-body experience that requires poise, concentration, balance, and abs and thighs of steel.
No matter how many blowjobs you've given, nothing can prepare you for giving your first one to a new person. Every penis is unique, and no two blowjobs are the same. The same can be said for all sex acts, but there's something particularly intimate about having someone's penis in your mouth. The whole experience can be quite discombobulating, what with all the balls you have to juggle (pun intended) with a new person.
It doesn't matter whether you're an established spitter or swallower, or how many times you've had a man cum in your mouth. There's always an intense anxiety when you feel him come close to orgasm. What is going to happen? Even though you know, you're still scared. For instance, every time it comes to that point, I start worrying that so much semen is going to squirt out so hard and fast that I will choke on it. This has literally never happened to me. But as soon as a guy starts clenching, I fill with fear. Even the most seasoned fellator has anxiety when it comes to finishing the job. Snap decisions have to be made, fast and in the heat of the moment, which can lead to embarrassing situations, like naked runs to the bathroom to spit up.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: istolethetv /Flickr; Giphy (6)

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