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DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a night of wonderful, morale-boosting, passionate sex with my son’s friend but now my son won’t talk to me.
I’m 43 and got divorced ten years ago after my husband left for another woman.
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He went on to marry her and start a new family. My son, who is 20, sees his dad and says they are very happy.
When my son moved out to start university two years ago, I thought about finding another relationship.
Friends say I am still an attractive woman, but my husband said some cruel things when he left me — that I’m fat and ugly, that no man would want me and I’m just a lump in bed.
My son invited a uni friend his age over to stay for a few days after Christmas.
At the last minute, my son’s dad invited him to a family party and he was keen to go.
His dad said it wasn’t suitable for his friend to go but this lad said he didn’t mind staying at our place with me.
Once my son had left, his friend and I settled down with some beers and wine.
I had no thoughts of anything sexual. He told me about his problems keeping relationships and I tried to give him some helpful life guidance.
This led to him asking about my marriage and I was honest about how demoralised my husband had left me feeling and how I’d lost all my body confidence.
He said he was surprised, as he found me a very attractive woman. He is a fit, intelligent and good-looking young man so it was great to hear.
I thought he was just trying to boost my confidence but he leaned over and kissed me.
Very quickly we were all over one another, then in my bed having passionate sex. It made me feel great.
We both felt a bit awkward in the morning and agreed never to tell my son, as it would hurt him.
My son arrived back at lunchtime and life rolled on.
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My social life still hasn’t gone anywhere — it’s hard with all the virus restrictions — and it’s been good having my son home from university.
But then he met this same friend and a couple of others in our nearest city and they all got very drunk.
The friend blurted out to my son about our night of sex and he is furious.
He stormed back into the house the next day, called me all sorts of names and now won’t talk to me.
He takes his food to his room and slams the door in my face if I try to talk to him.
I feel so guilty and it’s breaking my heart.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are human and this young man offered you comfort.
Yes, it was probably a mistake but we all make mistakes.
Keep telling your son you are sorry to have embarrassed him but, for both your sakes, you need to talk.
No one died and this rift is hurting him as much as you.
You must feel very lonely, so confiding in a counsellor may help. See bacp.co.uk .
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I am a 22-year-old man, and I am very muscular. I have a woman friend. When I was going to high school, her son and I were good friends, and many times I used to stay at his house because they have a nice house and it is very comfortable.
My friend and his mother were living alone because his mother and father were divorced. My parents are poor. This lady used to give me lunch money. She used to tell me that she loved me, but she told her son that, too, so I didn't pay that any mind.
When I was going to graduate from high school, she gave me a graduation gift. My parents told her that they appreciated what she did for me. When her son left for university in the States, she told me that I could always come back to the house. When she didn't see me, she would ask my parents for me and she would call me. She told me that she loved me.
One evening I was there, it was not late in the night. I was in her son's room, and she went to the bathroom and came out in the nude and came into his room. I turned away my face, and she told me that I didn't have to turn away, I can look at her. I told her that it was not right for me to look because she could be my mother, and she said mothers can teach sons certain things. After she said that I realised what this woman's intention was. She asked if I had a girlfriend and I told her yes. She asked if we have sex, and I told her yes. Then she asked me to have sex with her. All that time, she did not put on any clothes. I had sex with her, and from that time we have been doing it together.
For the first few months, she would come to me. Now when I go there, I go into her bedroom. Sometimes my parents don't know that I am there. She buys me nice things, and her son and I talk all the time. I have nothing to give to her. She doesn't need anything. She is 50 years old. Her neighbours don't suspect us because they know that I was always there when her son was here.
Whenever I am there, I turn off my phone so that my girlfriend can't find me. My girlfriend likes to question me a lot. She knows my parents, and when she can't find me, she calls them.
Some people say that men have older women because they want to rip off the older women. In my case, this woman knows that I have nothing. She is not poor, and she knows I have a girlfriend, but she still wants me. She told me that whatever we do should remain in the closet.
The only thing she doesn't do to me is to go down on me. My girlfriend does that. She does not know that I am fooling around with this woman, and I don't want her to find out either.
This woman who has been kind to you has gone too far, much too far. I have observed that these cases are coming to me with regularity. Some older women are behaving as if they are out of control. For years I have had to be counselling older women and telling them that it is unwise to become sexually involved with young men unless they are prepared to marry them, and their children are not against such relationships.
You and this woman's son are very good friends. I doubt very much that he would be pleased to hear that you are having sex with his mother. You have a girlfriend, and this woman knows it. You said you told her so. You and your girlfriend are sexually active. This woman is 50 years old. Don't you think she should find someone in her age group or even a little older than herself? It is a pity you didn't resist this woman from the very outset. I suppose you did not resist her because you became aware that you could get anything you want from her.
I am going to suggest that you stop going to her place, and that you stick with your girlfriend. If she invites you to her house, you should take your girlfriend with you.
Copyright © 2017 The Gleaner Company (Media) Limited. A member of the RJRGLEANER Communications Group. All Rights Reserved.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/dear-deidre/12708591/i-had-sex-with-sons-best-friend/
http://jamaica-star.com/article/tell-me-pastor/20171026/having-sex-my-friends-mother
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Me Sons Best Friends Com Porno
