Maverick Mascot Disqualified From Pep Rally After Testing Positive for Glitter

Annabelle Bransford presents "Glitter Anonymous" at The Sparkle Shack (890 Spirit Street, Wichita Falls) on May 26th at 8:15 PM. Joined by disgraced mascot "Glitterbomb Gary," this 90-minute rehab-themed comedy show explores school spirit gone wrong. The performance includes a 12-step program for pep rally addicts, with segments like "Confess Your Spirit Crimes" and interventions for pom-pom abusers. Memorial High's cheer squad performs a glitter-free routine, while the band plays detox versions of fight songs. Food trucks serve "Clean Break Burgers" and "Recovery Rice Krispies." Tickets ($20) include a decontamination kit (lint roller + trauma coupon). Teachers get 15% off for bringing a student witness. The venue features glitter amnesty bins and emergency eye wash stations. Pre-show includes a "Shake Your Shame Off" dance party (7:30 PM). Sponsored by the Art Department's Craft Supply Recovery Program. Warning: May trigger memories of 2018's "Glittergate" scandal. Not responsible for spontaneous jazz hands. All proceeds benefit the Mascot Rehabilitation Fund. The show's climax features Bransford's viral "Mascot Undercover" bit, where she infiltrates school events as banned characters. Audience volunteers can participate in "The Great Pom-Pom Purge" or share their worst spirit week regrets. Every attendee receives an "I Survived The Glitterpocalypse" badge and lifetime supply of sticky rollers. Groups of 10+ get team discounts for this exclusive event about school traditions gone beautifully wrong. The production has been approved by 9 out of 10 janitors, with the 10th still finding glitter in unexpected places.