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I Had a Threesome, and This Is What It Was Like
April 1, 2020
by Kacie Main
I entered the experience with one goal in mind: I wanted to completely let loose and allow myself to fully indulge in my sexual side, acting on every impulse and voicing every desire.
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I had a threesome . It's still sometimes hard for me to believe and people are generally shocked when I tell them. After all, I don't come across as "that type of girl," whatever that means. But here's the type of girl I am : I'm open-minded, nonjudgmental, curious, and yes – sexual . I'm someone who holds back in bed, and someone who no longer wants to.
While I never expected to actually participate in a threesome, I'll admit it was something I had thought about and even fantasized about, as I think many of us do (yes, even us women). My threesome didn't happen like they often do in movies. I wasn't picked up by two guys at a bar or by swingers at a club. My invitation came from someone I knew and trusted. And since I had zero going on in my dating (or sex) life at the time, I figured it was a unique opportunity that may never come again. Might as well go for it, right?
The couple I was with are pros. I wasn't their first and I definitely wasn't their last. They knew what they were doing and they were smart about it – all safety related discussions were had well beforehand and they happily answered any questions I had. They wanted me to feel completely comfortable because they were completely comfortable. The wife wasn't doing it solely to fulfill her husband's desires while secretly not being okay with it. And the husband wasn't some jerk who found a loophole to cheat on his wife. It truly was something they enjoyed doing together . A hobby, if you will. And as odd as it may sound, putting someone between them in bed somehow made them closer in life. It would be hard for me to believe had I not seen it with my own eyes. I was like a shiny new toy they got for Christmas – something they could unwrap and play with together. I never felt left out, but it also wasn't really about me. It was about them and their experience of me together. I was amazed at the trust and lack of jealousy in their relationship. I don't think I could ever play the role of the wife, but I applaud her confidence in herself and in their relationship.
I entered the experience with one goal in mind: I wanted to completely let loose and allow myself to fully indulge in my sexual side , acting on every impulse and voicing every desire. I've never been extremely timid in bed, but, like many people, I've a hard time totally letting go. I worry about how my body looks in certain positions and I expect my partner to read my mind rather than simply saying or doing what I want. I hoped that by putting myself in an unfamiliar, extremely sexual environment, it would give me the uninhibited freedom I've always craved.
And yes, I had several firsts. After struggling to maneuver around wearing a strap-on, I have a newfound respect for anyone who does it regularly. I had hot oil drizzled over me and learned I'm anti-butt plug. From a purely physical standpoint, it was all very fun and exciting. But the one climax I never reached was the total mental surrender. I pretty much went along with anything, but I never initiated.
Having a threesome helped me understand that uninhibited freedom doesn't come from the environment I'm in or who I'm with. That freedom comes only from me: me being completely comfortable with my naked body; me quieting all the fears and insecurities to hear my own desires; and me being strong enough to stifle all apprehensions and act on them. My threesome couple couldn't grant me that — only I can give me that. So, whether I choose to have another threesome or not is completely up to me, because I know that I can (and should) go after exactly what I want.
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Marta K., a 27-year-old who lives in Washington, D.C., wanted to broaden her sexual horizons. When she found herself in bed with a married couple, she learned a lot about how she defines good sex. Here, Marta tells her story.
When I was young, I was all about fairytale-type love . I thought there was only one person for me and that I'd be with them forever. But as I got older, my ideals changed, so I dated and had sex with different people. Then for my 27th birthday, a friend got me a high-end erotica book as a joke. I was going through a dry spell, and the book made me feel like I could live this incredible, scandalous life. For the first time, I realized that because I was single and didn't owe anyone anything, I could do whatever felt good. One of the things I was most curious about was having sex with a girl, so I switched my Tinder preferences from guy to girl. I wasn't expecting to meet Jen and Eric (names have been changed) , but I stumbled upon their joint profile and was intrigued.
They looked like Abercrombie models, but artsier. Their profile very openly said they were a happy married couple who was looking for a third. I found them attractive and they seemed fun, so I swiped right. When we matched, I messaged them and said we should grab coffee. I wasn't really nervous—I think all my nerves are dead? When we met for coffee, I saw her first and was like, ooohhh , she's cute. She was blonde, around 5-foot-4, and very fit. Then I saw him, looking like a guy who'd play a Wall Street dude on TV. Yep, also cute.
Our coffee date felt like I was interviewing for a spot on their threesome team. They asked me what I like to do, what I studied in college, about my life, why I moved to Washington D.C. I was trying so hard to be interesting, and I realized that trying to charm two people at once is exhausting. After those questions, we transitioned into talking about the threesome part.
Jen was very direct—I loved that, for many people it's hard to talk honestly and openly about sex—and told me they were married , loved each other, and just wanted to explore. She also told me she's never felt jealousy, so she didn't have any boundaries in place about what Eric and another woman could do in front of her.
They'd never had a threesome before, and I hadn't either. I think we were each hoping the other would have more experience with this, but we were all threesome virgins. As we wrapped up the date, Jen told me I was really interesting and pretty. I was like, "Oh, I might get the job!"
A week later they invited me over, and I knew things were going to get more intimate. We confirmed that we'd all recently been tested, then they asked for my boundaries. I said Eric needed to wear a condom and that I didn't want to have anal sex , but beyond that, I was open to anything.
Jen and I were sitting on the couch, and at one point in the conversation, she crawled over and kissed me. Then Eric came over, and the three of us made out for awhile. Not like a three-way makeout; those aren't a thing. But I was alternating between kissing both of them, and I really liked it. It was a completely novel experience for me. We all fooled around for a little without even taking our pants off, but we didn't have sex because I had my period . A few weeks later we met up again and actually had sex.
It was very mechanical, I think because I've only ever had sex with people I cared for. Even though I liked and was attracted to Jen and Eric, I didn't have a personal connection with them. It's not that they weren't passionate with me and each other, but I kept thinking about maneuvering, positioning, and choreography. Like, what do I do next? Is everyone involved? It was the most detached sex I've ever had.
It felt like we were all using porn as our guide, especially with the sex positions . Like, how else would we know to try him going down on me while she touched and kissed me, or him going down on me while the two of them had sex?
There were also times when things got awkward. I went down on Jen and didn’t hate it, but it didn’t do anything for me. It's honestly like licking anything else. And when she went down on me, it felt like she wasn’t into it. She only moved her tongue instead of really getting in there and seeming engaged. Also, there was one point when Jen was on top of me and Eric was on top of her , having sex with her from behind. God, that was so awkward because she and I were face-to-face, but I was just...there. I did eventually orgasm when Eric was going down on me, but I really had to think ~sexy thoughts~. It didn't just happen, and for me, it's usually easier with one person.
I'm glad I had the threesome, but being the third isn’t the best. I want to try it again, but ideally as part of a couple or at least with people I know and am comfortable with. I feel like Jen and Eric got so much more out of it because they loved each other, and for me it was purely physical. It felt a little bit like I was a toy and they were playing with me. Not in a bad way, but just completely free of any emotions. I missed the connection of getting lost in one person.
All in all, I learned that from my perspective, threesomes aren't as much fun as regular sex. Also, I went down on a girl, so now I know for a fact it's not that hard. I'm never dating a guy who won't do it again.
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