Mature Swinger Group

Mature Swinger Group
By Elizabeth Durand Streisand Published: Jun 1, 2016
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Here's one way to keep marriage interesting.
Some older people like going on cruises. Others hightail it to early-bird specials. Then there are the ones who use their golden years to experiment sexually outside their relationship. Meet two such senior swingers, Mark and Deanna.
Mark and Deanna, both in their mid-fifties, got married 5 years ago. Neither has children from any prior relationships. They live in Las Vegas, Nevada, where they enjoy walking their dogs, doing puzzles, and seeing new movies on date nights. They also like going to places like The Green Door, a nearby night club that hosts various swingers' parties. To this couple, casual sex with strangers is a recreational activity just like any other.
It was Mark's idea to swing. He and Deanna had been married for 3 years, and while he was nervous to voice this desire, he thought it would be a good way to break up the monotony of marriage. He first suggested it in the midst of an intimate, candlelit dinner, but even in that setting, Deanna didn't exactly jump at the proposal. "She was kind of hesitant at first," Mark says now.
"I was a little blown away," Deanna recalls. "But with a little romance he talked me into it. I'm an open person, so for him I was willing to give it a shot because it's what made him happy."
It took nearly six months after Deanna agreed to prepare and find a suitable event for them. Mark looked online for the right venue, and both were required to get STD testing in advance — along with bringing protection, a clean bill of health was a requirement from the party organizers. With the legwork done, Mark and Deanna headed to their first swingers' party.
The mid-sized club they chose was set up like a standard cocktail party, but both were struck by the surprisingly homey vibe. Not surprisingly, however, both were still anxious. "At first, I was uncomfortable, shy, and a little nervous," Mark says. "I'm not a party girl," Deanna adds. "I don't do clubbing. I don't drink, so for me it took a bit longer to open up and talk to people." She wasn't alone though; there were actually quite a few partygoers who didn't drink. "It's not a place where everyone is drunk," Mark explains.
After surveying the scene, each zeroed in on potential partners and struck up casual conversations. "It's not like you just jump into bed," Deanna says. "You start talking to them and you get to know them a little bit." It all sounded normal enough — except for the actual topics of conversation. Normally when people first meet, discussions cover basics such as what you do and where you live. "We don't talk about any of that," Mark says, explaining that anonymity is at a premium. "Discretion is key." So what do they talk about, then? That's easy: sex. After exchanging a few pleasantries about their likes and dislikes with these new friends, Mark and Deanna headed to separate rooms for the main event.
"You book the rooms in advance," Mark explains, noting that the event space functions much like a hotel. "You get a key to a specific room for the night." Also like a hotel, some rooms are pricier than others. "The more people the room can hold and the more luxurious it is, the more you pay," Mark says, though Deanna adds that all rooms have "a radio for soft music, and a television and candles." No matter the pricing, all rooms are decidedly clean, sleek, modern and according to both Mark and Deanna, "romantic." One thing the rooms lack is a window. "They are really, really private," Deanna describes.
As Deanna and Mark drove home from that first experience, they asked each other the clichéd question: How was it for you? (Except this situation was anything but clichéd.) "We keep nothing from each other," Deanna insists. "We did talk about it because he wanted to know my feelings on it, and I wanted to know his to make sure there's no jealousy involved." Together, they decided it was something that had enjoyed and wanted to continue doing.
Within a few months, the couple had created a pattern. They go to a swingers' event every few weeks, which is frequently enough that they can now spot the "regulars," but not so frequently that they consider themselves part of that group. They're allowed to sleep with anyone they choose and don't approve of each other's partners — but they do always talk about their experiences afterward.
They attend a variety of parties. Some are limited to middle-aged people or seniors only, while others include people of a variety of ages. Deanna prefers a variety of ages, even though she's not looking to be a cougar. "Younger men don't do anything for me," she laughs.
In contrast, Mark prefers the seniors-only soiree. "The older women are more… educated," he ventures. "Experienced," Deanna suggests. "Exactly," Mark agrees.
"If one of them finishes with their partner-for-the-night before the other, he or she simply waits in the common space of the event. They always leave together and — most importantly — they never interact with any of these sex partners outside of the club. They claim this rule keeps the experience from "seeping in" to their relationship at home.
So far, their crowded sex life hasn't impacted their union negatively. If anything, "It's better," Mark says. "We're just stronger," Deanna agrees. "There is a certain strength that comes with freedom, knowing that you can do what you want." They both say that swinging helps them feel "less trapped" in their long-term relationship.
"No matter how much you love someone, things can get stale," Mark explains. "By adding other sexual partners into the mix, it keeps everything fresh — including sex with the person you're committed to. By not having such strict boundaries, we've opened up more to each other."
If there are other couples out there who want to give swinging a whirl, the pair has some advice. "Make sure that it's something that you really want to do, because jealousy can quickly creep in and tear a relationship up," Deanna warns. "You have to make sure it's something that you're comfortable with." So to each their own… except when borrowing partners.
Elizabeth Durand Streisand was a former freelance journalist with bylines in Us Weekly, Yahoo, Life & Style, NY Post, NY Daily News, and MTV, among others. She’s currently the CEO of Broadway Roulette.
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A group of swingers have given a rare and honest insight into the inner workings of the taboo lifestyle, revealing the truth behind people’s common misconceptions.
The Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s “You Can’t Ask That” features different groups of Australians and asks them questions that people want to know the answer to but wouldn’t bring up in a regular situation.
Some of the past participants include former cult members, drag queens, transgender people, strippers and, in the latest episode, swingers.
The participants start off by addressing some of the myths around swinging and swingers parties.
There’s a common misconception that at these parties partners get chosen by everyone putting their car keys in a bowl. Whoever’s keys you pick out is then your partner for the night.
But according to the participants, this rarely, if ever, happens. More often than not partners are chosen on a preferential basis.
“I would much rather have sex with a couple that we have talked with over drinks for an hour than be forced into a bedroom with another person,” Sally from Melbourne said.
Megan, a single woman who is involved in the Brisbane swinger scene, said: “That would terrify me because you don’t really have a choice about who you’re going home with or who you’re hooking up with.”
Megan is known as a “unicorn” in the swinging community because of her single status and said that a lot of couples often look to incorporate another woman in their sex lives.
She said that many people believe women are forced into the swinging scene by their husbands or boyfriends and that the community is just full of “sleazy, old, fat men.”
“The thing is that can be true sometimes because all types of people like to swing,” Megan said. “(It’s) people wanting to explore their sexuality with each other in a couple situation.”
For the people being interviewed the decision to get into swinging was very much a mutual decision between both partners.
Husband and wife Andrew and Sally first got into the scene shortly after their engagement.
“I was only 18 when I met Andrew. He was pretty much one of my first sexual partners,” Sally said.
“As the wedding date slowly crept up on us, I sort of felt the pressure of, ‘I haven’t had any other sexual experiences, I haven’t played with anyone else.’”
She said it was a co-worker that first suggested that just because they were getting married didn’t mean they had to be monogamous.
The couple now regularly attend swingers events together, naming “jelly wrestling” and “the raw lust of it” as some of the most exciting aspects.
Interviewees answered a range of questions like “What are the best sex tips you have learned?” and “What is it like to lose your swinging virginity?” but one of the big ones asked was what it was like to see their partner with someone else.
Jess from Sydney said jealousy is definitely a factor, particularly in the beginning.
“I’m not going to say I don’t get jealous, especially in the early days … because, you know, I compared myself to that girl and I was like, ‘How did she do that?’” she said.
“(But) I think just being able to communicate that with Lawrence has taught me … I don’t have to be jealous. I can just appreciate and love him and love her for what they’re doing. And do it better sometimes.”
Most of the couples agreed that communication between couples was key and a lot of the time seeing their partner with someone else was part of the thrill.
All of the interviewees were very forthcoming with information and the episode didn’t really leave much to the imagination.
While some viewers praised the show as “wonderfully honest” and “very eye-opening,” others weren’t so impressed.
“While I’m cool with people enjoying whatever they like, I actually felt like I was tricked into listening to porn without my consent,” one person wrote on social media.
“Bit ironic really when they were talking up the understanding of consent within the swinging community.”
Another said, “Now I am very broad minded but that needed some serious warnings before it was on. Bit OTT. Love the concept in the right situation.”
“Bit verbally graphic for 9 pm my adult kids. Walked out! … not a prude just saying,” one person wrote.

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A swinger couple show the in's and out's of their way of life.
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