Mature Swing

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Mature Swing
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Some older people like going on cruises. Others hightail it to early-bird specials. Then there are the ones who use their golden years to experiment sexually outside their relationship. Meet two such senior swingers, Mark and Deanna.
Mark and Deanna, both in their mid-fifties, got married 5 years ago. Neither has children from any prior relationships. They live in Las Vegas, Nevada, where they enjoy walking their dogs, doing puzzles, and seeing new movies on date nights. They also like going to places like The Green Door, a nearby night club that hosts various swingers' parties. To this couple, casual sex with strangers is a recreational activity just like any other.
It was Mark's idea to swing. He and Deanna had been married for 3 years, and while he was nervous to voice this desire, he thought it would be a good way to break up the monotony of marriage. He first suggested it in the midst of an intimate, candlelit dinner, but even in that setting, Deanna didn't exactly jump at the proposal. "She was kind of hesitant at first," Mark says now.
"I was a little blown away," Deanna recalls. "But with a little romance he talked me into it. I'm an open person, so for him I was willing to give it a shot because it's what made him happy."
It took nearly six months after Deanna agreed to prepare and find a suitable event for them. Mark looked online for the right venue, and both were required to get STD testing in advance - along with bringing protection, a clean bill of health was a requirement from the party organizers. With the legwork done, Mark and Deanna headed to their first swingers' party.
The mid-sized club they chose was set up like a standard cocktail party, but both were struck by the surprisingly homey vibe. Not surprisingly, however, both were still anxious. "At first, I was uncomfortable, shy, and a little nervous," Mark says. "I'm not a party girl," Deanna adds. "I don't do clubbing. I don't drink, so for me it took a bit longer to open up and talk to people." She wasn't alone though; there were actually quite a few partygoers who didn't drink. "It's not a place where everyone is drunk," Mark explains.
After surveying the scene, each zeroed in on potential partners and struck up casual conversations. "It's not like you just jump into bed," Deanna says. "You start talking to them and you get to know them a little bit." It all sounded normal enough - except for the actual topics of conversation. Normally when people first meet, discussions cover basics such as what you do and where you live. "We don't talk about any of that," Mark says, explaining that anonymity is at a premium. "Discretion is key." So what do they talk about, then? That's easy: sex. After exchanging a few pleasantries about their likes and dislikes with these new friends, Mark and Deanna headed to separate rooms for the main event.
"You book the rooms in advance," Mark explains, noting that the event space functions much like a hotel. "You get a key to a specific room for the night." Also like a hotel, some rooms are pricier than others. "The more people the room can hold and the more luxurious it is, the more you pay," Mark says, though Deanna adds that all rooms have "a radio for soft music, and a television and candles." No matter the pricing, all rooms are decidedly clean, sleek, modern and according to both Mark and Deanna, "romantic." One thing the rooms lack is a window. "They are really, really private," Deanna describes.
As Deanna and Mark drove home from that first experience, they asked each other the clichéd question: How was it for you? (Except this situation was anything but clichéd.) "We keep nothing from each other," Deanna insists. "We did talk about it because he wanted to know my feelings on it, and I wanted to know his to make sure there's no jealousy involved." Together, they decided it was something that had enjoyed and wanted to continue doing.
Within a few months, the couple had created a pattern. They go to a swingers' event every few weeks, which is frequently enough that they can now spot the "regulars," but not so frequently that they consider themselves part of that group. They're allowed to sleep with anyone they choose and don't approve of each other's partners - but they do always talk about their experiences afterward.
They attend a variety of parties. Some are limited to middle-aged people or seniors only, while others include people of a variety of ages. Deanna prefers a variety of ages, even though she's not looking to be a cougar. "Younger men don't do anything for me," she laughs.
In contrast, Mark prefers the seniors-only soiree. "The older women are more… educated," he ventures. "Experienced," Deanna suggests. "Exactly," Mark agrees.
"If one of them finishes with their partner-for-the-night before the other, he or she simply waits in the common space of the event. They always leave together and - most importantly - they never interact with any of these sex partners outside of the club. They claim this rule keeps the experience from "seeping in" to their relationship at home.
So far, their crowded sex life hasn't impacted their union negatively. If anything, "It's better," Mark says. "We're just stronger," Deanna agrees. "There is a certain strength that comes with freedom, knowing that you can do what you want." They both say that swinging helps them feel "less trapped" in their long-term relationship.
"No matter how much you love someone, things can get stale," Mark explains. "By adding other sexual partners into the mix, it keeps everything fresh - including sex with the person you're committed to. By not having such strict boundaries, we've opened up more to each other."
If there are other couples out there who want to give swinging a whirl, the pair has some advice. "Make sure that it's something that you really want to do, because jealousy can quickly creep in and tear a relationship up," Deanna warns. "You have to make sure it's something that you're comfortable with." So to each their own… except when borrowing partners.
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Everyone appears to be getting laid on TV, social media, and in the movies… in real life, it’s actually kind of hard to find couples that are seriously looking for fellow swingers. 
The majority of couples just aren’t into it. Some only swing with their own friends, kind of a closed circle sort of thing. Then again, there ARE other swinging couples looking for dates…but locating these mysterious sexy strangers is a challenge. 
Here we look at the top 11 best swinger sites for finding open-minded people!
You may wonder, how did we figure out what sites to include?
We actually conducted a research project and registered for about 20 different swingers sites. Over the course of 25 hours or so, our profile and pictures got a lot of responses – and mostly from the top 5 sites on our list. 
For our Top 11 list that caters to swingers, open marriages, poly dating, and everything in between, we considered factors like members, dating app UI, response, quality of responders, intelligence of the conversation (indicating humans, not bots), and the number of swinger events or dates offered. 
By the end of this list, you might have one favorite swinger site that sticks out in your mind!
Starting back in 1996, Adult Friend Finder is the most well-known kinkster site online.
This adult dating site was matching up swingers and real-life gangbangs back when most of us were just discovering free porn for the first time. Adult Friend Finder also happens to have one of the most inclusive and open-ended searches of all dating sites.
You can look for couples, trans users, or groups, and designate your own sexual preferences. Even more interesting is that you can choose “how you swing”, deciding on which spouse gets sex, or if you’re just being a voyeur for the time being. 
SwapFinder is one of the largest swingers sites online, claiming 40 million profiles and offering a variety of matches, including full swap, threesomes, BDSM activities, and even group sex. 
Naturally, the best feature for swapping is their two-way live sex cams for both couples. You can start flirting as a couple and send flirts or come-ons to other couples when you see someone nice.
Start with a video chat before arranging for a sex date – this way, you know the other members are real before you meet them.
SwingLifeStyle promotes a “Swingers Next Door” kind of feel, with less emphasis on perfection and supermodels stripping on video, and more about finding real couples. 
The Florida-based website emphasizes club meetings and even has connections with “Bliss Cruise”, and “Topless Travel” options for meet and greets.
The best feature of the site is the “Join a Group” and “Find a Club” option, which lets you become part of a larger swinger community. 
SDC is serious about finding your customized date! As soon as you sign up you can choose between swingers, hookups, fetishes, and even sex education while you’re at it. Like some of the best swinger sites, SDC focuses on groups and communities, as well as events and parties . 
Swingers Date Club is taking online dating to the next level!
Many swingers enjoy meetup groups and events before they date a couple alone. Swingers Date Club also offers party searches and public events nearby, and more detailed profiles than the average site. 
On top of all that, SDC is also one of the oldest swinger communities online, starting in 2000. 
Reddit Swingers is one of the most active dating groups for swingers, though its 200K members are substantially less than most of the other sites reviewed. Still, it’s an active community with a very direct approach. 
You can enjoy free sign-up , instant chat, instant forum discussion, and private picture trading. If you don’t want to pay for the snappy features and just want to find or post a personal ad, Reddit Swingers won’t disappoint.
Seeking.com is not a swinger dating website specifically, but it does just so happen to bring a lot of hot college girls together, all on the tab of a wealthy guy with no attachments.
The site isn’t about escorting, just sugar babies who are more than willing to chat about sex, fantasies, and what turns them on.
The female-to-male ratio is highest at this site, 4-1, which is great odds. It’s one of the best dating sites to find threesomes or a pool of sexy partners if you have the Bruce Wayne/Tony Stark kind of lifestyle. 
Believe it or not, Ashley Madison is not all about cheating. Plenty of profiles on the site are hot wives (sharing couples), open marriages, poly, and couples looking for threesomes. No names are required and in fact, sharing personal information is discouraged.
Ashley Madison provides chat, email, travel perks for meeting lovers on the go, and most importantly, anonymity. If you’re a single guy looking for couples, Ashley Madison has the tools you need. While not strictly a swinger dating app, it might just do the trick.
Alt.com is a BDSM-themed site with a high number of active users. There are multiple fetishes and relationship types here, not to mention an LGBTQ+ friendly atmosphere.
While the site is not free, for a low-cost you can get away from the ads, fake profiles, and spammers. 
The extended questionnaire, for example, helps root out the weaklings from the dedicated users who want to have some sex already. 
Kasidie offers anonymous couples matching with customized levels of privacy. You can look through photo albums or chat with others in a forum or online messaging.
Most importantly, Kasidie offers hundreds of listings for swinger parties, swinging events, and even resort sleepovers.
Besides the club listings, the swinger website also provides private and even secret communities catering to specific fetishes or general interests. 
Fetlife is primarily known as a BDSM hookup site , roleplay site, and the darker side of the dating scene, where you can openly discuss blackmail play, dungeon flogging, cage training , and whatever else would make Christian Grey blush. 
It’s not like the other dating sites.
But Fetlife is also known as a great place to find swinger partners because most couples on Fetlife are spoken for AND looking. Everyone here is probably open to sex or swinging IF the fetish matches and if they like your photos/videos. 
Tinder is a special case because it is both the best of times and the worst of times when it comes to swinging. Sure, plenty of open-minded partners are on Tinder looking for swapping or for a third. 
But there are also plenty of Tinder horror stories, “awkward” stories, and all sorts of swinging fails that come from an unfiltered “free” service. If you’re picky about who you meet, Tinder might be a disaster. 
It’s actually great that you have questions about swinging. The worst thing you can do is jump, uh head first , into an unpredictable sexual situation.
As you will learn, successful swinging is all about communicating with your partner and your new sex buddies. 
First, try to understand that there’s no “one size fits all” in the swinger lifestyle. 
Some couples or poly families have always been non-monogamous. Sometimes they grow up around it. Sometimes they learn it, because of a busy work schedule or frequent travel. 
Other couples are curious and want to spice up their sex life. They may have even more complex rules and desires, and it’s important to understand them individually. 
Not everyone wants the same thing, even in a freethinking lifestyle such as swinging. 
Experienced swingers will tell you to leave the personal drama at home, and to get your issues fixed BEFORE bringing someone else into your bedroom. 
A lot of toxicity follows around some couples that have warped ideas of what swinging and sharing really means.
It’s definitely not a hobby for the jealous, the ultra-sensitive, or the confused. The more chill you are, the STRONGER the bond with your partner already is, the better the experience will be. 
Try to approach the first flirt or conversation as you would dating normally. Start with a friendly greeting, or a question, or an introduction.
Swinger partners want to know you’re safe, normal, and interesting before they proceed. You’re all like-minded people trading monogamy for the interesting swinger lifestyle.
It’s important to have good photos available of the two of you, including full body shots, a “pro” shot (even better if you’re hugging each other), and anything else adorable. 
Be available if your first couple wants to chat with both of you on video or by phone. As much as possible, try to establish that you’re real, serious, and ready to meet in person. 
If you’re a single person then it’s very important to let your crush couple know you play by their rules . No showboating, no rude behavior, and nothing too weird. 
Be upfront with your photos and be willing to chat on text, phone, or camera . Be chill!
If the swinging couple likes your photos, they will talk to you and make sure you understand how things are going to go.
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