Mature Friend

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Mature Friend
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Sex without commitment can work if we believe it can, and we're clear ourselves as well as with our partners about the boundaries. Are we friends first, lovers second? Are we playing at romance, or refusing to let the relationship become romantic? Are the reasons that we want to be friends with benefits but not actual 'in-love' lovers clear and valid to both of us?
Apr 25, 2013, 08:02 AM EDT | Updated Jun 25, 2013
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I got cranky reading Patty Brisben's "Friends With Benefits Over 50... A Do Or A Don't?" When an article about sex starts with "Don't" -- I bristle, especially when it goes on to moralize about what we should or should not do sexually. There's a difference between saying, "This would not be right for me," and "You shouldn't do this either."
We're not always fortunate enough to be in a love-filled, committed relationship. Does that mean we should not have sex until that happens again (if it does)? That's the choice of some of us, but not all of us. "Friends with benefits" means a friendship that involves sex -- it doesn't mean a hook-up devoid of emotion. We can feel close to someone, even intimate, in a FWB arrangement. I think we can make these decisions maturely on our own.
Although I do not have a friend with benefits at the moment (I wish I did, frankly), I have had these relationships in the past over my many decades of single adult life, and they were marvelous. We were real friends -- in fact, we still are. We cared about each other, we enjoyed learning about each other, we delighted in conversation in and out of bed. We just weren't in love and we were not expecting commitment or exclusivity.
When it was time for the sexual part of the relationship to end -- usually because one of us fell in love with someone else and was ready for a committed relationship with that person -- we ended it cleanly and honestly, and stayed platonic friends after that.
I get occasional emails from women asking whether a FWB or "sex buddy" relationship is possible at our age. The women who write me usually worry that they'll become too emotionally involved. I say that if you're worried about this, heed that fear, because it's likely a warning sign that you will respond this way. FWB isn't right for all of us. I'm not pushing you to try it -- rather, to know yourself, your emotional needs and habits, and determine for yourself whether a FWB arrangement would work for you or not.
Sex without commitment can work if we believe it can, and we're clear ourselves as well as with our partners about the boundaries. Are we friends first, lovers second? Are we playing at romance, or refusing to let the relationship become romantic? Are the reasons that we want to be friends with benefits but not actual "in-love" lovers clear and valid to both of us? Honesty is required in this kind of relationship.
I believe strongly that if there's a third person involved -- you or your friend/lover has a primary partner -- that it has to be okay with that partner. Don't sneak or lie -- if it can't happen honestly, it shouldn't happen. You may say, "Aha! And you said you hated the "don't" word!" True. I don't moralize much because I believe that anything two consenting adults do is no one's business but theirs, whether or not I would personally enjoy doing what they're doing. But if another partner is involved, that partner has to give consent, too.
In my thirties, forties, even fifties, I had friends with benefits at various times -- men who remain friends to this day, though it's been decades since we were sexually involved. Could it work today, at age 69? I think so, given the right person, the right friendship, the right communication, the right circumstances.
Are you involved in a friends with benefits relationship over age 50? Tell us your tips for making it work.
Ageless sexuality advocate Joan Price is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty . Naked at Our Age won Outstanding Self-Help Book 2012 from the American Society of Journalists and Authors and Best Book 2012 from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Joan edited the new steamy senior sex anthology, Ageless Erotica . Visit her zesty, award-winning blog about sex and aging at http://www.NakedAtOurAge.com and her Naked at Our Age Facebook page , where Joan continues to talk out loud about Boomer/ senior sex, partnered or solo.

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Jobeth DeMarkov is a villainess from the 1970 film noir film “A woman with a cold heart.”
Jobeth married Mr. Thomas, a wealthy businessman, but her innate evil and greedy nature allowed her to bloom a sinful flower in the grand suburban mansion.
Mr. Thomas was aware of his wife's misbehavior, but he could not resist her mysterious poisonous charm and indulged in the dark pleasure of degradation by watching her licentious deeds through the gap in the door.
One of Thomas's men, Julian, watched as Jobeth strolled through the garden in a black leather outfit that a witch would have preferred.
Jobeth noticed Julian staring at her leather costume and called him over to tell him to re-hook her necklace.
She waited for Julien's burly arm to touch her neck, and then let her breath out with a sweetness that even a saint would find irresistible.
He couldn't help but take her Italian leather opera glove in his hand and kiss it on the mouth.
Needless to say, this was a big mistake for him that had to be punished with a big price.
Here I am hugging and laying on my doll again. My top is sheer chiffon, with silver decorations. The bed is covered in black lace. He's such a good boy. Well maybe he is a girl, after all, how do I know? I just call him...HE! He's still a kitten.
......................................................................................................................................................
i am not a cd tv or crossdresser but many of my friends are
People had asked me to take a look at one of my signature photos. So people said, can we see more detail of this petticoat...so here it is today. A vintage treasure.
I love the pose, and these are the same shoes. They are suede with tiny pussy cat bows and plastic.The petty is satin, and net and has polka dots. You can see my black panties.
etc. I shot this recently. I would never part with this petticoat. I said I loved them so much, I would put them in a museum display case. Oh no, the plastic cracked and they are trashy now, and gone.
i still have the petticoat, it scratches...but its so gorgeous.
i am not a cd, tv, xdresser, but many of my friends are,
some would love to have this for sissy look. I am not a sissy. I am married mistress..and my pics feature the most femme fashions.
alas, I have to sew them myself or find them in thrift shops.
I think the next photos are sexy and cute...but I wanted to show those girls, and friends of mine, what this dress really looks like. I will go over the points that make it
* peek a boo eyelet to see the red lining
* vee neck, no lapels, they are sharp like swords
* no hardware or metal, no belt buckle or buttons...a sash is used tied in pussy cat bow
* ruffle on ruffle, lace trims the edges
* sleeves are flared no cuffs, cuffs are barrier, ruffle lines are EASY ACCESS.
* puff sleeves, are " shoulder shrug a flirting gesture
* black is prostitute, the bad girl
* red is enthusiasm, so this is the " enthusiastic whore
shoes, ties are bondage, at the ankles, and toe cleavage is vagina.
little net gloves, just added. This dress is 20 years old, was worn by models in my seminars. It's street length, although I'm bending over, this throws my face out of whack. It is not this long. A married mistress is angel in white, and prostitute in black to fulfull all fantasy of her man. The sleeves are butterfly and they ARE LINED IN RED, the cuffs, not just lace trim. This is so funny, that I wear this to church and it's so sexy. I didn't wear the gloves. Anyway, any questions?
.......................................
to see more of these totally femme Click here
Now how could a man teach this to women? they can't therefore...i tell you I am not a cd. tv, xdresser.
click to see close ups of the shoes etc
i had email from older gentleman that liked to dress up and wife doesnt like it. He thanked me for my instructions.
i'm reposting this...so i can show new viewers.
I wish i could shoot this better. I used automatic focus and it needs to have the digital white thingee defeated. This top is silver threads and shines...like blinding light...and digital won't catch it...
you can see a bit on the back shoe...that shining silver.
The bottom is ENCRUSTED WITH STONES. It's crepe, that stetches,
assymetrical hem has a up flip in the front.
What a find this is. A treasure. It's above my knees but looks so cute.
I will wear this to church...its crisscross bustline...and fits so beautiful. Even the sleeves have slits...at wrists. These slits are ez access.
LADIEs...SILVER GOLD AND METAL IS HARD, SCRATCHY, Beads...glitter...a big no no no...men love soft material.
We women want glamour...thats ok but real feminine is silk, chiffon and feathers...sequins...are hard and a man doesn't want to snuggle up to hard things, cutting things.
These shoes...are all leather...and they are in the form of leaves...beautiful
My hubby gives me all that i want or need.
Nude color and extremely sheer pantyhose. Red and gold finger nails. Whoops ... i should have worn a new silver anklet...sorry Michael.
I am not a cd, tv, or crossdresser, but many of my friends are.
So, I just put my foot up on my knee and shot the design on new pantyhose, i love em...
stuff on my bed for trying on. bought pink tutu for flkr not for
Nude body, with this one design on only one leg...only one bug.
I'm not sure they will last long...???
the quality i mean, never mind i might have them ripped off.
btw these did not rip and they were big hit at a night club with a mini skirt..many did not know they were fake and stockings.
to see my top views...200, to 500, each
UPDATE...THIS IS IN TOP ROWS OF SEARCH FOR HALLOWEEN. IN OVER 3 MILLION FLKR PHOTOS.
WITH BLACK LACE MINI..HOWEVER NO PICS
My bed, Museum setting wide angle. New sandals, open toes, high heels.
Nude color thigh highs. Harem idea to be developed.
Wooden trellis, Mirrors, wall of flowers. My garden bedroom...like being in gazebo. The ceiling is art painting of sky and clouds.
Well well, this just hit 331.000 plus.
this is house I just moved out of, I bought a smaller house, and this one is for rent...I had to tear out all this girly stuff the lattice work, the mirrors, the wall paper with flower.
( oh i see I listed these already.)
This was dream of mine, this bedroom, but renters don't want that much personality in their house.
Men are so stupid, they should have a bedroom, like they " sneaked into the girls dorm room" the only thing manly in that room should be his penis.
I am not a cd, or tv, or crossdresser, but many of my friends and followers are.
Here is other shot..I am holding a ruby necklace from my mother. www.flickr.com/photos/sugarbarre2/4943396295/
Home from church on Sunday. This top is lined lace. The skirt is tight to the body but the panels flow outward. I'm holding it out so you can see it.
These shoes are plastic with pink linen heels, mules, slides.
My hose are not nude, they are black, very black, but the light shoots right through.
My scarf was purchased at another time and lucky, it matches.
I shot more, so as my friend Rebecca says..."Stay tuned...and bye bye for now".
I am not a cd, tv, crossdresser, but many of my friends are.
If i have a fetish, it could only be shoes.
I have hundreds, but I don't need them to have sex. so I guess, it's just a hobby.
these are so beautiful, they are silk, see them glisten in the light?
i have on panties...but no pantyhose. The bottom of my famous vintage undies.
tee straps, ankle bondage, for a nice lady. Nails in two reds.
Cloud of white fluffy fur and dark green velvet drapes.
I wore this fantastic 1940's look polka dot dress. It's silky crepe, all lined and has pockets on my hips, and bows on there. The back has kick pleat with bow but I didnt shoot it. I happened to have a silk scarf that matched it perfect. It's around my neck in a boat neck tie style.
These darling little heels are peep toe with pussy cat bows.
I had this cute pillow ....says Chic Chick.
Amateur still struggling with lighting and focus. It's not crystal clear.
The bulb over head hits the top of my knee. These are thigh highs. I'll show you later. Deep lace...and no panties...THAT IS MY FAVORITE NOW.
I did not change into photographic makeup, this is natural color.
You know I'm going to flash you, undies and legs, later.
Sitting down, long leg shot. Same French camisole. Patent open toes, stockings, Not nude but sheer pantyhose. Pussy cat bows on heels.
This top is lingerie, I didn't wear it under the white lace blouse.
I am not a tv or cd or crossdresser but many of my friends are,
CLICK HERE TO SEE MY BEST BUDDIES..ALL GREAT STRAIGHT ..CD'S
I give my husband all the girls he wants. In one.
this dress is raggedy Ann and Andy print. There is a petty under the print, and a big one under that. Tights, baby jane shoes. Hearts and ruffles and yellow gingham, and rick rack. I have a candy sucker.
And Im sticking out my tongue. Sitting atop my couch. This dress is
25 years old. And I wanted to photograph it for history. I have them all and i wash them and keep them in storage. I designed it and made it.
One time, I met my husband at the door to surprise him a little fantasy...and he said...Come on...what?...We went out on the town and I called him DADDY. And people thought I was a waitress.
I am not a cd or a tv or a crossdresser, but many of my friends are
btw..there is fantasy album, that is not safe? where I dressed as three models.
white virgin, red whore, and dirty tonya in black.
This is in San Diego, I wore long dresses to church. My mom saw this and said " you're not going to wear that to church are you?" . Yes, The thing in my hand is a stole. and it wrapped around my halter neck and i tied it in a pussy cat bow. As I was walking down the hall, I passed the pastors wife and she burst out......Oh, what a BEAUTIFUL DRESS!
In California, it's ok to wear long dresses to church. I'm wearing my gibson girl wig.
I adore. This dress, is halter neck and no bra, and no back and the material is dotted swiss....and its piped all the ruffles with white....see the bottom and the stole.
It is sheer and it floats, all feminine, nothing masculine here. I have had many albums on Flkr, this was a favorite of many. I dont have this dress anymore, and I'm sorry I dont. But I learned to sew and I made one like it but knee length so I could wear it day time.
Someone noticed...with the shadow.........there are three of me! I love this picture and now, my new friends on here can see some of the old photos of me.
I am not a cd, tv or crossdresser, but many of my friends are,
I have reposted this, as I had comments about this wig.
its fabulous Victorian Gibson girl hair do.
real hair and cost a fortune to have it set this way . But I never took it down again.
the yellow dress, was made by me in ahort version
The highest arches on Flkr. Tied at ankles, simulate bondage. Seen in other photographs, here is close up.
i am not a cd, tv, or crossdresser but many of my friends are
sorrry, no facebook, twitter or website
I've had this for a while but never took any pics yet...
i have on a hoop skirt , i wanted to do skirt up..and show the hoop. But not easy to do.
This is Jessica McClintock...who used to be Gunnie Sax ...from San Francisco, Ca.
When I first started to be a Married Mistress... i began to love
gunnie sax...I adored them...and what man killers they are.
This is a southern belle, scooped loops, satin, silk, ribbon bows.
The underwear skirt is taffeta...shiny...and then the top skirt is lace, trimmed in lace.
I got this second hand...it's not one of my dresses...as I have gained a bit on weight in 30 years....lol.
The neckline , is high, and i have on fabulous pearls..and my big fat diamonds.
the bodice, the chest has deep ruffles...and see thru top,
see skin but covered up is very enticing.
the earrings are huge and match the necklace.
you dont think i can let a good dress, go by, without showing my panties and legs or shoes???
I am not a cd, tg, or crossdresser or ts.
Many of my contacts and friends are cds.
My little black dress, with french pantyhose. The shoes are open toe lace too.
I'm pulling up my skirt to show my sexy slip.
My hose have tiny dots on sheer nude back ground.
I am so mad that men accuse me of being a dude.
i am not a cd, tv, or xdresser or crossdresser. Nature made me.
But, i have many admirers who are, and they are my friends.
sorry no facebook, twitter or website
I don't like brown or orange...but this one has pink, and celedon...celery.
roses...and the top has split on arms of chiffon. The lap...is silk...grey. then tiers of ruffles....its to the floor..an evening gown..My makeup is subdued. The layers are silk and then chiffon in different ruffles or layers...cut wild...and prints and LACE. I figured this would be hard fo photograph....but?
It was a big hit..and I topped it with a lavendar hat...I put this green velvet over stool.My shoes are vinyl slide, mules and open toes. they have autumn leaves on them.This dress is summer, or fall...any season.I am loaded with diamonds..a pink diamond bracelet.
My bedroom, lounging on big pillows. Nude sheer thigh highs. Not pantyhose. New sandals, open toes,
My room is decorated like a garden, with wooden trellis, and one wall of
I'm holding rubies and stones. Antiques of my mothers.
I am not a crossdresser or cd. but many of my contacts are.
I used to li
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