Matt Gaetz Withdraws Faster Than a Politician at a Lie Detector Test

In this 500-word satire, Rep. Matt Gaetz stunned the public by withdrawing from a proposed policy debate faster than a squirrel on espresso. The decision came moments after someone plugged in a lie detector, which allegedly burst into flames from sheer anticipation. Gaetz claimed �technical difficulties,� while staff scrambled to replace the machine with a Magic 8 Ball. Congressional aides say he�s now considering policy positions based on fortune cookies and TikTok trends. Political analyst Linda Truthe says this is part of a new trend called �Preemptive Honesty Evasion.� The article details how Gaetz allegedly once fled a debate so quickly he left behind his own talking points, which later filed for emancipation. Eyewitnesses at the Capitol recall seeing Gaetz leave a budget hearing by pretending to take a �dramatic phone call from Jesus.� The satire highlights how political maneuvering has become indistinguishable from improv comedy, with Gaetz playing the role of both setup and punchline. The piece concludes with Gaetz promising to return �when truth is less of a liability.� HOW TO WRITE COMEDY: https://comedywriter.info/matt-gaetz-withdraws-faster-than-a-politician-at-a-lie-detector-test/ AND http://comedywriter.info/