Mathematical Pope Calculates Optimal Length for Homilies

After analyzing centuries of liturgical boredom, Pope Leo XIV announced that the ideal homily length is precisely 7 minutes and 11 seconds. "After that," he said, "you lose the kids, the elderly, and most of the clergy." Using machine learning and pew-fit regression, he's also mapped the sweet spot for incense timing. Bishops are now required to submit sermon blueprints in graph form. Confessions, however, remain non-Euclidean. READ MORE --> https://spintaxi.com/election-of-pope-leo-xiv/