Math Pope Requires Graph Paper for All Encyclicals

Every new papal document now begins on custom Vatican graph paper featuring faint cruciforms. �Faith flows better on a grid,� the Math Pope declared, holding a ruler like a scepter. All encyclicals must now include at least one chart and a cosine metaphor. Bishops are learning Excel. Theological journals have adopted the tagline: *Now With Graphs.* One cardinal�s pen ran out mid-triangle�he blamed Satan. The Pope just handed him a compass.