Masturbation Gloves
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Masturbation Gloves
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Taylor Andrews
Taylor is one of the sex and relationship editors who can tell you exactly which vibrators are worth the splurge , why you’re still dreaming about your ex, and tips on how to have the best sex of your life (including what word you should spell with your hips during cowgirl sex )—oh, and you can follow her on Instagram here .
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Clothes pins, ice cubes, that old Beanie Baby laying on your bed... trust me here.
One Cosmo writer once described masturbation as "the key to world peace" and "dealing with dick bosses everywhere." Though it may seem like an exaggeration, she's really not wrong. Not only does masturbating help boost your confidence and body image (with all those feel good endorphins released after orgasm), but your solo sessions can actually help reduce stress too.
Whether you opt for your rubdowns in the morning or at night, it's oh-so-good for the soul... which is why we want to enhance your masty time even more. Sure, you don't need these things (your fingers and body work juuuust fine), but if you ever want to like, really, really spice things up, check out the list below for the items you didn't know you needed while masturbating:
1. A blanket. For one of two reasons: One, it can get a lil chilly with your pants laying low around your ankles (don't pretend like you take them all the way off). Two, what if your roommate barges in about a cockroach she found? Blanket = easy cover up.
2. Noise-cancelling headphones. You know, to drown out your roomie's fight with her parentals. The sound of her crying low-key makes your eyes swell with sympathy, and the only thing you want swelling rn is your vaginé.
3. Masturbation playlist. Cardi B and Lizzo bops shouldn’t be reserved for your partnered sex playlist. Listening to some stiff beats will def have you feelin' some type of way with or without a man pretending like he knows where the clit is.
4. Lube. Please, please, please invest in some of this gooey goodness. The extra liquid makes every touch feel better, and when you think it's literally not possible to produce any more natural wetness during a masty bender, this will slide you right on through.
5. Nail clippers. I mean, is there any more of a turnoff than your sharp, janky nails scratching your clitoris? Cut 'em, girl. (FYI after that visual, I think my clitoris just went into hiding. BRB while I go find her...)
6. Clothes pins . You'll use these to clamp on your nipples if you're feeling kinky. The added—okay, slightly painful—sensation will heighten your sensitivity to major extremes. Oh, and this will wake you the eff up too if you're an a.m. masturbating stan.
7. A chip clip. Not everyone has a clothes pin, so the thing holding your Cheetos together will work.
8. ….and some Cheetos while you're at it. You're hungry!
9. Okay, also a wet wipe. You now have Cheetos dust all over your fingers and you don’t really feel like contracting a UTI today.
10. Mouthwash. Your Cheetos breath is the opposite of an aphrodisiac.
11. A vibrat or. Sure, your fingers are fine, but FWIW, vibrators don't cramp up or lose their speed.
12. An ice cube. Place that melty thing all around your labia. It'll desensitize everything to make your orgasm feel That. Much. Better.
13. A heating pad. You just placed an ice cube all over your vag, aren't you cold?
15. A Monster energy drink. Maybe you need that sugar rush to keep you awake, maybe you need that sugar rush to turn your hand into a makeshift vibrator.
16. A Beanie Baby your middle school crush gave you. It just seems like something good to hump when you're really feeling it.
17. Your fave John Mayer CD. Because Continuum . That's all.
18. A pillow. Okay, if the Beanie Baby took it a lil too far, a pillow works for your horny hump session too.
19. One of these audio erotica sites . Because the audio > visuals of porn.
20. That poster of Justin Bieber hanging up on your wall. Okay, this is if you do need a visual.
21. A rhythm. Don't just start rubbing your clitoris like you're applying self-tanner the day before prom. According to research, there are four motions that women love most on their c-spot: Up and down, circular, side to side, and rapid pushing (pulsating). Find and stick to your favorite.
22. A phone charger. Because PornHub is obsessed with drowning your battery.
23. A planner. So you can schedule your next masturbating session.
24. A lint roller. You don’t want to be distracted by all the hair on your black shirt, right? Right?
25. A crate… for your dog. "No, Buddy, this is not the time to pounce on me."
26. Gatorade. Girl, it's time to hydrate and replenish those electrolytes.
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