Masturbation Bdsm
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Masturbation Bdsm
Home Kink Solo Kink: BDSM and Masturbation
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Today, I want to talk to you about solo kink, specifically BDSM and masturbation. It is National Masturbation Month, after all, in case you’re stopping by the blog for the first time today and have missed the common thread in all my posts. The fact is, not everyone into kink is in a partnered relationship, and even those of you who are, might not be partnered with someone kinky.
Without getting into my personal history of BDSM – which I will do soon, I promise – I can share that for most of my life, I was either not partnered or not partnered with someone kinky. This meant that my only explorations with kink were done solo. For many of you, this may also be your experience, and it doesn’t have to mean you can’t enjoy kink on your own or with an internet friend.
First off, let’s be clear: there are things you can’t do alone. You can’t set up inescapable bondage. You can’t surprise yourself. But other than that, well, there’s a lot of stuff you can do on your own if you’re kinky and you want to play. My content is designed for subs, because that’s my inclination.
Self-bondage is one of those things that can be great when done safely, and when done wrong, ends up with an embarrassing news story that ruins your online reputation or worse. There are a lot of really hot self-bondage stories online, many of which are not at all safe to attempt.
Safety first when doing self-bondage. The simplest, safest method is to not tie your hands at all, but bind other parts of your body: legs, breasts, genitals. You could also bind one hand but leave the other free. Using cuffs with dogbone clips that you can reach is an alternative to rope, giving you the feeling of restraint without the actual restrictions. Whatever you do, make sure you can get out of it, even with numb fingers. Keep scissors handy, just in case. Don’t get elaborate.
If you must get elaborate, there are ice locks and other devices to ensure your timed restraint. These give me the heebie-jeebies, personally: hot in fantasy, but what if the house catches fire? Okay, your ice lock would probably melt faster, but… still. Come on. Seems too risky for me. If you are practicing any kind of elaborate self-bondage, have a friend who knows to call if you haven’t texted in an hour or so. If you don’t want to reveal your kinky secrets to your friends, then don’t get so elaborate with your bondage, or make up a cover story. Whatever.
The psychological effects of bondage are as strong as the physical, so look for ways to heighten the experience without compromising safety. Restrain your other limbs more strictly. Blindfold yourself, if this won’t hinder your ability to release yourself. There are plenty of scenarios and instructions online, but please, safety first.
Self-bondage and breath play do not mix, ever. Honestly, in my opinion, solo breath play should never be practiced by anyone.
There are a number of blogs running tease and challenge instructions for kinksters.
PleasureTorture is one of my favorites. There are a number of audio teases giving instructions, and it feels almost like you’ve got a Dom right there telling you what to do.
Sadistic-Games offers up 30 Days of Sadism (and then 31 Days of Sadism, if you want more) which are some fun challenges. By fun, I mean fun for a blog named Sadistic Games. SG, as I refer to him, is a pretty awesome guy with a hot, hot blog, and his challenges are fantastic.
FemSubDenial has a whole link to female masturbation instructions that you might enjoy. He reblogs my porn blog sometimes, so we’re cool.
As you can tell, I’m a big fan of Tumblr porn, and these are just three lovely ones.
Cyber Sex! Just typing it feels like the late 90s to me. Or the early naughties. Whatever. Cyber sex is any kind of online video or text-based sex play with a real person via the magic of the internet. It’s fun! I wrote a whole post about Kik sexting to share my experiences.
You can find people for play through groups on Fetlife, if you’re so inclined. Please note that I said groups on Fetlife, not random people you message and ask to sext with you. Use the Kik groups. There are people looking for play. Find them.
As always, be safe on the internet, folks! Be careful of who you show your face and identifying marks to, because there’s always a chance it’ll end up elsewhere on the internet, and like glitter, the internet is forever.
There are other kinky things you can do on your own.
Kink is fun with a partner, but it’s also fun solo. Set yourself challenges, blog about your experiences, or just cultivate some really naughty fantasies. You are, after all, in control of your sexual destiny.
Yesterday, we learned that 46% of respondents watch or read porn when masturbating at least some of the time, and 38% do it all the time.
Might I recommend some erotic romance novels ?
I have now fallen down a rabbit hole of links, I’m not sure if I want to thank you or curse you!
[…] from bottoms, including but not limited to the bottoms they actually play with. Why? Because, while solo BDSM also exists, BDSM is generally thought of as a partnered activity (or a team activity, if you play […]
Thanks for sharing this informative and interesting blog post.
Thank you for this. I’m a strong feminist who has an equally strong sub desire and no clue how to get going. I’m older and not physically attractive so am not really looking for a partner, as much as I’d love a man who wants to sexually dominate me. I’ll be checking out these links!
Wow. Your post is not only amazing but also have some wonderful and interesting concepts. Thanks for sharing.
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I'm very very single and as much as I'd like to have a partner I don't see myself hooking up with anyone anytime soon (soon being months to years regrettably). The thing with me is that I'm a masochist and I like being tied up, hurt, blindfolded and having things done to me like getting wax dripped on me. The problem here is that since I'm single I don't have a Dom it's lead me to not get much sexual satisfaction. I've tried to masturbate, but it feels so lackluster when I can't bind myself and can't really torment myself as much as someone else can. I can't reach my climax and it's so frustrating that I end up often times crying afterwords. I need some guidance on how I can masturbate but also somehow keep bound, and lose a bit of control, I want to feel a bit powerless, yet be able to stop everything if something goes awry. Does anyone know how I can be my own Dom without accidentally doing something like putting myself in a situation where I can't get unbound, burn down my apartment, or end up seriously damaging my body?
Btw I don't know if it's all that important to mention, but I'm a transgender male, meaning I have female genitalia, but identify as male.
Hey there,
I'm sorry you've been feeling so frustrated with this. There are some things you can do but first I want to tell you want you really should avoid.
One of the rules of bondage is never leave a bound person in the room alone. Which means you need to be very safe with bondage on your own and should certainly never put yourself into any situation that would be hard to get out of. Also, tying anything around your neck for breath play is something that is extremely dangerous. There are people that have ended up dead because they couldn't get out of their ties on their own and there was no one there to help them. Not to mention, breath play in and of itself is dangerous and no one has found any way to safely do it yet. When it comes to doing high-risk things such as activities that use fire(such as wax play) and sharp edges(things like blood/knife play) make sure you do some heavy research on the topic and will know what to do in case of an emergency as well as all the precautions you should take to avoid emergency.
Now that that's said, there are somethings that are fairly safe and that you can do alone. If you bind yourself, you can do so with things like scarves or clothing(make sure it's not made of any silk-like material that will tighten when pulled). Do not bind your hands or arms though, and make sure that you can untie anything that you use to bind your legs/feet quickly. Blindfolding yourself shouldn't be that dangerous either, as long as you're sure you're in a safe place and, again, can easily take it off. Also, you can try things like mental bondage. Such as, tell yourself that no matter what you can't move your legs(or whatever other part of your body, or even tell yourself that you can't make any noises like moans), or there's going to be a punishment, such as a spanking. Spanking is pretty low risk activity, as long as you make sure you're not hitting anything that you can easily damage(kidneys, tailbone, hips, spine, neck, face, ears) and you can do it to yourself. For things like waxplay, make sure you're getting candles/wax that burns at low temperatures. Avoid beeswax candles, as they burn at higher temps. Candles made of paraffin are good, although I'm not entirely equipt to give you advice as to where to find those. Another thing you can do is fantasize, if that helps you.
it's not really physical, and i'm in a relationship while not being sexually active daily, but one thing i do is write small stories. i don't share them with anyone/public though sometimes i might send a little to my boyfriend for fun ideas to think about. it's not really the same, and maybe not your thing, but i find that writing things (especially while aroused) and being able to read the words gets me going a lot and feels a little more powerful than just thinking. it's also nice because unlike erotica by others (though those can be fun too) is you can make it whatever you want. you could write it from a sub position or possibly a Dom position, maybe what you'd love to hear from someone in the future? anything from keywords or phrases to full out scenarios, it can be very helpful when masturbating!
Oh thank you guys! :'D I didn't think anyone would respond to the gripings of a lonely pervert. I've done a bit of my research and I've found that there are several way to preform like self handles ties (but I actually don't know what kind of rope to get) and I did a bit of research into machines (which is an idea that came to me after I posted this) and goolie gee there's just the most wonderful things on the internet ;0; I'll post a few links to things I've found for the other lonely perverts who are masochists. I found this lovely spanking contraption link removed and I found an entire store for machines that will do the thrusting for you! link removed also thanks for the warning about the low temperature candles. I asked my Dom friend and I had no idea there were different types of wax that melt at different temperatures (she said that starting on massaging wax would probably keep from hurti
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