Masturbating Machines

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Masturbating Machines
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Whether you’re looking into male masturbators for the first time, or you’re looking to add some fun new toys to your already existing collection, you’re in the right place. You see, some guys are always the first to try out the newest burger joint in town, but I’m the first to try out the newest on the market. Personally, I find my hobby far more enjoyable – and I don’t have to worry about gaining a few extra pounds when pursuing my hobby.
Okay, so I have to assume that some of you reading this have never tried a masturbation toy for men before. That’s cool! But honestly, what have you been waiting for?
I digress. If you’re a serious newbie to the pleasure that is a male masturbator , then you might be wondering what a male masturbator even is in the first place. Let’s put it simply: They’re toys that make your jerk-off sessions feel a hell of a lot more realistic. Plus, some of them are automatic so you get to sit back and relax – just like the real deal! So again… sit tight, and listen up. I’ve got all the info you need to choose the best for your needs!
Are you ready? These are (in my experienced opinion anyway) the best male masturbators on the market in 2022.
I’ve been a fan of the Autoblow for a long time now. It was the very first automatic blowjob toy that I ever tried, and I guess part of the reason I probably still like it is just that – I mean, you never forget your first love, right?
For the first time in my life, I could just sit back and relax – literally do nothing – and get a blowjob whenever and wherever I felt like it. I didn’t have to shift my hand back and forth, I just stuck the machine over my dick and it went wild – just working away on that shaft until I jizzed all over the place. I literally didn’t have to do ANYTHING.
And when it finished, it didn’t say ‘my turn now!’ – which I have to admit is f-in’ brilliant. I mean I get it – sex with a partner is amazing, and I don’t mind giving oral sex, but sometimes I just want it to be all about me! And this male masturbator always delivered on this! But the Autoblow came out many years ago, and technology has come a long way since then. It only makes sense that they upgrade their technology which is why I was so stoked when they came out with the A.I.! The newer, better, more sensational male masturbation toy.
The two devices look pretty similar from the outside, however, the A.I. is almost double the width, and has a few more buttons along the side, including my new favourite feature – the ‘pause’ button. (More on that later.) However, I couldn’t give two &^%*s about what the outside looks like on this thing – it’s the inside that really counts, and that’s where they’ve gone all out! I always thought the device felt good (and obviously the automation was key) but as new male masturbators came out, I found that the original Autoblow was getting left behind in the way of technology and new ideas. And well, looks like the makers of the toy felt the same way.
The difference between the two versions of the Autoblow is that the A.I. is much, much better. Hallelujah! The “A.I.” stands for (perhaps you guessed it) Artificial Intelligence . Can you believe it? Through watching and analysing thousands of minutes of porn, they found a way to replicate the most common ways that real live women perform blowjobs. And they’ve sealed up all that greatness inside the newest version of the Autoblow. Plus, they’ve created a new and improved inside working as well – with a patent pending gripper that makes it feel like you’re getting sucked and jerked all at once. It’s such a big improvement – I mean, the thing feels like a nice firm grip around your cock as you get sucked. It’s definitely far more realistic than the old version! And just like the original, it’s still super easy to clean and it plugs directly into the wall so there’s no need to ever worry about batteries.
If you want to make sure you’re getting the most pleasure out of this thing as possible, I’d suggest a few pointers on how to use it.
I’m not going to lie. There’s nothing that tops a super hot chick (with no strings attached) who’s down there going to town on my dick like it’s her last supper. However, the amount of times that has happened I can count on one hand. Or even half a hand (if I’m being generous). So that being said, the Autoblow is a pretty close second.
The material of the sleeve is made out of an incredible skin-like material that feels absolutely amazing – especially once it’s all lubed up. And then the new grip and pull system on the other side of the sleeve is incredible. It’s so tight, and strokes your entire cock at once really mimicking the feeling of a good deep-throat blowjob – or even sex for that matter. Depending on what fantasy I’ve got going in my head, or what porn I’m watching, I can imagine it being either. And the best part? It’s fully automatic! So you literally just stick the device on your hard cock and let it go to work! You change the speeds as you wish, but otherwise it does all the work for you, leaving your hands free to roam to other places. Play with your balls, pinch your nipples, play video games or scroll for porn – seriously – this automatic male masturbator allows you so much freedom! (and fun!)
And for me, one of the best new features that they’ve added is the pause button. One of the great things about hands free male masturbators is that I can edge myself into a real intense orgasm (and learn to last longer when I make it into bed with a real hottie, too.) On the old versions of the toy (and all other male masturbators I’ve tried to date) when you stop it just before orgasm and restart it, you have to go through all the settings again before you get it just where you want it. Well NO MORE my friends. Instead of shutting the machine off, you simply hit the pause button to stop it. And when you hit it again, the machine gets back to exactly what it was doing before the pause. Trust me, it’s a feature you’re going to love!
So all in all, if you’re looking for a real feel-good masturbator for men, and automation is something that you’re interested in, this is my top choice. It never runs out of batteries, it feels amazing, and it’s super easy to clean.
The Lelo F1s Developer’s Kit has been one of the most highly anticipated and innovative male masturbators to ever come out. This cool gadget has everything you need and more. It will vibrate, it will send sonic waves, and on top of it all, the F1s will tell you how well you did.
Without further ado, let’s jump right into the review and see if the F1s truly is one of the best male masturbators on the market right now.
The simplest way to describe the Lelo’s F1s Developer’s Kit is as a male masturbator. It does have a motor that allows it to vibrate, thus stimulating the base of your dong and sending spine-chilling pleasures. But that’s literally the least interesting thing it does (yeah, I know, but stay with me).
Lelo equipped the F1s with its trademark SenSonic technology. The company pioneered this technology with Lelo Sona, which is one of the most popular vibrators for women in the world. Now you’re probably wondering, Well, what the hell will that do for me?
The SenSonic technology allows this masturbation toy to emit sonic waves deep inside your tip. Even though I’ve been in the sex toy game for a really long time, I’ve honestly never experienced that with any other masturbators for men. The vibrations and the sonic waves work simultaneously to provide you with the best O of your entire life.
In addition to the SenSonic technology, Lelo decided to push the F1s one step further. With every F1s purchase, you’ll get access to the Lelo SDK. Basically, if you’ve got the skills and want to amp up your experience with the F1s, you can tinker with the app as much as you want.
It’s such a cool feature and completely unique to the world of masturbation toys for men. I honestly haven’t seen any other sex toy companies try to do this, but I’m so happy that Lelo did.
Now, I had to dedicate a special section of my F1s review to talk about how the toy actually arrives. It’s just so over the top and extra, but I love it.
You’ll, of course, get the basics and the things you actually need to play with the toy. So when you buy the F1s, you’ll get the male masturbator, a USB charging cable, and an instruction manual. You’ll also get your warranty and a black silky pouch that you can use for storage later.
But where Lelo really blew me away was when it sent a pair of black and red racing gloves. The company also sent over a do not disturb sign that reads DON’T. F1s experiment in progress. I love that Lelo went the extra mile to make the whole experience more fun for its customers.
While the box sure is a cool perk, I actually want to talk about what makes the F1s one of the best male masturbators on the market. For one, the toy is completely rechargeable and waterproof. There’s also a body-safe silicone inside that’s really soft and supple, and that feels incredible on your dong.
On a full charge, the F1s can last up to two whole hours! The strong battery, coupled with the Cruise Control feature, means that you can thrust until your heart gives out. Lelo promises that the F1s will never drop its intensity, no matter how hard you’re polishing your pole.
The only thing that I didn’t like about the F1s Developer’s Kit was the total insertable length, which is 4.25 inches. Also, the diameter is around 1.5 inches, which means if you’re well-hung, you might not be able to totally fit inside.
Of course, even if your Schwanz is more than 4.25 inches long, you can still absolutely use the toy. But it won’t envelop the base of your third leg, and it might feel left out.
Tracking your stats and changing the vibrations has never been easier than with the F1s. All you have to do to get the ball rolling is download and connect to the Lelo demo app. Luckily, it’s available on both Google Play and App Store .
But if you’re having some trouble figuring out how to do it, Lelo put out an instructional video. There, you can see all the steps you need to complete to connect the app to the F1s.
If you want to see what the future of male masturbation toys holds, then absolutely buy the F1s Developer’s Kit. The sonic waves are a sensation out of this world and something that I think everyone should experience. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to “testing” the F1s. I just need to double-check some things to make sure I haven’t missed anything.
So the 3Fap is made by the same people who make the Autoblow. And I have to admit, the guy behind this line is my hero. This guy actually hosted a “World’s Best Vagina Contest”. I mean seriously? That’s genius. He had women from all over the globe sending him pictures of their pussy – and then had people vote on the best looking ones online. The top three vaginas were then invited to meet him in person where he took a 3D scan of each their vaginas (I’m talking inside and out!) and then turned those scans into real male masturbators. So essentially, he has allowed all of us men the opportunity to screw the three most beautiful vaginas in the world! What a guy, right?
And that’s what makes the 3Fap such an awesome male sex toy . The 3Fap allows you to screw all three beautiful vaginas in one sitting. Or, if you prefer, you can put it in the mouth, then the vagina and finish up in the butt… sounds like a dream, right?
I know, what I’m saying probably doesn’t make a lot of sense – yet! But let me explain. The 3Fap is kind of like three different male strokers all made into one. Like, literally. First of all, I must explain that there are two version for you to choose from which are as follows:
So the first version of the 3Fap is, as you can see above, all three of the vagina contest winners. The three different sleeves come attached together in a line, and you insert this sleeve into the hard case and go at it adjusting the tightness as you wish (more on that later).
In this interesting version, instead of having the 3 most amazing vaginas to stick your dick into, you get a mouth, a pussy and an ass. Each of the three sleeves have a different internal pattern so you’re going to notice a bit difference from one to the next. Plus, of course – the different orifice entrances will also feel different. And again, you can choose your tightness and bang away.
Okay, so aside from the fact that you can stick your dick into three different pussies, or put it in whatever hole you want (how many times are you going to hear this in your life, right?) one of the coolest aspects of the 3Fap is that you can control the suction on each individual sleeve. Once you insert the set of sleeves into the hard casing there is an easy-to-use dial that increases or decreases the suction on each of the sleeves. Want to make that ass extra tight? Crank up that suction! Want to make sure you can feel an even bigger difference from mouth to anus? Change the suctions again!
Honestly, you wouldn’t believe the kind of fun you can have with this thing. It really lets the imagination run and you can easily imagine you’re having some pretty hot and kinky sex since each sleeve feels so different. Even without the suction control you’re going to notice huge differences in the shaft of each sleeve.
This isn’t the most discreet toy – I’ve got to be honest here. It’s basically like three individual Fleshlights or other strokers were just joined up side-by-side so it’s not small. I’ve seen some reviews were guys have said that they thought the whole thing was too bulky for them – but for me, I think it’s great to actually have something to hold onto when I’m playing around. Kind of like when you take your woman from behind and grab onto her ass and thighs – it gives you something to hang onto. And of course, the sleeves are easily inserted into the casing, and easy to change out if you want to get both version for some variety.
Plus, the suction dials are very easy to use, even when you’re in the middle of getting yourself off. Some of the male masturbators on the market attempt to be fancy when all they end up doing is making things difficult. But that’s not the case here. The 3Fap is easy to set up, easy to change the dials, and easy to blow your load – in three different places if you can!
As for cleaning, the sleeves are very similar to that of the A.I. masturbator, except that they’re attached together. As long as you get the water and soap (or toy cleaner) inside you’ll be fine! Pretty easy to clean, and just leave them sitting out upside down to make sure they dry before putting them away!
If you’re looking for a realistic male masturbator that is going to last you a long, long time – then this is the toy for you! As far as exciting bells and whistles, you won’t find much of that here – but what you WILL find is a high-quality, super tight, long-lasting and easy to clean masturbator. And to top it all off, it’s modeled after the #1 winner of the World’s Best Vagina Contest – not bad, right?
Honestly, this is such a simple (yet incredibly effective) masturbator for men! Just pour a bit of lube around the opening and on the head of your cock. Then slip it in and begin moving your hand back and forth like you’d normally do to jerk yourself off. The difference tho? It feels way, way better!
Inside of the stroker are these little nubs or ‘pleasure bumps’ I think they’re actually called – and they line the entire inside of the masturbator giving you an incredible sensation all over your shaft. The black version has ridges instead of bumps, so whichever one feels better to you. Personally, I have both so I can switch it up. But whichever you choose, prepare to be delighted. Both give you quite a ride! And magically, this realistic male masturbator seems to be one size fits all – and it actually fits all sizes!
Easy. You can adjust the tightness of the stroker by simply squeezing harder or softer. Because there is no hard casing around the outside of the stroker when you squeeze harder, the stroker wraps tighter around your cock. Release your grip, and the toy loosens. It’s so simple to use, but it works like magic. You can play around with different pressures as you stroke which makes it feel all the more like your woman is tightening and releasing her vagina – a truly exceptional experience!
Plus, don’t forget that because the Lifetime Stroker is made from 100% silicone, and has no automated parts, it’s completely waterproof! Use it in the shower, the lake, the swimming pool – this toy knows no boundaries. Have fun with it!
I mentioned it earlier, but 100% silicone male masturbators are so easy to clean and maintain good hygiene. Just rinse it off with a mild soap and water and let it dry. If you’re concerned about bacteria getting inside, just dip the entire toy into a pot of boiled water for a few minutes. This toy is basically indestructible – the makers actually have a video showing how many ways they tried to destroy it -(including cooking it with pasta, freezing it, filling it with food and more) and it just doesn’t work. So if you’re looking for an awesome toy that’s going to last, this is it!
Okay, so I already mentioned the ‘World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Competition’ when I talked about the 3Fap – because with that toy you get all three of the top beautiful vaginas in one. However, the toy is a bit bulky… so if that’s not something that interests you, it’s definitely worth mentioning the fact that you can get each of the three winning pussies separately. Plus, they have a pretty cool feature of their own that is definitely worth checking out!
The Vagina Contest male masturbators have a clear shaft. Yeah, that’s right. And clear masturbators are something that I have a bit of a soft-spot for. When I originally tried them, I didn’t really see what the big deal was. ‘Okay, it’s clear – isn’t that a bit weird?’ I thought. But when I stuck my member inside, and could see him moving back and forth, I was surprisingly very turned on. I never knew that watching my own dick inside of a clear tube could be that much fun.
I mean, perhaps it’s the fact that my dick looks huge – I mean it really does. That clear material seems to act as a magnifying glass or something, and when it’s moving around in there with the lubricant, it’s actually pretty magical. I mean we all love to watch ourselves go in and out of a real chick, right? But this way you also get to see what’s happening inside. And it’s pretty epic. I recommend it.
Plus, of course, you get to choose to stick it any of the three most beautiful vaginas in the WORLD. Pretty sick.
The guys over at Autoblow made replicas of the top three vaginas voted on in the World’s Best Vagina Competition. Apparently, they used a 3D scanner that allowed them to replicate the women within 0.1mm – that’s pretty insane if you ask me. And a GREAT use of our modern technology!
So, that being said, you’ve got three options to choose from:
Nell is a 27 year old graphic designer from the United Kingdom, and she (according to global votes) has the most beautiful vagina in the world. The clear shaft of the masturbator has a corkscrew design on the inside that will be sure to get your juices flowing! Plus do I need to repeat myself? Watching yourself ram it in there is sure to take you over the edge.
Jenny is a 23 year old lawyer from Germany and received the award of second-most-beautiful vagina in the whole world. Inside the clear shaft of the stroker you’ll find a very pleasurable ribbed texture that you’re sure to love.
Meet Anita. She is the third-place winner of the beautiful vagina contest and is a 29 year old psychology student from Hungary. Inside th
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