Masturbate Taboo
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Masturbate Taboo
By Hannah Orenstein and Yerin Kim Updated: Jul 1, 2021
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Because you probably didn't learn this in school.
Fun fact: Masturbation can be awesome! In fact, a lot of teens do it, and enjoying it doesn't make you weird. So, why masturbate? Teen sex health outlet Sex Etc said it best. "Masturbation is a good way to learn about your body and your sexual feelings without the complications that can come when you have sex or do sexual things with someone else." You can feel good without having to worry about risks like unwanted pregnancy or contracting an STD.
Which is why, if you're wondering how it is that you get aroused or what arousal feels like, masturbation is a great way to dip your toe into learning about pleasure and your body. And I'm talking about more than just your genitals. Your bod has various erogenous zones, which are areas of your body that are more sensitive than others. Think: your ears, neck, inner thighs, nipples... the list goes on.
Beyond learning about your body, masturbating will also help you get insight into what settings get you in the mood. You might like to listen to sensual music and dim the lights before you try masturbating. Maybe there's a time of day that you feel particularly turned on. Perhaps there's literotica fan fiction that makes you feel all the things. Don't be afraid to experiment and see what works for you. There is no right or wrong way to masturbate!
So, if your sex ed class skipped over the masturbation spiel, don't worry, we talked to Ellen Kate Friedrichs , a health and sexuality educator in Brooklyn, NY to find out everything you need to know.
1. Masturbation refers to touching your own body for sexual pleasure. Like your vulva, clitoris, labia, vagina, breasts, or anus.
2. It involves more than just your vagina. Your sex ed classes might have glossed over the clitoris, but most people actually experience pleasure through clitoral stimulation, not vaginal penetration.
3. It's totally normal. One 2016 study found that 85.5% of female participants said they masturbated at some point in their lives, with women starting at average at age 13 and 14.
4. Guys do it, too. That same study found that 98.9% of male participants have masturbated, starting around 12 and 13.
5. It doesn't make you a bad/weird/gross person. You're not a freak or a pervert. It's not weird or gross. On the flip side, if you don't masturbate, that doesn't mean you're a prude or there's anything wrong with you. It's a totally normal thing that can help you explore your body and get more in tune with it, but if it isn't for you, NBD.
6. It's a helpful way to learn about your body. No two bodies are the same, so no two people like the exact same rhythms or movements. It'll take some trial and error to figure out exactly what works for you, and it's easier to do this without the pressure of having a partner right in front you. "You can learn about your body before you ever have sex with a partner and then, down the line, you can show a partner what you like," Friedrichs says.
7. You might have an orgasm. When a person is aroused, their muscles tense up. An orgasm is the release of all that tension , plus a rush of an endorphin called serotonin that spills into your blood stream. "These chemicals can cause intensely pleasurable feelings and can make someone feel happy, giddy or sleepy," Friedrichs says. "It can be hard to tell if you have had an orgasm since every body will experience orgasm a bit differently. But if you think of it like a roller coaster ride, with the moment before you descend being the peak of orgasm, it can help."
8. Orgasms don't happen instantly. "Don't give up, even if you think it isn't working," Friedrichs says, estimating that it might take you anywhere between a minute or an hour (or more) to have one.
9. But an orgasm isn't necessary to enjoy the experience. "While orgasms are nice and most people can learn to orgasm, if you like masturbating and aren't orgasming, that's fine too," Friedrichs adds.
10. It's the safest form of sex. Yep, masturbation is a form of sex — solo sex. And since there's no risk whatsoever of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, you can enjoy it without worrying about your health or safety.
11. You should wash your hands first. Clean hands prevent introducing bacteria into your body. When you're getting intimate, clean hands = the best kind of hands.
12. Make sure to pee when you're done. The most common cause of urinary tract infections (which can make you feel like you need to constantly pee and potentially lead to more serious complications) is when bacteria from the anus accidentally travels into the urethra. You might have heard that you can get a UTI from wiping the wrong way when using the bathroom — back to front, instead of front to back — but they can also occur if you touch your anus before touching your vagina (even if your finger just grazes the area accidentally). Peeing helps flush out any potential bacteria.
13. You can masturbate and still be a virgin. "Most people believe that a virgin is someone who hasn't had sex with another person, not someone who has never had anything in their vagina," Friedrichs explains. So if you insert a finger inside your vagina, but haven't had sex with a partner, you're still a virgin .
14. Masturbating won't make you looser down there. Unless you're doing it so frequently it's interfering with the rest of your life, it's absolutely healthy and fine to enjoy solo sex. You won't suddenly become looser down there and it won't ruin your ability to enjoy being with a partner — those are both myths.
15. If your boyfriend or girlfriend masturbates, it doesn't mean they're not into you. You can be totally satisfied with your relationship and still touch yourself. "Sometimes people worry about this out of insecurity or because they have a misunderstanding about what masturbating is all about," Friedrichs says, noting that a lot of people report masturbating more often when they're happy in their relationships. So if anything, take your partner's actions as a compliment.
16. You can use some toys as well. Sex toys aren't just for having sex. According to a study, 43% of women "sometimes" use a toy when they are masturbating, compared to just 13% of men.
17. It can help you deal with stress. According to Planned Parenthood, having an orgasm releases endorphins, which can make you feel better and help you with your stress.
18. Masturbation can help you with your period cramps. Yup, you read that right. Those same endorphins can be a natural pain killer for your period cramps, says Planned Parenthood.
19. You can do it everyday. While you may be worried about masturbating "too much," it's totally normal to do it once (or even twice) a day. According to Planned Parenthood, as long as it doesn't get in the way of spending time with friends, family, school, activities, etc., you're in the clear.
20. It can help you sleep. Some experts suggest to include masturbation in your nighttime routine, doing it right before you go to sleep. One study shows that having an orgasm increases the production of prolactin in the body, a sleep-inducing hormone.
Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches. She's also the Deputy Editor of Dating at Elite Daily. She lives in Brooklyn.
Yerin Kim is the Assistant Editor for Snapchat Discover at Seventeen, covering beauty, sex & health, lifestyle, and entertainment. Originally from New Jersey but raised in Seoul, she is a proud Syracuse grad who loves fluffy puppies and a good Instagram opp. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram!
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Turn your phone off and get off.
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Well, I guess it's time.
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Ah yes, the perfect opportunity to , uh, juggle your fruit
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Get out! Leave! Right now!
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No idea what she's doing under the table but it definitely feels anxious.
Credit: Getty Images / Tom Fullum
Alexa, order me some CBD lube, please.
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It takes two!
Credit: Getty Images / Portra images
Masturbating > melatonin
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It's time! To masturbate.
Credit: Getty Images / YakobchukOlena
Kill two birds with one shower.
Credit: Getty Images / MilanMarkovic
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May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself , a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.
May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.
Masturbating, like ice cream, comes in many different flavors.
Since getting off doesn't require another person, the possibilities of where, when, and how you do it are seemingly endless. Sometimes it's an unexpected endeavor and other times it's a planned event.
The good thing is is that you get to be in control of your own nut, and — with a few exceptions like work and social acceptance — you can get it whenever you want. Even if you have a partner, sometimes it's just better to take matters into your own hand.
Without further adieu, here are some various forms of masturbation:
Sometimes, Netflix gets stale and all that's left to do is chill. And by chill I mean masturbate. On those occasions when the Instagram Explore page is no longer worth scrolling, explore yourself instead.
This is the kind of masturbation that happens on a whim. One moment you're watching Killing Eve , and the next you're humping the couch. Nothing in particular spurs the sudden moment of horniness, but once it's arisen, it's got to be dealt with.
Perhaps one of the best atmospheres for fondling oneself is in an empty apartment or house. You can be as loud and unabashed as you want.
Having roommates is a total ball buster when you're trying to bust your balls. They don't need to stop you from pleasuring yourself, though. Just tell them you're taking a nap. Or use the old sock-on-the-doorknob trick. Getting your nut while the roomies are in the next room can be stressful, but it doesn't mean it's impossible.
According to Planned Parenthood , masturbating can be a huge stress reliever. While it might be difficult to get in the mood while you're having a panic attack, it may help extinguish said panic. Big test? Masturbate! Job interview? Masturbate!
With the rise of legal weed, it's no surprise that many indulge in masturbating while stoned. According to Vice , there's strong evidence that cannabis does indeed make for a more powerful orgasm. So puff, puff, pass-turbate.
If your partner is down, masturbating mutually can be an exciting experience. It gives both parties a chance to show off how they tickle their pickles. Plus, it could bring you and your partner closer — literally. Like the Beatles once said: "Come together, right now!"
Why settle for a glass of warm milk when you could just get off instead? Nothing inspires a night of delicious dreaming like an orgasm before dozing off.
Masturbating first thing in the morning can be choice, especially after having a particularly spicy dream.
Given the wet and private nature of showers, they're a reliable spot for masturbating. And you don't need to worry about clogging your pipes with semen. That, my friends, is just a college campus-birthed myth . Also, soap is NOT a lube.
So, what're you waiting for? Turn yourself on and get yourself off. Give yourself a hand. You deserve it.
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This post is part of Mashable's Masturbation Week . May is National Masturbation Month, so we're celebrating by exploring the many facets of self-love.
Look, we've all been there. Sometimes, the need to pleasure yourself overrides all common sense and you're left with an incredibly embarrassing — though hopefully very entertaining -- story to share to millions of strangers on the internet.
Here are our ten favorite stories of masturbation gone wrong from the depths of Reddit. Hopefully you can't relate to any of the horrors below.
"This story isn't quite as funny as some of yours, but... One time, when I was about 12 or 13, I had the sweet idea of taking the seeds out of a cucumber, putting it in the microwave, and humping it. I was super excited about my new cucumber fleshlight. I start humping, but instead of pleasure, I felt burning. I put the cucumber in the microwave for too long. I had blisters on my shaft for several days. They were excruciating. Let me tell ya.. Gym class was a new level of hell for me."
Reddit user pizz901 shared the horrific tale:
I have epilepsy. One night I was going at it in my bed and lo and behold I have a seizure. So naturally my parents hear something and have to come in to me seizing on the bed dick out porn on the computer. Very embarrassing to have to find out from them (since I lose a bit of memory of the event and am unconscious during it). All I can say is it must have been one hell of an orgasm to make me seize (more than the usual jerky cumming movements anyway).
This story comes from Reddit user funny-chubby-awesome :
"My high school best friend, let's call her Hillary, approached me about masturbation. I was the expert on sex, as I had a bf and had gone down on him 1.5 times. I told her my technique (rub it 'til it feels good, don't stop) and she showed me that month's Cosmo. Find your best O ever - the G-spot. We read the article and she tells me she had tried with her fingers to no avail. We decide it needs to be stimulated with something more penis-like. We (mind you, we are VERY experimental 16 year old girls) decide to try it with hot-dogs that night at my house.
She comes over, I go to the fridge and find we only have SPICY KIELBASA! I show her and we decide to still try but cover them in condoms. We sit on my futon, slide our pants/undies down, throw a blanket over our laps... I remember thinking, "Am I sure I want to do this?", but I hear her, like, moaning so I....plunge ahead. IT HURTS! And it's like burning and I feel weird. At that moment my mother BURSTS in (drunk) and starts screaming at us! She insists we're doing drugs and questions the blanket over us. I finally convince her to leave and remove the sausage. Hillary hands me hers and I go to throw them in the wastebasket. That's the last thing I remember.
Hillary says I passed out and she got my mother. They called an ambulance and the EMT was grilling Hillary about what we were doing. I wasn't breathing. My mom started ranting about drugs and Hillary panicked and told them what was going on.... I wake up in the hospital to: my father (can't look at me), my mother (can't stop laughing), Hillary (in the corner, beet red), and a doctor explaining that I have a latex allergy and had broke my hyman, causing anaphylactic shock.
TL;DR: I masturbated with a condom-covered hot dog and nearly died. And my whole family found out."
Redditor Fapfapthrowaway5573 shared a horrifying tale featuring a grandma and a knife:
One time [my grandma] was staying at my house in the downstairs bedroom. My room is upstairs and the first one at the top of the stairs. I had no lights on or anything (this was before I discovered porn) and I was doing the deed. Well, my door creaks open, but for some reason I didn't think anything of it. I thought I saw a figure but I thought it was my imagination. Well, I keep doing the deed and someone shuffles in and slowly is walking around my room. I realize what is happening and I stop, only to look closer at the figure and she is HOLDING A FUCKING KNIFE. I just stay still and she leaves the same way she came but holy shit it was weird.
Tl;Dr: was masturbating in dark room when my sociopathic grandma walks in with a knife, makes a circle in my room then walks out.
A now-deleted Reddit account posted this nightmare of a masturbation story:
One time I had poison ivy but bef
Russian Mom Masturbate
Lesbian In Bed
Blonde Milf Masturbating