Massive White Penis

Massive White Penis
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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We're not size queens or anything but the HBO comedy Hung —about a man (Thomas Jane) with a large penis—premieres in June, and it got us thinking about big penises, the ultimate status symbol for men*. After the jump, a list of famous ones.
1.) Rasputin** The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.
2.) Liam Neeson In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty , Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."
3.) Jay-Z Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."
Beef & Sweet Potato and Chicken & Carrot are featured in these new baked bundles. Absolutely no fillers, artificial flavoring, or preservatives.
4.) John Holmes Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.
5.) Vincent Gallo Have you ever seen Brown Bunny ? (Link NSFW)
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.
7.) Wilt Chamberlain His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.
8.) Tommy Lee Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen . It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)
9.) Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."
10.) Alexis Arquette Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)
10.) President Johnson "He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘ Jumbo .'"
11.) Errol Flynn He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano . A classical pianist!
12.) James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.
13.) Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm . (Link NSFW)
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.
15.) Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."
16.) Tony Kanal The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.
17.) Tony Danza He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)
18.) Ray J Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)
19.) Dan Rather The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
20.) Simon Rex It's no wonder why he used to do porno.
*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt. **This list is not compiled by size order.

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Meet Micha (or should I say meat?). He is 45 years old, lives in Berlin and is extremely well hung .
But he wasn’t always enormously endowed, a few years ago Micha underwent an irreversible penis enlargement .
His penis now measures a whopping 9 inches in length and 3.5 inches across, which for us sods still using the metric system is nearly 23cm long and 9cm wide. Aka: fucking enormous.
“Whether it weighs 7.5 pounds of 9.5 pounds, I can’t say right now,” he says.
“I just know that my kitchen scale, which shows up to 6.6 pounds, hasn’t been enough for a while.”
Remind me never to borrow your scales for baking , Micha.
Concerns about standards of food preparation aside, Micha is now the the subject of a new documentary from Vice called, wait for it, Monster Meat. Because his giant appendage really does just need to be seen to be believed.
The documentary is both fascinating and actually quite moving. Because behind his giant bulge, Micha is just a shy guy looking for love and self-acceptance .
“I didn’t have my penis enlarged because it makes me feel more beautiful,” he tells the camera, “but rather because it makes me feel better.”
The film explores the underground world of penis enlargement, dangerous procedures, extreme implants and the biggest question of all… Does size really matter?
“If a woman gets a breast enlargement, nobody says anything about it. If a man does something very similar to his body, it’s worth making a whole documentary about,” he says.
“People’s reactions are really different. I definitely get looks.”
Micha also confides that it can be difficult to tell if his partners really love him or just his giant dick.
“There’s always that danger also in a relationship. But I think if you take the time to get to know the other person, then I can tell what I mean to him. Whether he really loves me or just part of me. And then I make a decision, which may be against the partner.”
You can watch the whole thing here. It’s NSFW, but you knew that already (the post continues after the video).
Now, we didn’t include this originally, but by very popular demand, we’ve included an image of Micha naked below (via VICE ).
As for what it looks like from the front, Micha says, “I’ve been told that my penis looks like an ass or a mouth from the front.” How about that?
And to answer the one question that everyone keeps bombarding us with:
How does the penis affect Micha’s sex life? Apparently, “after you reach a certain size, you can’t do certain things any more. At least not with everyone and not without some foreplay. But there are other things you can do with it. You just have to free yourself from established roles and hardened ideas about sex and be ready to play.”
It turns out that there are a few unexpected options: “Of course you can penetrate my foreskin. A lot of guys have offered to do that. But I don’t get a lot out of that sexually.”
As for whether there are any drawback, Micha says his life is fairly ordinary, but “it isn’t as easy as buying a new pair of pants.”
And while we’re talking all things wang… Here are some things tat accidentally look like penises (you’re welcome):
Well hung, indeed. But whatever one’s size, health is also important. More men shoukd use a superior penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) to help fight penis odor, dry/flaky skin, loss of sensation, etc.
Or you could just shower daily and stay off certain drugs which will affect the sensation...

Once again, a photo of a well-proportioned cock.
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Just to clarify, the rest of the slideshow will be like this. You’re definitely going to get six more images of tremendously big, veiny penises here. The next photo is going to be a giant cock, followed by another huge dick, and then another, and so forth.
You guessed it: another huge cock. Look, you had to realize what you were signing up for when you clicked on this link, right? You had to.
No, we’re not going to throw in a photo of something that isn’t a giant cock in order to be clever or misleading. You are, honest to God, getting nothing but really big cocks here. That’s it.
Your persistence is admirable, if misguided given the way the rest of the slideshow will transpire. This is the cock of the guy who made this slideshow, by the way.
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Okay, then. You’ve seen eight colossal cocks so far. Up for a ninth?
This is actually a drawing of a giant cock. A photo of a giant cock was used as a reference.
Well, there you go. You just clicked through a slideshow of giant cocks. That’s where your life is at right now. Enjoy your day.
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