Massage For Sex

Massage For Sex
by Zachary Zane and Ro White Published: Aug 3, 2022
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
It'll be your new favorite foreplay routine.
There are regular massages , which most folks find relaxing, and then there are erotic massages, which can be downright life-changing. Erotic messages are similar to regular ones, except they're aimed at releasing tension and decreasing stress in the recipient by either enhancing or achieving sexual arousal.
If you’re giving an erotic massage, you can’t do it half-assed. After all, your partner will have their full ass in front of you, so you need to give their body all the attention it deserves. There are two essential components of erotic massage, and you need to be good at both. First is the actual massage part. The second part is making it sensual.
Here are 7 steps to giving your partner an erotic massage they’ll remember.
Have your partner disrobe and lie face-down on a firm bed. They can fully or partially cover up with a sheet if they’re feeling shy. Dim the lights, light some candles , and play some relaxing music—it doesn’t need to be typical spa music or the sound of the rainforest, but it should be something that you know your partner finds soothing. If you really want to step your game up, use an essential oil diffuser to pump some soothing scents into the air.
According to Charla Hathaway , an intimacy coach and clinical sexologist who literally wrote the book on erotic massage, there are two things you should do before the massaging begins. First, check in with your partner about their boundaries (are there any areas on your partner’s body that they don’t want massaged or touched?). Then, set some intentions together. “Offer [the] release of something to get rid of—pressure, stress, headiness, etc.—and then light an intention candle for what you both want to bring into the experience—deep breath, self-love, body acceptance, etc.” she says.
Before you start digging into the knots in your partner’s shoulders, help them feel grounded and present in their body using light touch or sensation toys. “Sensation toys to use before any oil is used are feathers, furs, silk scarves, leather floggers, [or] cornstarch on your fingertips,” Hathaway says.
When it’s time for the massaging part, don’t just grab the big bottle of Lubriderm sitting in the cabinet underneath the sink. Use oil to create an authentic massage experience. “I love organic coconut oil for summer, almond oil in the winter,” Hathaway says. You can even use CBD massage oil to make things extra relaxing. Just make sure to check in about your partner’s skin allergies ahead of time.
Pro tip: If you’re massaging a vulva-owner and you’re planning to end the massage with genital stimulation, stick with coconut oil or wash your hands before any vaginal penetration. Some ingredients can disrupt the vagina’s delicate pH balance.
For at least the first 20 minutes of the erotic massage, it should simply look like a regular massage . Don’t head straight to your partner’s erogenous zones. You should help them relax and move towards their sensitive areas slowly. That way, by the time you work your way down to your partner’s genitals, they’re in a physical and mental space to fully receive you.
“Use the heel of your hand to make continuous fluid movements and work the whole length of the muscle,” says Susan Findlay , director of the North London School of Sports Massage. Make sure you're taking your time and focusing on each muscle before moving to the next (at least two minutes per area). If you feel a knot in one place, knead that bad boy out before moving on to another part of their body.
Alright, by now you’ve massaged their neck, their back, so it’s time to move on to…exactly, yes. But jokes aside, you should have given your partner a full body massage at this point. Now you can get to the fun stuff and start teasing them. Get close to touching your partner’s erogenous zones without actually touching them. Instead of going straight for the nipples, massage around the breast. Instead of going straight for the vagina or penis, massage the crease where your partner’s thigh connects to their pelvis. Etc.
Once you’ve teased your partner long enough, then and only then do you get to actually touch their sexy parts. By this point, they should be stewing in sexual tension, so even the lightest touch might make them moan. Start with a light hand job or circular motions around a partner’s clitoris. After some time, you can take things to the next level, whether that’s digital penetration , a firmer hand job , direct clitoral stimulation , or oral sex . If you want your partner to enjoy multiple sensations at once, Hathaway suggests asking your partner to “help.” Maybe they can touch their own clitoris while you penetrate their vagina, or maybe they play with their ass while you give your partner a blow job.
If you’ve done everything right, there’s a high likelihood that your partner will orgasm after all of this build-up; after that, they’ll feel very relaxed. Join your partner for a post-orgasm cuddle session. Then take everything you’ve learned about your partner’s body and put it to use the next time you’re in the sack.
And keep practicing erotic massage, too! If you and your partner massage each other on a regular basis, it might bring you closer together. “Make erotic massage a ritual,” Hathway says. “Once a month, to learn more about each other.”
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS , at Civilized .
Ro White is a Chicago-based writer, sex educator, and Autostraddle’s Sex & Dating Editor.
The 25 Best Men's Health Sex Tips Ever
10 Ways to Play With Your Partner's Breasts
26 Foreplay Tips to Make Sex Even Better
17 Women on Why They Actually Love Giving Blowjobs
5 Easy Ways to Get Her In the Mood For Sex
This Is How Long Sex Actually Lasts For Most Couples
5 Hot Sex Toys Every Couple Should Try
Why Sexting Can Make Your Sex Life Even Hotter
8 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner For a Hotter Sex Life
3 Things Lesbians Can Teach You About the Female Orgasm
How to Make Sure She’s Enjoying Sex Just As Much As You Are
STUDY: Women Don’t Give a S*** About Your Penis Size
Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through links on our site.
©Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy . Cookie Settings
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/03\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-1-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-1-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/03\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-1-Version-4.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-1-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"\u00a9 2022 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Clean and groom yourself. To make the experience as sensual as possible, both of you should feel comfortable, clean, and fresh. Bathe and groom yourself, paying particular attention to your hands and fingernails. Your fingers should be clean and clipped before you give a sensual massage.

If you're giving your partner a massage, consider bathing together to initiate the intimacy. Bathing or showering at the same time can be a great way to get the massage time started.
It can also be fun to start with a massage and then, after things get oily, to hop in the tub afterward and clean off some of that oil.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/7f\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-2-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-2-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/7f\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-2-Version-4.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-2-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2022 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Make the massage space comfortable and inviting. Whether you're massaging someone on a professional massage table or on a bed or other surface, it's important to make the person getting the massage as comfortable as possible. Make sure the room is warm enough to be undressed in, if clothes are coming off, and make sure the sheets are clean and fresh. Light some candles and incense to make the room feel special.

It's sometimes common to use hot stones, blindfolds, rolling pins, and a variety of other implements in the massage, but sometimes it's also best to keep it as simple as possible. You don't need to prepare an elaborate display of tools to make the massage sensual and enjoyable for your partner.
Some gentle music can be a welcome addition to a sensual massage, or a corny and uncomfortable mistake. Ask your partner what they would prefer, and avoid the Barry White cliches.
You could also set up a diffuser with a soothing essential oil, like lavender or bergamot. [1]
X
Expert Source

Justyna Kareta Certified Master Massage Therapist

Expert Interview. 10 December 2019.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/5a\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-3-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-3-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5a\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-3-Version-4.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-3-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Use an appropriate variety of massage oil. While it's possible to give a halfway decent massage without any oil, your partner will be missing out big time. It's much more comfortable and sensual to use a natural massage oil to give a massage.

Commercial massage oils are often scented in a variety of fragrances, which can offer an intense sensual experience for a massage. Some people might prefer unscented oils, but try out a few to see what works best.
You don't have to buy oil specifically made for massage. While it may sound weird, cooking oils like olive, coconut, or cocoa butter can make excellent massage oils. [2]
X
Expert Source

Marty Morales Professional Massage Therapist

Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.

Many masseurs prefer using a basic cooking oil on the skin.
You can also make your own massage oil by submerging lavender, calendula, rosemary, or other fragrant herbs or essential oils in a natural oil yourself. You can save money by mixing up batches of your own and saving it in jars.
Since massage oils soak into the skin, always purchase high-quality oils. Jojoba and almond oil are some good options. [3]
X
Expert Source

Justyna Kareta Certified Master Massage Therapist

Expert Interview. 10 December 2019.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/10\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/10\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Talk with your partner first. The most important part of a sensual massage has nothing to do with where to put your hands. A massage won't be sensual if it doesn't involve trust and emotional intimacy. Both before and during the massage, it's important to talk and listen. [4]
X
Expert Source

Marty Morales Professional Massage Therapist

Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.

When you're massaging, ask questions like, "Is that too firm?" or "Does that feel good?" when you move to a new area of the body. Listen and adjust your massage accordingly. [5]
X
Expert Source

Justyna Kareta Certified Master Massage Therapist

Expert Interview. 10 December 2019.

It's also good to avoid turning the massage into an interview. Use your judgment and listen to the sounds your partner makes. Moans of pleasure are good signs, so keep doing what you're doing.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d0\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-5-Version-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-5-Version-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d0\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-5-Version-6.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-5-Version-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Warm the oil with your hands. Take a generous portion of oil into your hands and rub it in to warm it up, then gently spread the oil onto the part of your partner that you're massaging. It's generally typical to start with the back and shoulders. [6]
X
Research source

Never pour oil directly onto the back of your partner if it's cold. This can be startling and uncomfortable, and it can make your partner feel tense. Warm the oil up yourself and periodically add more, if the skin starts to dry out, or the oil gets worked in.
If you want to heat massage oil, do so only very gently, and always test it on your own skin before applying it directly onto your partner.
Alternatively, you can put the oil bottle in a bowl of warm water to warm it up. [7]
X
Expert Source

Marty Morales Professional Massage Therapist

Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b4\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-6-Version-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-6-Version-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b4\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-6-Version-6.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-6-Version-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Use firm and even pressure with the palms of your hands. Massage techniques can vary widely, but there's no big secret to making your partner feel good. Use and firm, but gentle touch, rubbing long strokes along your partners muscles. Use the base of your palm to do the bulk of the pushing, and use other parts of your hand to get at the sensitive spots.

Remember that it's important to massage along muscles, not pushing on bones. It doesn't really feel good to push hard onto the point of someone's elbow, but it does feel good to massage the inside of the forearm.
Try an experiment if you've never given a massage before, rubbing your own shoulders and seeing where it feels good. Find these same spots on your partner, and remember how firmly you touched your own shoulder. It should translate.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/57\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-7-Version-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-7-Version-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/57\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-7-Version-6.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-7-Version-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Use your thumbs for areas of tension. In general, you want to start the massage by using long, even strokes, then go back to problematic or sore spots to work more with your thumbs. If you find a spot that feels very good to your partner, or that your partner wants you to work harder, switch to your thumbs for extra support and pressure.
Always be gentle, rubbing your thumbs in circular motions along the back of your partner's calves, just above the buttocks, and the lower back area.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a3\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-8-Version-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-8-Version-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a3\/Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-8-Version-5.jpg\/aid1351103-v4-728px-Give-a-Sensual-Massage-Step-8-Version-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Focus on neglected areas of the body. Everyone knows that it feels good to touch genitals and other erogenous zones. But diving straight to these areas
Big Tit Chubby Sex
Slipthegames
Adam&Eve.Com

Massage For Sex

Report Page