Mary Louise Parker Mr Skin
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I'd always dreamed of a movie star asking me to get naked, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. UPDATE: New photographs (and a recipe) from Mary-Louise Parker — plus videos !
I'd always dreamed of a movie star asking me to get naked, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. Mary-Louise Parker was considering posing nude for Esquire but had an unusual--by which I mean deeply disturbing--request: that the editor of the piece pose naked as well. Huh. The editor. That would be me. That's problematic. I pointed out that my nipples weren't fit for mass consumption. I mentioned the possibility of subscription cancellations. "Well, think about it," she said.
I told my wife, counting on her to be equally disturbed. "Oh, you have to do it," she said. "It's only fair." (My wife later confessed that she thought a nude photo in a national magazine would finally force me to start doing ab crunches.) I told my boss, who was also unnervingly enthusiastic. "Maybe we could shoot you the way we did Monica Bellucci on our cover, with caviar on your chest." He wasn't kidding. This was not going well.
A few days later, I was in a cab on the way to the studio with Esquire's design director, who kept assuring me that there would be nothing edible on my solar plexus and no Mapplethorpian whips in my orifices. This would be very classy, an homage to a famous Yves Saint Laurent nude. Classy. An adjective I'm sure Linda Lovelace heard a few times.
In the dim, hangar-sized studio, they poured me chilled wine, put on a Norah Jones CD, handed me a white terry-cloth robe, and apologized for not having a fluffer. Everyone had a good laugh at that one. I took off my robe and sat cross-legged on this red cushion. The humiliation level? I'd say moderate to high--about the same as when I inadvertently drooled on my desk in sixth grade.
There was Nigel--the very nice British photographer--who kept telling me to "soook in yer goot!" which I eventually figured out was a reference to my problematic stomach. There was the look of horror when I lowered my leg too much and exposed what Nigel called my "chopper." There was the monumental indifference displayed by the cute young female assistants to my naked form, which apparently held as much allure as a wicker table. There was the evidence of my low position on the media chain: As I was leaving, they began setting up for Mary-Louise, bringing in the couscous and grilled chicken and champagne. But at least there were no problems with my chopper misbehaving. (I was genuinely worried about this; I had brought along a photo of my late grandma, just in case.)
So what did I learn from the exercise? Maybe more respect for the actresses I ask to pose naked. Certainly more respect for the transformative power of good lighting and goot-sucking. Certainly more sympathy for the parents involved. (When I told my mom, she looked at me in the way I imagine John Walker Lindh's mom did when he told her he'd chosen a career in the Taliban military.) And I learned to never, ever scribble anonymous notes on nude photos around the office, like the one suggesting that I invest in several bottles of Nair. I saw that.
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People.com Health Mary-Louise Parker Bitter over Nude Scene
Plus, the Weeds star adds, "I look okay for 44"
By Liz Berman Updated May 18, 2009 12:15 PM
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© Copyright PEOPLE.com . All rights reserved. Printed from https://people.com
Mary-Louise Parker Bitter over Nude Scene
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Mary-Louise Parker has always been fine with the sex scenes in her role as Nancy Botwin, a marijuana-selling suburban mom in the Showtime series Weeds , but she thinks that a recent nude scene of her in the bathtub took things a little too far.
“I didn’t think I needed to be naked,” she tells MORE magazine in its June issue. “I fought with the director about it, and now I am bitter. I knew it was going to be on the Internet: ‘Mary Louise shows off her big nipples.’ I wish I hadn’t done that. I was goaded into it.”
The show’s co-executive producer, Roberto Benabib, defended the moment, stating that the nudity was necessary to convey the character’s vulnerability. “We felt at that point in her life, defenses had been so thoroughly stripped away,” he says. “There was a nonchalance to the nudity that informed the scene I thought it was wonderful, one of the five best scenes Mary-Louise has ever done [on Weeds ].”
Despite being bitter over the nude scene, Parker still very much enjoys playing her character on the show. “I like it the more extreme it is,” she says. “But I don’t like it when it’s crass and crude for humor’s sake, and I don’t like when it’s sentimental, when she’s a sweet mother. To me, she’s not that.”
Parker also talks about the pressures to look young in Hollywood, but she’s not giving in to the knife anytime soon. “Somebody told me that they’d read I had all this work done, and showed me a picture and it was totally airbrushed … it made me so mad,” she says. “I don’t like what that says to other women. I’m 44 and I look okay for 44. I’m not trying to look 34.”
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Esquire
has always taken a gentlemanly approach to the pin-up photo. Let
Maxim
grease up spray-tanned starlets.
Esquire
‘s game is to dub
some top-drawer actress
a “Woman We Love” (not, say, a “Woman We Ogle”), pen a purplish essay on the woman’s charms, often making reference to her wits, brains, and less obvious body parts (some ”
cayenne hair
,” an exposed ”
right clavicle
,” ”
long, ribbony limbs
,” etc.), and then convince her to cavort in swimwear or lingerie.
Or, in the case of
Mary Louise Parker this month
: In an apron. And nothing else. Our colleagues at
Double X
have already
discussed
the tush-baring photos. But I’m interested in something else: How the imperatives of ”
search engine optimization
” have forced
Esquire
to drop its genteel mask and confess that—yes—it’s luring horny readers by snapping women naked, just like the laddie mags. Consider the disparity between the text of the Parker article, which refers to her “long, platinum neck” and “deep, Guinness eyes,” and the text in the title tag, that headline in the bar at the top of your browser window, which is what search engines like Google pay particular attention to: It reads “Mary Louise Parker Naked Photos - Mary Louise Parker Ass - Esquire.” You can find similar disparities in recent pieces on Katy Perry (”
gigantic” eyes
vs. “Katy Perry Hot - Sexy Pictures of Katy Perry”) and Anna Friel (”
rainbow leggings
” vs. “Anna Friel Naked - Tribe Anna Friel Breasts”).
That “Tribe” line is particularly slimy. Anna Friel, an actress known lately for her roles in
Pushing Daisies
and
Land of the Lost
, also appeared in a 1998 film called
The Tribe
, and in it—at least according to sites like
Mr. Skin
that keep track of such things—you can see her breasts. So whoever was writing the title tags at
Esquire
was hoping to anticipate the Web searches of people looking for the naked Friel of 10 years ago, and steer them to the naked Friel in
Esquire
this year.
This is not shocking, of course. We live in a world where
New York
magazine’s site traffic
spiked by 2000 percent
when it ran a gallery of naked pictures of Lindsay Lohan (although that gallery had the accurate, relatively tasteful title tag of “Lindsay Lohan Recreates Last Nude Photo Shoot of Marilyn Monroe”). But it does signal a certain unseemly desperation on the part of
Esquire
‘s editors. They may love these women, but it appears they love the Web traffic more.
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mr. skin
Oct. 13, 2010
Tags:
mark paul gosselaar
mary louise parker
tv
video
weeds
mr. skin
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Sometimes TV is magical, and magical in the most enchanting, uncanniest sense of the word: It makes the impossible possible, bends space and time, and delivers wonders beyond imagination. On Monday night, Weeds turned super-high-powered sorcerer on us and performed the following magic trick: making Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker) and Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) do the extremely nasty in a raunchy, over
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