Mary Blowjob

Mary Blowjob

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arseinclarse USA Fan Algiers Purnt Member since Apr 2007 34399 posts
Mary lost a quarter on a blow job following a DWI arrest Posted by arseinclarse on 8/22/19 at 10:44 am
quote: Mary Kessler Westerlund, 62, of the Village of Tierra Del Sol South, was in a gray Acura at about 10:30 p.m. Monday at The Villages Public Safety Department’s Fire Station 41 at County Road 466 and Morse Boulevard when law enforcement was alerted to the possibility she may have been driving while intoxicated. A Sumter County sheriff’s deputy found that Westerlund had “bloodshot glassy eyes and heavily slurred speech,” according to an arrest report. “I repeatedly attempted to speak with the (Westerlund), however she was so impaired she would just scream at me. While she was screaming I could smell the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from her breath,” the deputy wrote in the report. When asked to step out of her vehicle, she told the deputy she was “not going to jail.” When she was escorted to a patrol car, she repeatedly attempted to pull away. She struggled through field sobriety exercises. When Westerlund was asked to provide a breath sample, she wanted to wager a quarter with the machine’s operator, predicting she would measure .190 blood alcohol content. She provided samples that registered .229 and .210 blood alcohol content. LINK
sand mountainDvalues Arkansas Fan Member since Oct 2018 8718 posts
Posted by sand mountainDvalues on 8/22/19 at 10:46 am to arseinclarse
I’m almost jealous of people like this. Imagine how simple life is for them
777Tiger LSU Fan Member since Mar 2011 56709 posts
Posted by 777Tiger on 8/22/19 at 10:48 am to arseinclarse
quote: “bloodshot glassy eyes and heavily slurred speech quote: strong odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from her breath, straight out of the handbook +2 for thread title, nice
SouthEndzoneTiger LSU Fan Louisiana Member since Mar 2008 9008 posts Online
Posted by SouthEndzoneTiger on 8/22/19 at 10:48 am to arseinclarse
teke184 LSU Fan Zachary, LA Member since Jan 2007 75598 posts
Posted by teke184 on 8/22/19 at 10:48 am to arseinclarse
I thought this was about Mary Landrieu.
tiddlesmcdiddles LSU Fan Lafayette, LA Member since Apr 2013 1719 posts
Posted by tiddlesmcdiddles on 8/22/19 at 10:49 am to arseinclarse
quote: arseinclarse thread title kang
HempHead Alabama Fan Big Sky Country Member since Mar 2011 53805 posts
Posted by HempHead on 8/22/19 at 10:50 am to arseinclarse
quote: he provided samples that registered .229 and .210 blood alcohol content.
Gaston LSU Fan Dirty Coast Member since Aug 2008 35009 posts
Posted by Gaston on 8/22/19 at 10:51 am to arseinclarse
Seems like she won, predicted 0.19...got it up there to 0.21.
teke184 LSU Fan Zachary, LA Member since Jan 2007 75598 posts
Posted by teke184 on 8/22/19 at 10:52 am to Gaston
She had to predict it to within a hundredth to get it right. 0.18 through 0.20 would have won it for her.
caro81 LSU Fan Member since Jul 2017 2448 posts
Posted by caro81 on 8/22/19 at 10:55 am to arseinclarse
WaltTeevens Stanford Fan Santa Barbara, CA Member since Dec 2013 9526 posts
Posted by WaltTeevens on 8/22/19 at 11:00 am to Gaston
quote: Seems like she won, predicted 0.19...got it up there to 0.21. It's like Price is Right, closest bid without going over. But instead of winning a car, you get your car taken away
idlewatcher Houston Astros Fan County Jail Member since Jan 2012 63322 posts
Posted by idlewatcher on 8/22/19 at 11:02 am to arseinclarse
1. Perfect title 2. Pics included 3. Profit 4. Upvote
Meauxjeaux Memphis Fan 98721 posts including my alters Member since Jun 2005 34298 posts
Posted by Meauxjeaux on 8/22/19 at 11:11 am to idlewatcher
wallowinit LSU Fan Louisiana Member since Dec 2006 12872 posts
Posted by wallowinit on 8/22/19 at 11:12 am to arseinclarse
ForeverEllisHugh LSU Fan Baton Rouge Member since Aug 2016 10876 posts
Posted by ForeverEllisHugh on 8/22/19 at 11:21 am to arseinclarse
arseinclarse USA Fan Algiers Purnt Member since Apr 2007 34399 posts
Posted by arseinclarse on 8/22/19 at 11:25 am to wallowinit
quote: Mary Kessler Westerlund, 62, of the Village of Tierra Del Sol South This chick parties. IWHI
0 Kansas Fan Member since Aug 2011 14881 posts
Posted by 0 on 8/22/19 at 11:29 am to arseinclarse
quote: She provided samples that registered .229 and .210 blood alcohol content. Surprised she was conscious.
arseinclarse USA Fan Algiers Purnt Member since Apr 2007 34399 posts
Posted by arseinclarse on 8/22/19 at 11:31 am to 0
quote: Surprised she was conscious. I'm sure there are 1000's of fans in Tiger Stadium on Saturday nights that can easily hit this mark.
Wtodd Missouri Fan Tampa, FL Member since Oct 2013 63212 posts
Posted by Wtodd on 8/22/19 at 11:33 am to arseinclarse
Somewhere she's singing "Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares"
deltaland Mississippi St. Fan Member since Mar 2011 72983 posts
Posted by deltaland on 8/22/19 at 11:34 am to arseinclarse
quote: she wanted to wager a quarter with the machine’s operator, predicting she would measure .190 blood alcohol content At least take a shot and wager that if you guess right then they just drive you home with no charges
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Comment deleted by user · 8 yr. ago
The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
Reddit Inc © 2022. All rights reserved
I watched Good Will Hunting earlier, and I had to stitch my sides back together for this joke.
There's an old couple in bed, Mary and Paddie. They wake up on the morning of their 50th anniversary. Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddie. She's like, "Oh, Jesus, Paddie. You're such a good-looking feller. I love ya. I want to give ya a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I'm goin' to give it to ya. What would you like?"
Paddie's like, "Oh, gee, Mary. That's a very sweet offer. Now, in 50 years, there's one thing that's been missing, and, uh, I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like for it." Mary's like, "All right." She takes her teeth out, puts 'em in the glass. She gives him a blow job. Afterwards, Paddie's like, "yeah, geez, now that's what I've been missin'. That was the most beautiful, earth-shattering thing ever! Beautiful, Mary! I love ya!
Is there anything that I can do for you?" Mary looks up to him and she goes, [Skylar takes a swig of her drink] "Give us a kiss." [her drink spills out of her mouth]
Maybe you have better taste than me. I can live with you not liking it, but I still think it's funny.
i don't get it, could u please explain?

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