Mary Blow Job

Mary Blow Job
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arseinclarse USA Fan Algiers Purnt Member since Apr 2007 34399 posts
Mary lost a quarter on a blow job following a DWI arrest Posted by arseinclarse on 8/22/19 at 10:44 am
quote: Mary Kessler Westerlund, 62, of the Village of Tierra Del Sol South, was in a gray Acura at about 10:30 p.m. Monday at The Villages Public Safety Department’s Fire Station 41 at County Road 466 and Morse Boulevard when law enforcement was alerted to the possibility she may have been driving while intoxicated. A Sumter County sheriff’s deputy found that Westerlund had “bloodshot glassy eyes and heavily slurred speech,” according to an arrest report. “I repeatedly attempted to speak with the (Westerlund), however she was so impaired she would just scream at me. While she was screaming I could smell the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from her breath,” the deputy wrote in the report. When asked to step out of her vehicle, she told the deputy she was “not going to jail.” When she was escorted to a patrol car, she repeatedly attempted to pull away. She struggled through field sobriety exercises. When Westerlund was asked to provide a breath sample, she wanted to wager a quarter with the machine’s operator, predicting she would measure .190 blood alcohol content. She provided samples that registered .229 and .210 blood alcohol content. LINK
sand mountainDvalues Arkansas Fan Member since Oct 2018 8718 posts
Posted by sand mountainDvalues on 8/22/19 at 10:46 am to arseinclarse
I’m almost jealous of people like this. Imagine how simple life is for them
777Tiger LSU Fan Member since Mar 2011 55728 posts
Posted by 777Tiger on 8/22/19 at 10:48 am to arseinclarse
quote: “bloodshot glassy eyes and heavily slurred speech quote: strong odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from her breath, straight out of the handbook +2 for thread title, nice
SouthEndzoneTiger LSU Fan Louisiana Member since Mar 2008 8971 posts
Posted by SouthEndzoneTiger on 8/22/19 at 10:48 am to arseinclarse
teke184 LSU Fan Zachary, LA Member since Jan 2007 74049 posts Online
Posted by teke184 on 8/22/19 at 10:48 am to arseinclarse
I thought this was about Mary Landrieu.
tiddlesmcdiddles LSU Fan Lafayette, LA Member since Apr 2013 1718 posts
Posted by tiddlesmcdiddles on 8/22/19 at 10:49 am to arseinclarse
quote: arseinclarse thread title kang
HempHead Alabama Fan Big Sky Country Member since Mar 2011 53737 posts
Posted by HempHead on 8/22/19 at 10:50 am to arseinclarse
quote: he provided samples that registered .229 and .210 blood alcohol content.
Gaston LSU Fan Dirty Coast Member since Aug 2008 34856 posts Online
Posted by Gaston on 8/22/19 at 10:51 am to arseinclarse
Seems like she won, predicted 0.19...got it up there to 0.21.
teke184 LSU Fan Zachary, LA Member since Jan 2007 74049 posts Online
Posted by teke184 on 8/22/19 at 10:52 am to Gaston
She had to predict it to within a hundredth to get it right. 0.18 through 0.20 would have won it for her.
caro81 LSU Fan Member since Jul 2017 2202 posts
Posted by caro81 on 8/22/19 at 10:55 am to arseinclarse
WaltTeevens Stanford Fan Santa Barbara, CA Member since Dec 2013 9443 posts
Posted by WaltTeevens on 8/22/19 at 11:00 am to Gaston
quote: Seems like she won, predicted 0.19...got it up there to 0.21. It's like Price is Right, closest bid without going over. But instead of winning a car, you get your car taken away
idlewatcher Houston Astros Fan County Jail Member since Jan 2012 62514 posts
Posted by idlewatcher on 8/22/19 at 11:02 am to arseinclarse
1. Perfect title 2. Pics included 3. Profit 4. Upvote
Meauxjeaux Memphis Fan 98721 posts including my alters Member since Jun 2005 34125 posts
Posted by Meauxjeaux on 8/22/19 at 11:11 am to idlewatcher
wallowinit LSU Fan Louisiana Member since Dec 2006 12872 posts
Posted by wallowinit on 8/22/19 at 11:12 am to arseinclarse
ForeverEllisHugh LSU Fan Baton Rouge Member since Aug 2016 10453 posts Online
Posted by ForeverEllisHugh on 8/22/19 at 11:21 am to arseinclarse
arseinclarse USA Fan Algiers Purnt Member since Apr 2007 34399 posts
Posted by arseinclarse on 8/22/19 at 11:25 am to wallowinit
quote: Mary Kessler Westerlund, 62, of the Village of Tierra Del Sol South This chick parties. IWHI
0 Kansas Fan Member since Aug 2011 14807 posts
Posted by 0 on 8/22/19 at 11:29 am to arseinclarse
quote: She provided samples that registered .229 and .210 blood alcohol content. Surprised she was conscious.
arseinclarse USA Fan Algiers Purnt Member since Apr 2007 34399 posts
Posted by arseinclarse on 8/22/19 at 11:31 am to 0
quote: Surprised she was conscious. I'm sure there are 1000's of fans in Tiger Stadium on Saturday nights that can easily hit this mark.
Wtodd Missouri Fan Tampa, FL Member since Oct 2013 63016 posts
Posted by Wtodd on 8/22/19 at 11:33 am to arseinclarse
Somewhere she's singing "Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares"
deltaland Mississippi St. Fan Member since Mar 2011 72364 posts Online
Posted by deltaland on 8/22/19 at 11:34 am to arseinclarse
quote: she wanted to wager a quarter with the machine’s operator, predicting she would measure .190 blood alcohol content At least take a shot and wager that if you guess right then they just drive you home with no charges
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Comment deleted by user · 7 yr. ago
The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
Reddit Inc © 2022. All rights reserved
I watched Good Will Hunting earlier, and I had to stitch my sides back together for this joke.
There's an old couple in bed, Mary and Paddie. They wake up on the morning of their 50th anniversary. Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddie. She's like, "Oh, Jesus, Paddie. You're such a good-looking feller. I love ya. I want to give ya a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I'm goin' to give it to ya. What would you like?"
Paddie's like, "Oh, gee, Mary. That's a very sweet offer. Now, in 50 years, there's one thing that's been missing, and, uh, I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like for it." Mary's like, "All right." She takes her teeth out, puts 'em in the glass. She gives him a blow job. Afterwards, Paddie's like, "yeah, geez, now that's what I've been missin'. That was the most beautiful, earth-shattering thing ever! Beautiful, Mary! I love ya!
Is there anything that I can do for you?" Mary looks up to him and she goes, [Skylar takes a swig of her drink] "Give us a kiss." [her drink spills out of her mouth]
Maybe you have better taste than me. I can live with you not liking it, but I still think it's funny.
i don't get it, could u please explain?

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I have been getting my hair cut by Mary for several years now. She had cut my Dad's for a few years before I had decided to go to her myself, but I'm glad I did. I don't feel like a customer, I feel like I'm going to visit my sister. She has helped me find my "look" on more than one occasion. Mary was the person who shaved my head when I decided to show my support for my mother when chemotherapy for breast cancer took her hair. Later, she encouraged me to stick it out when I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue striving for a particular style, I had never had long hair before and she convinced me to keep growing my hair to reach the length needed to achieve that style. I'm glad she did, and that she has the patience to handle my uncertainty.
Through our conversations while getting haircuts, Mary's become one of the people I trust and talk to about things when I want/need perspective. She has given me encouragement and advice, on more than just my hairstyle, that I believe comes from someone who genuinely cares.
The first time I went to Mary I decided that I only wanted her to do my hair. She listened to me and gave me advice, she is very friendly, if you want someone that will listen to you, and have good conversations with while getting your hair done. Mary is my first choice after so many haircuts of getting messed up and not what I wanted. She's the best.
I have thin, fine hair and I'm very picky on who I let cut my hair. When I moved here finding a stylist was a HUGE concern. I met Mary about 8 years ago and thank God I did! She does a fabulous job and has introduced me to products that make my baby hair appear thicker and healthier! Not only did I find an amazing stylist I also made a great friend! I'm so excited for her to begin this journey of owning her own salon. She deserves it!! ❤❤❤
Growing up as a kid my Aunt always cut my hair and she moved out west so for the last 10 years I've gone from haircutting place to haircutting place trying to find the perfect person, I've just been unsatisfied. I found Mary and she does a phenomenal job and I've been going to her for over 2 years. She is caring and listens to what my hair needs/suggestions are! Anytime I hear someone talking about a haircut I send them her way!

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