Marion's Story Ch. 16
I'm going to start with a big shout out to my dear friend Marina Kelly who helps keep me on the straight and narrow and helps with my writing and of course makes my scribble legible.
So that was it the Lips were officially back together. Wayne was offered and accepted what was a pretty generous golden handshake to leave and by the end of the week he was gone and we were in the studio.
As we settled into the recording process at KGM things began to feel easier and smoother. We spent a couple of days just rehearsing the new songs, going over and over them and I knew it was time for me to broach the subject of lyric changes. I expected Mel to push back, I expected anger and denial and I was braced for it hoping against hope that she would at least be open to the possibilities. During a break in proceedings when we were all chilled out and relaxed I decided to put it out there, "Mel I have been playing these songs up in my room over the last few days and I was wondering whether you would be open to some changes?"
I saw her body tense up and with an angry grimace she sighed, "Changes...Oh fuck here it comes...come on then let's hear it. Fuck Mi, why are my songs never good enough for you?"
Unsettled I tried to get my foot out of my mouth, "Mel you're a great songwriter and there's nothing wrong with them, I really love these songs, I just had a couple of suggestions. If it upsets you I would rather leave them as they are."
She scowled, "Oh fuck off you dip shit, jeez girl, just tell me what's wrong with them?"
"There's nothing wrong with them I just have a couple of small changes that might make them flow easier."
"Flow easier huh..." I saw her face tighten, "Show me, come on smart ass show me."
I started with the easy one first, I picked up the acoustic guitar and started playing it the way I heard it in my head, the way I had recorded it. As I worked through the song including the changes, I saw the contorted twisted expression. Her foot tapped along which was a good sign. Jas and Cindy sat listening and they joined arms singing along swaying back and forth which eased the tension.
When I finished the room was filled with silence until Mel nodded, "Fuck you Mi...I want to hate it but as always you're right that works better." Jas interjected, "Mel they're still your songs babes, but I agree those changes do make it better, and the lyrics are kinda smoother."
Cindy nodded, "Yep I agree, sorry Mel."
The rest of my suggested changes were accepted as well and Mel wasn't as negative as I thought she might be.
I think it had something to do with the fact we all now had an awareness of what we almost lost and there was a new and reinvigorated appreciation for each other.
It was after a long day in the studio and Mel and I were sitting together outside having a beer when she said, "Mi I owe you an apology, and I have wanted to say it but I chickened out. I know I can be a bitch, that time you rewrote my song and I took all the credit...that was wrong. I should have been honest with everybody but I was so pissed at you. You are a way better songwriter than me and I was feeling unappreciated and yeah more than a little jealous."
She refused to hold my eye but added, "It's just that all this shit comes so easy for you, I really struggle to write something even remotely interesting, and you float in and take months of work and in minutes you improved it."
I gave her a hug, "Forget it, I already have. I was only trying to help. I knew you were struggling with the song writing, I should have approached you so we could do it together. Sometimes I can be a bit neurotic or self-obsessive and I don't always take notice of what's happening around me. I find songwriting easier by myself, locked in my room with nothing but the acoustic guitar. I didn't mean to offend you, I should have been more aware, understanding. I promise in future to try and be more inclusive."
With a gentle kiss it was all over and if anything, our relationship was closer than ever.
It was the start of a short but intense period of long days in the studio. Kim who seemed to have become our unofficial groupie come girl Friday spent every day in the studio with us. She ran around after us making drinks, running errands and she loved it. She sat in on all our group chats and even offered us her opinions and advice, some of which was right on the money. Hanging out with us every day meant she and Molly got a little closer, well more than closer, they were building their own friendship which was weird to watch. There was nothing sexual in it, they flirted a bit but nothing to outrageous, Kim flirted with everyone maybe even worse than Molly.
It was hard with Molly around every day especially at the end of the day and Kim and I went back to my apartment and Moll's watched painfully as we walked out arm in arm.
Several times Kim invited Moll's to have dinner with us which was nice but awkward. Having your ex watching us kiss and cuddle was off-putting to say the least. I guess if I'm honest I took some sadistic self-satisfaction in watching her struggle with it. Watching her sad eyes as Kim and I kissed did make me feel a little guilty that I enjoyed it so much, I just wish I could've eliminated the smile. I tried suggesting to Kim that she not be so generous inviting Molly around all the time, but she scolded me for being unkind...I thought I was trying to save her some pain.
Kim on several occasions consoled Molly and scolded me if I unconsciously said something mean.
More than once after Molly had left she chastised me, "Mi you're being a bitch, that girl loves you stop hurting her by saying all that horrid shit."
"If she's hurting that's good, it's payback and we all know that payback can be a bitch."
She looked horrified, disgusted with me, "Mi, stop it, you don't mean that and you know it. Sometimes you say the cruelest things. Molly loves you and I know you still love her, so stop being so hateful."
Kim was one of those incredible people who never said a bad word about anybody, she never nagged or moaned, she was just nice and she hated it when I bitched about Moll's.
Kim seemed oblivious to it and she embraced Molly with total acceptance.
With the album finished and ready for release it was time to hit the road. Molly did a great job organizing the tour, she prepared everything, the bus, accommodation, venues. It highlighted to me how good she had become at her job. She was an incredible manager.
So with the tour about to start Kim and I sort of reached that point in our relationship. It was sad and it hurt because we had grown so close especially since the band reformed and she was in the studio every day. If we weren't going on tour I'm not sure I could have walked away.
She was too nice to me really, she knew as well as me and out last few nights together were passionate wonderful nights. When I asked what she was going to do while we were gone she kissed me lightly, "That depends on you, if you asked I would wait but I don't think that's what you want is it?"
This hurt so much I didn't know what to say, this was my first go at letting go, so I sat there staring at her looking confused and anxious.
She took the lead, "Mi, you need to stop fooling yourself, you aren't fooling the rest of us. You love Molly and I know she loves you we all see it. If you are stupid enough to still be single when you get back and want me I'll be here but really I will be happy if you and Molly get back together."
We kissed and snuggled before she walked out of my life for what felt like the last time, or at least that's how it felt for me. There were tears from both of us, her parting words allayed my fears that I would never see her again, "Tell Molly I love her, and don't cut me out of your life, we can still be friends. It's been fun babe but let's be honest."
That was it, the tour was officially underway. We were crammed into a bus and on the road, and it felt a little like déjà vu, and the memories weren't so great from the last time we were in a tour bus.
We went up and down the west coast before jumping on a plane and heading out East. We toured as many of the big cities as possible in the short time available, there were a couple of TV appearances on the tonight show and the Ellen show. By the time we got back to LA we were all exhausted, it was short but god so intense. Every night we played to full houses.
Unlike the last tour when everything fell apart this time as tired and worn out as we were there was none of the nasty bitchiness. I mean we didn't agree all the time but there were more good times than bad and there was plenty of laughter and joking around. We had sing alongs we wrote some shitty songs but the mood in the bus was good.
Moll's stayed with us for the entire tour and I have to say it was hard being stuck with her every day. We went back to our old habits of snuggling together and of course we talked and some real emotions emerged, things that we had pushed under the surface when we were together.
Now however we found the courage to tackle them. If nothing else we were now friends.
The album release turned out to be better than expected, we hoped it would do all right on the alternative charts but surprisingly it charted well on mainstream channels and was quickly floating in the top ten.
The day we broke into the top ten Gloria organized a quick celebration and somehow, I ended up back at her hotel accompanied by her and Molly and our threesome was repeated. What a night that was, the sex was mind-blowing and ball draining.
Our national tour was announced following our last New York show and we were again going to be locked in a tour bus for nearly two months. I guess this would be the decider for the band. If we could survive that we would probably make it but it was going to be a pressure cooker.
It was on the tour that Molly and I found our way back, a new level if you like. With the girls around it was like old times we sat together on the bus, we talked about all sorts of things, she always curled up beside me with her head on my shoulder or in my lap and it amazed me how right it felt. She was part of me, I missed her so much when we were apart, I couldn't imagine my life without her.
It was so weird having her as my friend, I desperately wanted more but couldn't find words. It was me who pushed her away, how could I invite her back in?
It happened on a long desolate strip of road, it was hot and sticky, Moll's had curled up beside me, her head resting sleepily on my shoulder, my fingers running through her tangled tresses. She turned her head to look up at me and say something but I couldn't help it the forlorn look in her eyes, the quiet pleading...god I just wanted to kiss her and without thinking I leaned down and our lips touched.
Not a fullblown kiss, just the slightest grazing touch, her eyes closed and my hand fitted behind her head and I pulled gently until the gentle grazing touch changed, her mouth opened accepting my offered tongue. My tongue played joyfully with hers, her hand came up resting on my face as our lipstick smudged, her hot mouth became the aggressor and our mouths made that wondrous passionate love until Mel cried out in anguish, "Oh for fuck sake you to get a fucking room!"
We separated and Molly called out, "Jealous are you Mel?"
She snorted derisively, "No but now you got the other two started and it's going to get worse."
That night we were on edge as we tried to get through dinner before the show.
Moll's and I found every opportunity to be together, doorways, behind speaker stacks, anywhere we could be in each other's arms kissing her hot body pressed against mine. We were like lovers again not two people who occasionally have sex, this was love not lust, although there was plenty of that.
As soon as the gig was over Moll's literally dragged me off to her room and like old times our bodies joined, became one, her breath was mine.
Our bodies were connected for the whole night. My cock stayed inside her beautiful welcoming pussy the entire night. After that night we went back to sharing a room. There never had been any doubt about the love, it was all the other stuff that got in the way, now we were going to have to make it work, my heart couldn't strand another breakup. Having shared her with Gloria I had to start reassessing why I felt the way I did about casual sex. Maybe she was right, maybe it was possible?
It was late in the tour and we had certainly grown closer than ever and I had been wondering what would happen when we got back home. I had to accept that I didn't want to lose her again. I wanted her to be part of my life forever, whatever the cost.
Somewhere west of Wallace heading for Spokane Moll's and I were cuddled up together on the bus. She was asleep with her head in my lap. I dug out the engagement ring from my purse where I had been keeping it ever since our breakup. I held it up and turned it over and over in my fingers as I tried to figure out what I was thinking. My mind turned to mush until I got a headache from over thinking. Her hand lay in my lap where she liked it, I lifted her hand slipped the ring on her ring finger. She didn't even notice, didn't even budge. I leaned back in the seat wondering what she would say?
Later when we stopped for lunch at a roadside diner, like always it was a mad rush for the toilets, Jas and Molly were the quickest so Mel, Cindy and I went to the counter to place our orders. Jas and Molly were still in the ladies when I heard an earth shattering screech, the toilet doors flung open wildly smashing against the wall and Molly came bursting out into the diner running like an Olympic sprinter. She jumped into my arms... knocking us both to the ground.
Jas wasn't far behind her and she dived on top of us.
Cindy and Mel didn't understand but they knew something was up and just dived on top.
The small crowd in the diner were treated to a sight they've probably never seen. A group of girls in a pile on the floor. When we broke up and helped each other to stand, Jas and Molly just started bouncing holding us in a group hug. Of course it was impossible not to jump with them, wrapped in the emotion we all bounced together like Maasai warriors, crying and laughing and kissing wildly as Molly explained to Mel and Cindy what all the fuss was about. Molly was in a total euphoria, A level of happiness I have never witnessed in another human being.
Later in bed after making love she cried, tears of real joy explaining, "Babe, I thought I had lost you and it scared me. I know I have acted like a bitch, I can't explain why but I always thought you would come back regardless of how awful I was, but when I saw you with Kim and I saw how gorgeous and sexy she was it hit me for the first time, oh my god I've lost him."
I winced reluctantly, "Yeah, I still feel bad for hurting her, and damn it was hard to leave her behind, she is one cool chick."
Molly giggled, "You can still see her, I don't mind...so long as I know you're coming back I don't care, shit if she was up for it, we could see her together."
I chuckled, "So you expect me to believe if I spent the night with Kim you would be OK with that?"
She nodded slowly, a serious expression creasing her eyes, "Yes, I have tried to explain many times, I see sex and love differently. If you love her it would be different but if it was just two old friends reconnecting, I would be happy, although I am serious about seeing her together."
Shaking my head in disbelief I chuckled, "Jeez Louise you're as bad as her..."
The next few days I spent more time on the phone than ever. Molly called everyone to tell them the news which meant my phone ran hot with calls of celebration, especially mom.
The tour was incredible although as it drew to a close the adrenalin slowed and it was the closing show of the tour in Seattle when Molly in a serious moment asked, "What are we going to do now?" Where are we going to live? Most of the acts I'm looking after are mostly west coast based. It seems weird to think of going back to live in Lawrence?"
"Molly I no longer live in Lawrence and I certainly don't call it home. I don't mind LA but it doesn't feel like home either. I mean it makes sense musically. I was starting to get recognized and offered reasonable gigs."
She laughed uproariously, "Wow babe you can be so naïve sometimes, it is going to be so much better now, the album is charting well, you have three singles in the charts. Gigs are not going to be a problem. Scheduling them will be the problem."
I nodded, "Yeah I suppose you're right. I would be happy to live in LA for a while, we would have to get a better apartment, the one over the studio probably isn't big enough for both of us."
She disagreed, "You know I love that place it reminds me of our old place and it has such a cool vibe. Babe we won't be there much, I am going to be travelling a lot and so are you. I think it would be perfect, those big fluffy cushions on the floor, maybe just fix up the kitchen a little?"
When we talked to the girls they were all having similar conversations, we had spent so much time travelling that home didn't seem that way anymore. Cindy and Jas were both looking at moving out to LA as well and Mel sort of said, "Fuck if you guys are all going to be living out here, then I should probably do the same."
It was Jas who said, "If we are leaving Lawrence, we owe them a big party to say thanks, it all started there."
Mel agreed, it was only Moll's who said, "Shit, you guys are too big for Lawrence...maybe KC?"
I snapped back a little incensed, "The day that we're too big for somewhere is the day I quit. C'mon guys let's not become those fucking corporate sell outs, fuck we could do it for free!"
Molly just about choked when she heard the word free, "Fuck off...Gloria will have a fit if I tell her we're putting on a free show, especially in fucking Lawrence...jeez be serious."
Cindy snipped her off, "Na Mi's right, we need to say thanks, and we need to celebrate with the fans who made all this possible. Shit if they didn't buy our records and come to the shows we would all be working at McDonalds asking if they want fries with that."
Gloria was turning up in Seattle for the last show and we had a big dinner to celebrate our success. When Molly told her what we were planning rather than getting upset she nodded, "You know what...you're right, you girls aren't your average band and your fans are goddamned loyal, but you have to give us a chance to organize and promote it. Plenty of big acts have played free shows, but I think we can do better than just a free show, with a little work we could get some corporate sponsorship, so think of a charity you want to support."
That got the conversation started, although finding a charity we could all agree on might be the hard part. It certainly fired up Gloria and as the night wore on and everybody drifted away Gloria managed to find her way into my arms as we slow danced, her succulent juicy lips slid over mine and we kissed, her tongue playfully interrogating mine. It didn't take long because Molly wasn't going to be left on the sidelines watching.
I felt her boobs press into my back as she nestled in close behind me. Her hot mouth sliding across my flesh as she lowered my dress into a silky puddle on the floor I giggled and reciprocated sliding down her dress and we turned and dragged Molly into the mix stripping her as bare as us, with hands and mouths everywhere and with the city lights twinkling through the huge window, we swayed together naked, three hot bodies welded together, writhing mercilessly.
As my erection grew Gloria parted her legs trapping the throbbing flesh between her legs and she moved them slowly, her thighs caressing the pulsing shaft. Molly sensed my arousal by my awkward movements and her hand drifted down between the cheeks on my ass, "Open your legs beautiful." She pleaded.