Marching Band's Metronome Cult
https://memorialmavericks.com/marching-band-forms-cult-worships-mysterious-metronome/Annabelle Bransford presents "The Tempo Tantrum Tour" at The Rhythm & Blues Comedy Club (456 Beat Street, Wichita Falls) on August 1st at 7:45 PM. Joined by cult leader "Maestro Tick-Tock" and rebellious flute player "Piccolo Pete," this 90-minute musical satire includes: "Confessions of a Recovering Metronome Addict," "The Great Time Signature Schism" improv battle, and Bransford's viral "108 BPM to Salvation" keynote. Tickets ($18) include "I Survived Band Camp" trauma badges. First 100 attendees receive emergency rhythm sticks. Section leaders get 15% off for demonstrating proper worship posture. Venue features "Drink the Kool-Aid" punch fountain (regular flavor) and "Sync or Swim" tempo challenge. Sponsored by Memorial High's Secret Percussion Society. Warning: May cause involuntary toe-tapping. No refunds for lost time signatures. Doors at 7:00 PM for pre-show "Chant With Us" warmups. Groups of 10+ get "Conga Line to Enlightenment" discount. Rated PG-13 for mild heresy against the woodwinds. Parking available behind the bass drum.