Man Puts Head In Vagina
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Man Puts Head In Vagina
TIFU by putting my head in a fishbowl before my daughter was born
TIFU by putting my head in a fishbowl before my daughter was born
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There's not really much back story apart from the fact that my daughter was a breach baby and wouldn't turn. Due to various complications, we had opted for a planned C-section. The whole thing in general was just really bizarre, like, you pick your kid's birthday just like that! Anyway, my wife and I tend to be goofy, fun loving folk that's always up for a laugh. We do a lot of silly things together to make each other laugh, though as with most men, I tend to meander into the dumber territory more often as you will soon hear;
On the day of the birth, just as we were about to leave to the hospital, I picked up this fishbowl style lamp shade (looked something like this ) we hadn't yet put up onto my head because "we're boldly going where neither of us have gone before". I just saw it on my way to the door and didn't really think it through, so I immediately regretted this decision when my giant ears, my nose and hair (got down to my ass length hair that was in a loose bun) ended up blocking my head in this thing and I couldn't get it off. We tried for a bit, and my wife was understandably over it pretty quick because we were going to be late for our baby appointment, so I made the executive decision to not make the situation any more stressful than it should've been (too late) and to just drive to the hospital with this on my head and hope that someone at the hospital might have some idea what I should do.
As you can imagine, the car ride was a real mix bag of emotions for us all.
We arrive, I do the walk of shame into the maternity ward with this bubble on my head holding my wife's hand and there's this older nurse who greeted us and I could see her dinner plate eyes just screaming "what the fuck..."and my wife jokingly said "....Yep! I'm having his baby!" to which literally all the midwives in the maternity ward that could see us walk up the corridor just start howling with laughter and whoever was not visible poked their heads round the corner to see this fucking spectacle. My wife was then ushered into a room where they monitored the baby and her. A nurse (who was this massive, buff tattooed dude, by the way, so imagine that) took me to another one of those inspection rooms and got the thing off with some sort of lube/gel.
Anyway, 4 hours later, we had a healthy baby and I got hazed by some of the older midwives. It was really good fun in the end. Wouldn't recommend, but it definitely beats any other birth story I've heard AND broke the ice with most of the staff.
TL;DR: I got a bowl shaped lamp shade stuck on my head and had to take my wife to the hospital to have our baby whilst I had the bowl removed.
P.S. For those of you wondering how I got it on in the first place, here's some handy dandy instructions in case you want to give it a go; get the bun in first, then move downwards over the ears, the nose and then push down until the ears get into the rim. The bun will smoosh up inside and move downwards a bit and voila! You're a jackass!
Edit: Eish. Glad you guys found this so amusing. I don't know what these awards do, but I've never gotten one on my main before, so thanks for handing them to me. Also, thanks for all being so swell. I honestly was expecting people to just call me an idiot, but I've gotten some really lovely messages from some of you.
“Voila, you’re a jackass” best part
That reminds me of a story. My wife and I were planning to build a large, strawbale house. We posted on the Yahoo! group for strawbale buildings (it was a long time ago) and the at the time leading expert commented on my post saying, "You would have to be a jackass to build that house from straw bales. That's a stupid design, it's too big, and it would never work." We went ahead and built the house and went back and posted triumphantly. He replied saying, "All you did was prove that you're a jackass."
I'm just imagining what it would be like to pull up to a red light, look over, and see you driving with a fishbowl on your head.
I saw this guy pull up to my work wearing a plastic hanger on his head once. He came in, dropped off his dry cleaning, got back into his car, and put the hanger back on before reversing out. He was so matter of fact and casual about it that it seemed like a regular thing. I couldn’t stop picturing pulling up beside him at a red light lol.
There are some weird Freddy got fingered vibes in that scenario, no idea why it made me remember that movie tho
Funny enough, if it happened now it wouldn’t be so weird thanks to Covid. I’ve seen some strange, strange things that people try to use as masks
I would look and think, why Dumb and Dumber is making another sequel
Should have sharpie'd on a visor and stuff like Truman Burbank did.
Have you stopped yet? It’s been 3 hours since typing that
If your elation lasts for more than 4 hours, you should call a doctor.
Is it possible to put man head in to vagina ? - Answers
TIFU by putting my head in a fishbowl before my daughter was born : tifu
Man inserts his head in vagina - a must see!!- www.EroTrix.org | Last.fm
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