Man Inserting Spoon Into A Penis

Man Inserting Spoon Into A Penis




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Man Inserting Spoon Into A Penis
7 Weird Things Guys Do With Their Penises (But Don't Talk About)
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By Bob Alaburda — Written on Jul 24, 2017
Penises are pretty weird ... and that's before we get our hands on them. If Einstein could unravel the very fabric of our universe, solving unforetold mysteries in the process, imagine what he could do with his un-hypothetical penis.
We spend the first 10-ish years of our lives believing the only role of a penis is to pass water through our digestive systems. And upon learning of its ultimate purpose, we spend the rest of our lives seeing what other wonderful tricks it might be hiding.
Socks. Warm apple pie. Girls who will eventually break our hearts. We don't get easy-to-use, practical sex toys like you do, OK?
You think it's easy to fall into a Wikipedia hole and lose half your day? Try searching for penis terminology on Urban Dictionary.
To be honest, I never saw the advantage of anthropomorphizing my member, to bestow sentience and agency upon it. For my own peace of mind, I need to believe I have rule over it. If it actually had a mind of its own, I'd be ruined, considering my penis has a one-track mind.
Helicoptering is when you thrust your hips in a hula-hoop-like fashion to make it spin like the blades of ... you know what? Just Google it with safe search ON.
So ladies, you know how you put your vagina away safely in your pants every morning and it just sits there all day, like a dog waiting for its owner to return home ... drooling occasionally?
Penises emphatically don't do that. It's all fun and games until an erection decides to ram the most sensitive part of your body up against the one article of clothing that contains metal.
Ask any guy, and if he's not a goddamn liar, he'll tell you his penis placement strategy. Does he orient it straight up and back? This leaves "room to grow" and hides it well, but depending on his size or type of pants, his member might escape for a few breaths of fresh air above the button. 
I’m more of a pocket protector, if you will. Directing the penis towards one of your pockets is a bit more constrictive than the method above, but allows for easy concealment and stealthy repositioning simply by placing your hands in your pockets.
Peeing can be fraught with peril. Yes, I just wrote that sentence.
After a dude responds to a code yellow, it's not as simple as dabbing with a tissue like women do. There are always a few drops locked away within the apparatus that inevitably leak out and soil your underwear.
There are a few techniques that men use to purge their machinery of any renegade urine. You're probably familiar with the "shake" method already, so I won't go into it.
The truth is, it's not that effective. So what else do guys do in there (besides graffiti penises on the stall, apparently)?
Some employ toilet paper, like the ladies, but it doesn't completely solve the issue. Others "stroke" it a bit, which can coax a little more out.
One of the most effective techniques, however, is to lift up your testicles and push up on that part right behind it while shaking it off. I'm serious.
It's not weird to want to know your size . The act of measuring in and of itself just seems strange. How often do you otherwise take your pants off to use a home-improvement tool?
Generally, the only time a tape measure is being used on a person's body is at the tailor, but if I whip my penis out there, suddenly I'm "breaking the law" and "disturbing the other customers." Whatever that all means.
A penis makes a natural dish towel rack, or so I'm told.
Bob Alaburda is an editor and writer focused on relationships, science and pop culture. His work has been featured on Fox, Huffington Post and more.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.

7 Weird Things Guys Do With Their Penises (But Don't Talk About)
The content you see here is paid for by the advertiser or content provider whose link you click on, and is recommended to you by Revcontent. As the leading platform for native advertising and content recommendation, Revcontent uses interest based targeting to select content that we think will be of particular interest to you. We encourage you to view your opt out options in Revcontent's Privacy Policy
Want your content to appear on sites like this? Increase Your Engagement Now!
Want to report this publisher's content as misinformation? Submit a Report
By Bob Alaburda — Written on Jul 24, 2017
Penises are pretty weird ... and that's before we get our hands on them. If Einstein could unravel the very fabric of our universe, solving unforetold mysteries in the process, imagine what he could do with his un-hypothetical penis.
We spend the first 10-ish years of our lives believing the only role of a penis is to pass water through our digestive systems. And upon learning of its ultimate purpose, we spend the rest of our lives seeing what other wonderful tricks it might be hiding.
Socks. Warm apple pie. Girls who will eventually break our hearts. We don't get easy-to-use, practical sex toys like you do, OK?
You think it's easy to fall into a Wikipedia hole and lose half your day? Try searching for penis terminology on Urban Dictionary.
To be honest, I never saw the advantage of anthropomorphizing my member, to bestow sentience and agency upon it. For my own peace of mind, I need to believe I have rule over it. If it actually had a mind of its own, I'd be ruined, considering my penis has a one-track mind.
Helicoptering is when you thrust your hips in a hula-hoop-like fashion to make it spin like the blades of ... you know what? Just Google it with safe search ON.
So ladies, you know how you put your vagina away safely in your pants every morning and it just sits there all day, like a dog waiting for its owner to return home ... drooling occasionally?
Penises emphatically don't do that. It's all fun and games until an erection decides to ram the most sensitive part of your body up against the one article of clothing that contains metal.
Ask any guy, and if he's not a goddamn liar, he'll tell you his penis placement strategy. Does he orient it straight up and back? This leaves "room to grow" and hides it well, but depending on his size or type of pants, his member might escape for a few breaths of fresh air above the button. 
I’m more of a pocket protector, if you will. Directing the penis towards one of your pockets is a bit more constrictive than the method above, but allows for easy concealment and stealthy repositioning simply by placing your hands in your pockets.
Peeing can be fraught with peril. Yes, I just wrote that sentence.
After a dude responds to a code yellow, it's not as simple as dabbing with a tissue like women do. There are always a few drops locked away within the apparatus that inevitably leak out and soil your underwear.
There are a few techniques that men use to purge their machinery of any renegade urine. You're probably familiar with the "shake" method already, so I won't go into it.
The truth is, it's not that effective. So what else do guys do in there (besides graffiti penises on the stall, apparently)?
Some employ toilet paper, like the ladies, but it doesn't completely solve the issue. Others "stroke" it a bit, which can coax a little more out.
One of the most effective techniques, however, is to lift up your testicles and push up on that part right behind it while shaking it off. I'm serious.
It's not weird to want to know your size . The act of measuring in and of itself just seems strange. How often do you otherwise take your pants off to use a home-improvement tool?
Generally, the only time a tape measure is being used on a person's body is at the tailor, but if I whip my penis out there, suddenly I'm "breaking the law" and "disturbing the other customers." Whatever that all means.
A penis makes a natural dish towel rack, or so I'm told.
Bob Alaburda is an editor and writer focused on relationships, science and pop culture. His work has been featured on Fox, Huffington Post and more.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.

Home BLOG Things men have shoved up their… holes | campus.sg
Buckyballs are common inserts in China
UPDATED March 2022: We’ve all heard stories from A&E staff about strange items people have stuffed up their rear ends and pee holes. The phenomenon became common between 1993 and 2002: the University of Southern California General Hospital admitted one patient per month who had stuck and lost something up their butt for the first time.
In June 2020, a 30-year old man in China had emergency surgery to remove a rather large dead fish (a fully-grown one could be as long as 40cm) from his anus. His excuse? He “accidentally sat on it”. It’s not clear if the fish was dead or alive prior to entering his intestines, but it was dead when it came out – in fact, it was so stinky the med techs actually retched. Still, it’s probably not as crazy as that drunk guy (also from China) who stuffed 2 pond loaches up his bum back in 2017.
Here are some of the more memorable or mind-blowing insertion stories that have made headlines.
Forget about carrots, cucumbers, and other organic kitchen items – these men have definitely gone where no man has gone before… Prepare to be horrified.
WWII-era munition: You read that right – a man went to the emergency room in the UK after getting a historic munition lodged up his rectum. It was epic because even the police and a bomb squad were called in (you know, in case it was still explosive since it normally belongs in anti-tank guns). According to The Sun newspaper, the guy told doctors he ‘slipped and fell’ on the device, which measured 17x6cm and was “a chunky, pointed lump of lead designed to rip through a tank’s armour.”
Pestle: A 40-year old man came into the ER with an entire pestle shoved up his rectum. He claimed that he slipped when he was preparing Malaysian food. What part of preparing Malaysian food involves putting the pestle anywhere near the bum?
Glass bottle: A 60-year old man in China shoved a 18cm-long glass bottle up his rectum apparently to ‘scratch an itch’. He claimed he shoved it ‘accidentally’ – the bottle’s tip reached the man’s intestines and the doctor who treated him said that you could feel the bottle when touching his belly. And the scary thing? He’s far from the only guy who’s shoved a glass bottle where the sun don’t shine.
Flashlight: A man actually had a flashlight stuck up his butt, which he claimed he accidentally fell on (cough). Apparently, the patient has had a history of ‘falling’ on objects that way.
Mobile phone: A lawyer in Georgia, USA, also claimed to have fallen onto his mobile phone while in the shower, resulting in his phone being shoved up in his colon. Yeah, right.
Lightbulb: There was also a guy who put a lightbulb up his butt – and it actually stayed intact! The doctors had to very carefully remove it. 
Buzz Lightyear: In a bizarre move, a man shoved the entire Buzz Lightyear toy up his rectum, and the x-ray image is a sight to behold.
Deodorant spray can: A 23-year old man in Saudi Arabia had stuffed an aerosol can up his rectum, and had to go to the hospital after complaining of lower abdominal pain.
Shower head: Doctors had no idea why a man shoved an entire shower head up his butt – and left the hose trailing behind him like a tail.
Instant coffee jar: For no apparent reason, a man pierced several pins into the lid of a jar of instant coffee, and then shoved the entire jar up his rectum. You won’t want to see the horrifying x-ray image.
Live eel: Inserting eels into rectums seem to be a folk remedy. In July 2021, a man in Xinghua inserted a 20cm-long eel into his rectum in hopes of relieving constipation – and almost died after the eel entered his abdomen. The eel was still alive when it was removed during operation!
If you think that’s bad, previously a 50-year-old in Guangdong actually stuffed a live 40cm-long eel into his rectum (don’t ask us how) because he thought it would treat his constipation. However, he ended up in the ER with bowel inflammation instead when the eel bit his colon. No surprise there.
Live rat: The patient that truly takes the cake was one who actually decided to stuff a live rat in his anus. He put the rat in a condom to try and suffocate it, and then shoved it into his butt so its breathing would bring him ‘pleasure’… but the rat actually bit off a part of his colon, resulting in him going to the ER looking blue in the face. If the doctors hadn’t found a rat tail sticking out of his ass, he would have died (like the rat in his colon). Ew.
Research has shown that while some men who wind up with objects in their rectums are trying to hurt themselves, the majority of men who practice self-insertion generally do so out of sexual curiosity. As such, repeated self-insertion of colorectal foreign bodies came to be considered a paraphilic disorder – a fetish. This is why men have inserted a wide number of objects in there – including veggies, axe handles, keys, plastic toys, and of course, sex toys.
Another orifice that people tend to stuff things in is the urethra – for some reason, people who stuff things into their pee hole and end up in the A&E are usually teenage boys. But that doesn’t stop grown men from inserting things in there too, like tweezers, chopsticks, a Barbie doll arm, 15 needles, headphone wires, and more. 
It’s actually scary how many adolescent boys have tried to stuff things up their urethra in order to satisfy their sexual curiosity. Here are some cases:
Nylon string: In February 2022, a man in Indonesia managed to stuff 1.8m of a nylon string into his urethra for sexual gratification while watching a pornographic video. Apparently he watches porn everyday, but it was his first time with the nylon string, which doctors had to extract with forceps. At 37, he’s also older than most guys who stuff things into their urethras.
Acupuncture Needle: A 13-year old boy in China actually shoved a 10cm-long acupuncture needle (belonging to his grandmother) into his urethra in an apparent bid to ‘stay awake’. The needle was shoved deep enough that it was close to the bladder, but luckily it was safely surgically removed.
Sewing needle: A 14-year old boy inserted a 9cm long sewing needle so deep in his urethra that the tip wasn’t visible from the hole; it was then ‘uneventfully’ removed with forceps.
Safety pin: A 14-year old boy actually managed to insert an open safety pin (measuring some 7cm extended) blunt edge first into his urethra, which had to be surgically removed.
Wires: A 13-year old boy in Heilongjiang had inserted an end of a USB cable (with the tip cut off, thankfully) into his penis, and managed to get 10cm of it inside him when the cable got knotted up near his bladder . He had to get surgery to remove the cable.
Magnetic ball bearings: A 13-year-old boy in Xian, China inserted 29 magnetic beads (each 5mm in diameter) into his penis, and had to undergo surgery after enduring 3 months of the beads being lodged in his bladder. It’s apparently a common situation in China: a 12-year-old in Wuhan inserted 31 of these beads, a 14-year old nearly died from haemorrhaging after sticking 53 in, and an 11-year old actually had managed to stuff 70 of those inside him! These magnetic beads are sold as toys called Buckyballs, and the boys who’ve stuffed them into their penises admitted doing it out of ‘curiosity’.
At least in China, doctors encounter two or three similar cases per year with boys usually aged between 10 and 15; the inserted items include electric wires, needles, ball bearings, and more.
People are understandably curious when it comes to their own bodies, but doing dangerous deeds like these in private will only thrust them into the spotlight when they need emergency medical help.

By Zachary Zane Published: Dec 10, 2019
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You might see pain, but some guys see pleasure.
We all have our kinks. Some are relatively mild (say, foot fetishes ) whereas some are more extreme (say, blood play ). Sounding—specifically, urethral sounding—definitely falls on the more extreme end of the spectrum.
Urethral sounding involves inserting a sound—a long, thin rod, typically made of surgical steel—into your urethral opening. Yes, we're talking about the pee hole. Sounding isn’t actually exclusive to penis-owners; people with vaginas can experience sounding, however, the technique is different since (obviously) penises and vaginas are shaped differently. Nevertheless, the sounding kink seems to be more popular among penis-owners.
According to Healthline , sounding began as a medical procedure to clear blockages in the urethra. Today, urologists will still “sound” a patient if they have a urethral stricture (a blockage or closing of the urethra).
In a sexual or kink setting, men aren’t getting sounded to open up blockage. They’re getting sounded because it feels good. The urethra actually has a lot of nerve endings that can amount in intense pleasure when stimulated properly. If the sound goes deep enough, it can even stimulate the prostate , which is commonly referred to as the "P-spot" or "male G-spot" . That's when it reportedly feels really good. (In case your male anatomy knowledge needs a refresher, the urethra crosses through the prostate gland on its way to the bladder. This area is called the prostatic urethra .)
There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to sounding. “Most people think that it’s painful, but it’s not—if you know what you’re doing,” explains Cory B ., kink coach and sex educator who’s sounded men about 10 times. “It doesn’t have to be something that’s masochistic or necessarily ‘kinky’ either, and I’ve actually done some really tender sounding scenes.” (In a kink setting, a "scene" is any sexual activity where all parties have discussed prior what they want and don't want to do.)
There are, of course, some risks to sounding , including bacterial infection if the rod isn't properly sterilized. Other dangers including tearing or even puncturing the tissue in your urethra, which can cause permanent damage. (A sound made from shatterproof material is a must. Check out the video resources on kinkacadem
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