Man Girl Sex Stories

Man Girl Sex Stories
Taron Egerton Had Talks to Play MCU's Wolverine
Coach Shares What It Takes to Get 'Extra Shredded'
Could You Be the Next Men's Health 'Ultimate Guy'?
An Easy Way to Tell If Your Hairline Is Receding
13 Types of Headaches and How to Treat Them
Isadora Baum
Isadora Baum is a freelance writer, certified health coach, and author of 5-Minute Energy .

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
15 Kama Sutra Sex Positions for Beginners
Variations of 69 Because We Should All Suck More
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
13 Sex Positions for When Your Partner's on Top
A Therapist Explains Why Narcissists Fake Sickness
What It Means to Be Queer, as Told by LGBTQ+ Folks
How to Get Rid of a Hickey as Fast as Possible
A Doctor on How Long It Takes for Women to Orgasm
My GF Is Incredible but I'm Afraid She'll Cheat
Love Languages Don’t Matter as Much as You Think

Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through links on our site.

"She stuck her finger up my butt and then licked it."
Most people can probably agree sex is pretty great—at least, until something gross and unexpected happens and totally kills the mood. If you look back, you can probably think of at least a few scenarios where something disgusting happened in bed—something that, if you weren't pants-less, would have you running for the door at lightning speed.
For your entertainment, and maybe to make you feel better about your own most recent icky encounter, here are the grossest things that have happened to guys during sex. Prepare yourself—they're pretty cringeworthy.
“To be fair, I know some people have foot fetishes and really like when they get foot massages and stuff—and yeah, I do like a foot massage—but licking and sucking on toes during sex is plain disgusting [to me]. This girl I was with starting inching downward along my body and I got excited thinking she’d make a stop elsewhere, if you know what I mean, and she went all the way to my feet and started sucking on each toe and stared at me with this really intense look. I softened real fast.” —Max
“We were in the middle of sex and he let out a huge, loud, smelly fart and it totally jolted me. I was like, 'Whoa, you really let that one go,' and this was the first time we were having sex also, and he told me that he wanted me to fart too because it ‘turned him on.’ Thank u, next.” —Melissa
“We were kissing and it was pretty good actually, and then he got aggressive with the tongue (which was still OK), but then he stopped, stared at me, and then licked from my chin to my forehead in one swoop of his big tongue. I almost gagged. And he tried to keep licking all over!” —Janet
“Right after we finished having sex, she jumped up and got nail clippers to then clip her toenails in bed right next to me.” —Greg
“He sneezed while we were having sex. He was on top, so [he] was like staring at me after, and had a huge thing of snot hanging from his nose—like, dangling. He kept having sex! I was like, 'Dude, get a tissue, that’s gross,' and he said he was too in the zone to care. Umm, yeah, I cared.” —Jessica
“First off, this was the first time a [girl] ever stuck her finger up my butt, and to be honest, it felt kind of good. I liked it. But then after she did that, she licked her finger. That was so [freaking] disgusting!” —Jack*
“We had anal sex and it was great until she pooped on me. She’s still my girlfriend and I love her and I know she didn’t mean to, but yeah, that was the grossest moment in sex history for me hands down.” —Alex*
“This girl I was dating was pretty adventurous and usually I was into it, but this one time she wanted to bring food into the bedroom, and while I figured it’d be like chocolate or whipped cream or something, she came back with some mayonnaise and rubbed it all over my dick. I like mayo on my sandwiches and those alone.” —Robert*
“One time when I was younger I was having pretty hard sex with this girl and she just all-out lost control of her bladder and peed all over me and my bed.” —Derek*
“One time this girl threw up ... [because] she was drunk. It was gross and I had to clean the mess up afterwards. We did not hookup again.” —Luke
“I was going down on this girl I was dating and she let out a huge fart. It was really gross because my face was like right there and it smelled real bad. She kept apologizing after, but that just made it more awkward.” —Chris*
*Names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.

Internet Tendency
The Store
Books Division
Quarterly Concern
The Believer
Donate

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Another in a Series of Sex Stories that Lose Their Way

“A brilliant and entirely necessary volume, featuring our best writers and thinkers from Tommy Orange to R.O. Kwon. Every bookshelf should have a volume.”
— Gary Shteyngart

“No one writes like Hopler. And no one ever will.”
— Katie Ford

Together again! Four issues of McSweeney's Quarterly , four issues of The Believer magazine, one can't-be-beat price.

“A key barometer of the literary climate.”
— The New York Times

As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.

The First Annual New York University Neal Pollack Chair In American Literature Lecture
Great Films of the Cinematic Canon: Reviewed
I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
We Are an Anti-Abortion Couple, and Don’t Worry, We Will Adopt Your Baby
We Would Do Something, But Then We Wouldn’t Have the Power to Do Something, So We Can’t Do Something
Abortion is Immoral, Except When It Comes to My Mistresses
For Your Crimes You Have Been Sentenced to a Beach Vacation
An Open Invitation to Touch My Pregnant Belly
Wait, You Can Just Make Your Leader “Step Down”?
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website , we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern , Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store . You can support us today by making a donation .

We are committed to our environment . Each year, we purchase carbon offsets commensurate with our estimate of the impact of the printing, shipping, and travel necessary to publish our books and magazines. We are continually working to minimize our impact on the planet by examining every business decision through a lens of sustainability. To support this effort, or to learn more, please write to executive director Amanda Uhle .
Copyright © 1998–2022, McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund. All Rights Reserved.
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today .
A few years ago I spent a month in a cabin in Montana, my dog Curly as my only companion. The cabin was owned by former first daughter Amy Carter, who had grown up awkwardly before our nation’s eyes. It was a very cold winter.
In the mornings I would get up with the sound of woodpeckers at work. There were pines everywhere around the cabin, and beyond the pines, there was a lake to the east. I could sit on my deck in the mornings and see the lake through the trees’ straight trunks.
Amy had told me that once a week, there would be a man who would come to deliver wood. She told me that he was a very striking looking man.
That first Sunday, I retrieved the newspaper and began reading an article about whaling. It seems that Japan has wanted for some time to resume its practice of hunting whales. They want to take 150 Bryde’s whales a year between 2004 and 2008, and 150 minke whales this year. Japan was clearly concerned about the whales. What did they know that we didn’t, I wondered.
It was a very interesting article, and I looked forward to reading it all.
Just then I heard the rhythmic ripping sound of someone walking through the snow. I looked out my clouded window and saw a man. I guessed him to be the man who would bring the wood, and about his appearance Amy seemed to be correct. He was about 6’3", with a long mane of dirty blond hair. His hair was very, very dirty. His jaw was sculpted and he wore a thick mustache. Behind him, he pulled a sled full of wood. Curly woofed quietly, but I shushed him.
The man did not know I was watching him. He began to unload the wood, stacking it neatly against the cabin, and he soon became warm enough to take off his jacket. Now wearing only a tight black tank-top, I noticed his chiseled muscles and his very smooth skin.
To use the word ‘adonis’ in a sentence here would not be inappropriate.
I went back to reading my article about the Japanese pleas for whaling. They had convened an international conference of some sort to determine whether Japan and other pro-whaling nations, such as Norway, should be allowed to kill whales. These pro-whaling nations claimed they could do so in sustainable numbers, while most of the rest in the international community insisted that there was not enough science to know whether or not sustainable whaling was possible.
I looked up and saw the wood-man bare-chested. Apparently, he had been working so hard that his shirt was now a nuisance. His naked chest was strong and smooth, covered in a glistening sheen of perspiration. He was hairless and his skin was colored a light shade of cherry. Cherry is a kind of wood.
I moved my gaze from his torso to his face and realized he was looking at me. First he looked into my eyes, then scanned my body. It was at that moment that I remembered I was nude. I sleep in the nude now that my husband Mark has disappeared with that woman from the laundry room.
Before I could protest, the wood-man was inside the house. He was a huge man and closed the door. It seemed that he wanted something from me, but who could guess what that thing was? He wore only his work boots and very snug denim trousers. They appeared to be getting more snug as the seconds passed. I stood before him, unclothed and unmoving. Because the window was behind me, he could have seen only a silhouette. He stepped toward me and I saw him more clearly.
He was a powerful man, virile, a man who would take what he wanted, without being cruel. I looked up and down his beautiful torso, drinking in his smooth hard chest, his arms like bent pipes, his flat, perfectly defined stomach, the few strands of hair below his navel, disappearing into his jeans, which hid a growth of a very distinct shape. My eyes caressed this part of him lovingly, afraid, but intrigued by its size and apparent power, and then my gaze swung to the right, where, just behind him, I had left my newspaper. I had almost forgotten all about it.
I brushed past the wood-man and took it into my hands and touched it. I refound my place. The problem with whales in general, apparently, is that it’s hard to know precisely how many whales of any species actually exist. Worse, many killings of whales — accidental or not, by fishing vessels or other watercraft — are not reported.
Now the wood-man was behind me, breathing on my back. I heard myself sigh. I guess I really sympathized with the Japanese and the Norwegians, in that there are indeed animals and plants that need to be harvested, lest they take over the world and rule over humans, making us do their bidding.
If minke or Bryde’s whales attempted to lord over me, I would start an underground movement aimed at stopping them. We would wear organic-looking clothing and would live in a bunker built from scrap metal. Amy Carter would be there, as would the daughters of Jesse Jackson. We would breed with the sons of Gil Gerard. Our children would run around, filthy, because we would know that the battle against the whales would take many generations.
Those fucking whales! I would say to the assembled rebels. I would be the leader of the rebels. Yeah, fucking minke fascists! they would yell. We would all raise our harpoons and do some kind of chant I would invent. All the chants would have to go through me to make sure they were good chants. I hate stupid chants.
You ask me how the whales would rule over people if they live in the ocean and do not have thumbs. I shake my head and say, This is how it starts, humans. This is how it starts.
Eleven Boxers Who Failed to Intimidate
McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: Celebrity “Phil” in the Blank
Believer – Quarterly Combo Subscriptions On Sale Now!

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Food & Recipes

Health

Living

Shopping

Plus Icon

Click to expand the Mega Menu

Menu

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Food & Recipes

Health

Living

Shopping

optional screen reader

Health & Wellness

Love & Sex

optional screen reader

Tags

love and sex

relationships and sex

sex secrets

sex stories

More Stories from Health & Wellness

optional screen reader

Legal

Privacy Policy

Terms of Use

AdChoices

Privacy Preferences

optional screen reader

SheKnows Family:

She Media

StyleCaster

Soaps

BlogHer

optional screen reader

Our Sites

Artnews

BGR

Billboard

Deadline

Fairchild Media

Footwear News

Gold Derby

IndieWire

Robb Report

Rolling Stone

SheKnows

She Media

Soaps

Sourcing Journal

Sportico

Spy

StyleCaster

The Hollywood Reporter

TVLine

Variety

Vibe

WWD

Food & Recipes

Expand the sub menu

Special Series

Expand the sub menu

optional screen reader

Contact Us

Advertise

AdChoices

Accessibility

Careers

Privacy Policy

EU Privacy Preferences

Terms of Use

Icon Link

Plus Icon

SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

As much hype and attention as we give it, sex is just another normal function of the human body — which can only mean it has the potential to get pretty darn embarrassing. While everyone has had at least one sex slip-up before, these cringe-worthy-but-totally-true stories might make you feel better about some of your more forgettable sexual encounters.
“One evening after a few drinks, this younger boy and I were lying on the ground with our pants off and making out. We removed our undies and he starts moving his hips back and forth, slowly and then faster and faster,” recalls Laura. “His breath got heavier, and then he collapsed on top of me. Mind you, this whole time I just laid there in fear of saying something that would embarrass him because he was a virgin .”
“He looked up at me sweetly and asked, ‘How w-w-was it for you?’ I replied, ‘What? You were between my thighs.’ He laughed it off, but was super embarrassed. When we finally did get around to actually [doing the deed], it was fantastic.”
It was 1969 and Dana was a senior at UCLA. “My girlfriend and I were looking for a place to make ‘nookie’ since my roommate was in my room studying. It was a few days before classes started and the room next door to her room was still vacant, so we went in there and proceeded,” Dana explains.
“Then, there was a knock on the door. We froze. Another knock, then the sound of a key going into the lock. Room was pitch dark, so it was just sounds, but we heard voices out in the hall.”
“In a panic, I threw a blanket — or something — over my girlfriend, grabbed my pants and tried to pull them on as I headed for the door to keep it from opening. I got to the door with my pants just above my knees when the door opened,” he recalls. “Standing in the hall was this sweet young freshman girl with her parents bringing her to her new dorm room! The looks on their faces were priceless. I asked them to give us a few minutes — I mean, what choice did they have?”
“My wife and I decided to add a little spice to our love life by using some aerosol whipped cream. I got the can from the fridge and brought it to our dark bedroom, sprayed it all over her boobs and started to lick it off. It tasted funny and I thought that her skin chemistry was giving the whipped cream an off taste,” says John. “It kept getting worse, so I turned on the light. It was all green from mold. She started laughing hysterically as did I. It killed the mood for the night though. I had a queasy stomach all night long.”
John, who is ironically a marriage, relationship and sexual coach, shares: “My wife and I went out with some friends for bowling and beer. We both had a little too much to drink.” However, that didn’t stop him from initiating intercourse with his wife that night. “I was happily pumping away with a full bladder. I began to feel the urge to ejaculate (or so I thought in my half drunken stupor). The problem was that I was peeing instead of ejaculating.”
Eliza recounts a story from her first year in college. “I was with my boyfriend in his dorm room. His roommate was away for the weekend (or so we thought). I’m under the covers giving him a blow job and having a good time. I don’t even hear the key turn in the door or anything — all of a sudden I just hear his roommate talking.”
“I just froze. I didn’t know what to do,” Eliza recalls. “He’s just shooting the breeze with my boyfriend, and my boyfriend is trying to just play it off and is holding a conversation like I’m not even there. So I just stayed down there, perfectly still, waiting for him to go. He talks for what seems like is eternity (probably only two minutes). Then I hear him say, ‘See ya later… you too Eliza.’ I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.”
“I am the first to admit, I’m not a pro at givin
Interracial P***
Video Of Nude Girl
Young Shemale Lesbian

Man Girl Sex Stories

Report Page