Man 60 Sex

Man 60 Sex
Reviewed by Melinda Ratini, DO, MS on April 14, 2021
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Sex after 60? That’s a big yes. Many mature couples have better love lives than they did in their more youthful days. There are lots of reasons for this. They have deeper intimacy with partners, fewer distractions, no pregnancy concerns, and just plain more time to get busy. Plus, they have much more know-how and done-that than those young things on TV.
Around midlife -- age 45 or so -- new issues can temporarily dampen your love life, though. Sex hormones take a big dip. For women, menopause brings a plunge in estrogen and androgens. Your vaginal walls get thinner and drier. Men see a nosedive of testosterone and estrogen about the same time. This can make it difficult to get an erection (erectile dysfunction, or ED). Changes in the brain and your blood flow switch things up, too.
The main sexual problems for women tend to be trouble getting to orgasm, lack of desire, and vaginal dryness. Your vagina shortens and narrows with age. It doesn’t moisten itself as easily as before. This can cause pain when you have sex. Lubed condoms, water-based lubricating jelly, and vaginal moisturizers might do the trick. Your doctor might also prescribe vaginal estrogen, which comes as a cream, a pill or tablet, or an insert.
The main age-related sexual problem for men is erectile dysfunction, or ED. Erections don’t come -- and stay -- like they used to. Your penis might not get as hard or big as before. One of four ED drugs might be the answer. But they can have side effects. They can also clash with drugs that contain nitrates. Be wary of herbs and supplements that promise a fast fix. Always talk to your doctor before you try them.
Diabetes can cause ED for men, especially those with type 2. Poor blood sugar control can, over time, damage nerves and blood vessels that supply sex organs. Meds, a penis pump, or even a penile implant can help. Women with this condition can also have less feeling in their genitals. It also causes more vaginal yeast infections, which can irritate this area and make it difficult or unpleasant to have sex. But they’re easily treated.
A heart attack during sex might make for good TV, but it doesn’t often happen in real life. Heart disease does make your arteries narrow and harden, so your blood doesn’t flow as easily. You might find it hard to get aroused or have orgasms. But once it’s treated, your doctor likely will give you the green light. Be sure to tell your doctor about any chest pain, problems breathing, or symptoms that get worse.
Other medical conditions that can affect your sex life include weight gain, arthritis, chronic pain, bladder control problems, dementia, high blood pressure or cholesterol, side effects from meds, depression, and stroke. Also, surgery -- especially in sexual areas -- can affect your self-image and how you feel. Talk with each other about ways you can stay close. Put aside caregiving roles when you can to focus on being a partner.
You might not find it easy to talk about this subject with your doctor. The truth is, they might have trouble talking about it, too. They might be more likely to bring it up when it relates to other conditions. It can help to ask direct questions, such as: Can you recommend a sex counselor, and is this covered by Medicare? Do any of my meds cause sex problems? Would it help me to take estrogen? Is there an alternative to ED drugs?
If your primary doctor isn’t helpful, consider a sex therapist or other trained counselor. They’ll talk with you about your concerns and help come up with ways to meet your needs as a couple. Maybe the answer is more foreplay, or more direct stimulation. If a condition like arthritis makes it hard to enjoy sex, they can suggest new positions that are more comfortable and satisfying for you both.
Common sense and a creative spirit can spark new ways to enjoy sex. For example, if a flat surface doesn’t work for your knees, a new position or special furniture can offer another angle. If you have problems getting aroused, a vibrator can help get blood moving. It’s natural to worry about “getting back into the swing of things” if you’ve been inactive for a while. But just having sex can help you relax and let desire take the lead.
STDs are equal-opportunity diseases: They don’t discriminate by age. If you’re sexually active, you’re at risk for STDs. These include chlamydia, genital warts or herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, syphilis, and trichomoniasis. Also, the number of older people with HIV and AIDS is growing. You should always keep up on your checkups and tests, use condoms, and keep up honest communication with your partner.
With better health, meds, and more ways to meet people, such as online, older adults can enjoy dating -- and sex -- at any age. But you need to stay savvy. Learn your partner’s history before you have sex of any kind. Both of you should get tested first, too. Always use a condom and water-based lubricant, which protects against sores or cuts that can raise your chances of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Couples clash at times about sex drive -- or lack of it. For women, the drop in estrogen, bowel and bladder problems, breast atrophy, or cystitis after sex can dampen desire. Men with ED or other problems might just not want to “go there.” Think about your partner’s point of view. When you talk about your feelings and needs, do it from an “I” standpoint: “I’d enjoy it if we … .” This lets you express yourself without hurting feelings.
Why bother, you ask? Short answer: The benefits of sex are many. Just a few reasons to keep at it (and going solo counts): It boosts your immune system, burns calories, lowers blood pressure, helps you relax, eases pain, keeps your mind sharp, and may lessen the risk of heart attack and prostate cancer. It keeps you and your partner close. It just may help you live longer. Oh, and it makes you happy.
You can be intimate and loving -- and sexy, too -- without intercourse. Lovemaking includes caressing, hugging, kissing, and manual or oral stimulation. Any loving or intimate expression can make your intimate life full. If you don’t have a partner, self-stimulation -- aka masturbation -- is a healthy, satisfying route to reap the many benefits of sex.
National Institute on Aging: “Sexuality in Later Life.”
Journal for Nurse Practitioners : “Sexuality and Quality of Life in Aging: Implications for Practice.”
Mayo Clinic: “Vaginal Atrophy,” “Estrogen (Vaginal Route),” “Erectile Dysfunction & Diabetes: Take Control Today,” “Chronic Pain,” “Sexual Health and Aging: Keep the Passion Alive,” “Sexual Health.”
Health in Aging Foundation: “Sexual Health: Care & Treatment,” “What to Ask: Sexual Health,” “Safe Sex For Seniors.”
American Heart Association: “Sex and Heart Disease.”
BMC Family Practice : “Views of family physicians on heterosexual sexual function in older adults.”
American Society on Aging: “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About (Late-Life) Sex.”
National Institute on Aging: “Sexuality in Later Life.”
Johns Hopkins Medicine: “Erectile Dysfunction.”
Reviews in Obstetrics & Gynecology : “Sexual Function in Elderly Women: A Review of Current Literature.”
Journals of Gerontology: “Frequent Sexual Activity Predicts Specific Cognitive Abilities in Older Adults.”
AARP.org: “8 Reasons Sex Improves Your Health.”
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WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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Key points

After 45 and certainly by 50, erections rise more slowly and become less firm and reliable.
About one-third of men report premature ejaculation throughout their lifespan, meaning that it is men’s most common, persistent sex problem.
Older men take longer to feel turned on, and the transition to slower arousal is disconcerting for many men.

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Our conversations are sprinkled with slips, pauses, lies, and clues to our inner world. Here’s what we reveal when we speak, whether we mean to or not.

Posted February 3, 2013

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Reviewed by Lybi Ma

One thing doesn’t change, older men’s—and women’s—ability to enjoy erotic pleasure. But with age, sex changes. It becomes less like the Fourth of July, and more like Thanksgiving. However, even without exploding fireworks, the erotic flames can still burn hot and bright—if older men adjust to the changes aging brings, and if women involved with older men understand what’s happening to their lovers.
When does a man become sexually “older?” It varies, but usually between 45 and 50. A medically problematic lifestyle, for example, smoking , typically accelerates the changes, and a healthy lifestyle may postpone them, but even men in robust health with exemplary lifestyles experience age-related sexual changes. Depending on the man, the changes may develop gradually or surprisingly suddenly, like within six months.
After 45 and certainly by 50, erections rise more slowly and become less firm and reliable. Sexual fantasies are no longer enough to raise one. Men need fondling, and as they grow older, often increasing amounts of more vigorous stroking. It’s disconcerting to lose firmness and suffer wilting from minor distractions—a phone ringing—but these changes are normal . Unfortunately, many men mistake them for erectile dysfunction (ED) and become anxious that they're nearing the end of the erotic ropes. This makes things worse. Anxiety constricts the arteries that carry blood into the penis, making erections even less likely.
In addition, many medical conditions impair erections, accelerate age-related sexual changes, and contribute to ED: obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and lack of regular exercise.
True ED involves the inability to raise an erection despite extended, vigorous masturbation . If older men can still get an erection solo, they don't have ED. They have normal (annoying, perhaps infuriating) erection changes. “Here’s my advice to older men with balky erections,” says Palo Alto, California, sex therapist Marty Klein, Ph.D., “Relax, breathe deeply, ask for the kind of touch that excites you, and instead of mourning what you’ve lost, focus on the pleasure you can still enjoy.”
Even true ED need not limit sexual pleasure, says retired Maryland anesthesiologist Ken Haslam, M.D., who teaches workshops on sex and aging, “Men don’t need erections to have orgasms. I’m 76, and I’ve had wonderful orgasms without erections.”
2. Premature ejaculation (PE) may return.
PE is usually considered a young man’s problem, the result of over-excitement in young bucks starting to rut. But the landmark University of Chicago “Sex in America” study shows that many men—about one-third—report it throughout the lifespan, meaning that PE is men’s most common, most persistent sex problem. A recent scientifically rigorous survey shows that PE affects 31 percent of men in their fifties, 30 percent in their early sixties, 28 percent from 65 to 70, and 22 percent from 75 to 85.
PE has two major causes, anxiety and penis-centered sex. Anxiety makes the nervous system —including the nerves that trigger ejaculation—more excitable. Young men are often anxious about sex: Will she let me? How do I do this? The reason PE sometimes returns after 50 is that age-related erection changes make men anxious: Will I get hard? Will I stay hard? What the @#$% is happening to me?
Penis-centered sex puts more pressure on the little guy than he can handle. Our sexual culture is preoccupied with intercourse, which leads men of all ages to believe that erotic pleasure is located largely—or only—in the penis. It isn’t. Older men, in fact, all men , should embrace leisurely, playful, whole-body touching and sensual massage, which reduces anxiety and allows arousal to spread all over the body. This takes the pressure off the penis and reduces the risk of PE. It also pleases women, whose most common complaint about men’s lovemaking is that it’s too rushed and too genital focused.
3. Intercourse fades from the sexual menu.
Intercourse is fundamental to reproduction, but after the reproductive years, it becomes problematic. For older men, iffy erections and ED become increasingly prevalent. Meanwhile, older women, develop vaginal dryness and atrophy (thinning and inflammation of the vaginal lining), which can make intercourse uncomfortable or impossible, even with lubricant.
Older couples who remain sexual typically abandon intercourse in favor of what Haslam calls “outercourse,” whole-body massage, oral sex, and playing with sex toys. With creative outercourse, older couples can enjoy very erotic, orgasmic sex without intercourse .
If women involved with older men want to feel "filled up," well-lubricated fingers and dildos are good alternatives.
4. Surprisingly few older men use erection drugs.
The myth is that older men pop erection pills routinely. The truth is that few have even tried them, let alone become regular users. German researchers surveyed 3,124 older men, 40 percent of whom reported erection difficulties. Ninety-six percent could name an erection drug, but only 9 percent had ever tried one. Cornell researchers surveyed 6,291 older men, half of whom complained of erection problems. How many had tried a drug? Just 7 percent. As older lovers take intercourse off the sexual menu, men no longer need erections, so they don’t need erection drugs.
5. Men’s sexual pace becomes more like women’s.
Young men become aroused more quickly than young women, and many young women complain, “He’s all finished before I even feel aroused.” But older men take longer to feel turned on. The transition to slower arousal is disconcerting for many men, but it means that the sexual discord of youth can evolve into new sexual harmony. “Compared with young lovers,” explains Richard Sprott, Ph.D., a developmental psychologist at California State University, East Bay, in Hayward, “older couples are more sexually in sync. Couples who appreciate this can enjoy more fulfilling sex at 65 than they had at 25—even without erections and intercourse.”
Michael Castleman, M.A. , is a San Francisco-based journalist. He has written about sexuality for 36 years.

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As a man, a lot of your identity and who you are is probably rooted in your sexuality and libido. If you take care of yourself, you should be able to live a healthy and happy sex life for many years to come.
Aging plays a factor, but you can mitigate many of the issues that come with age and still hold onto your sexual prowess.
So how long can a man be sexually active? Consider these points of information.
On a basic level, there is no age that a man has to stop having sex. Several people remain sexually active well into their 60s, 70s, and 80s. Today, 40% of people between the ages of 65 years old and 80 years old remain sexually active.
Among those, more than 50% say that sex is a priority when it comes to their overall quality of life.
Age does play a role in the way that your sex life evolves. Many men experience setbacks, such as shorter or less intense orgasm, weaker or no erections, impotence, and a host of other sexual problems that are less than desirable.
Keep an eye on these symptoms and situations as you age. These sorts of issues can potentially cause anxiety and even mental health issues. Some of these issues are physical, while others are rooted in holistic issues.
Get a handle on your sex drive and libido to understand more about why these changes are occurring and what you can do about them.
One of the best things that a man can do is make changes to his lifestyle to counteract sexual problems. Here are a few of the many different lifestyle alterations you can make so that you’re able to still enjoy a healthy and happy sex life:
Exercise is the best thing that you can do to keep your sex life intact. Lots of men with sexual issues have trouble getting adequate blood flow, or they have circulatory issues. When you exercise several times per week, it becomes easier for you to promote this blood flow in your body and build a healthier heart.
Exercising regularly also helps you to boost your testosterone levels. Since this is the primary male sex hormone, it directs your libido, the quality of your sex life, and your ability to perform in the bedroom.
There are several different exercise regimens you can take up.
Choose an exercise regimen that puts you up against resistance so that you can build strength and muscle tone. Going to the gym four to five times per week can revolutionize your sex life. You don’t have to lift incredibly heavy weights well into your old age, but the resistance training alone can help you keep your sex drive and testosterone levels intact.
Never living a sedentary lifestyle. If you sit around all day, you will not only have poor blood circulation, but you will also have more body fat, which is antithetical to testosterone production.
If you can’t get to the gym due to COVID-19 or simple inconvenience, feel free to build a home gym. You can rack up some free weights, buy some kettlebells, install a pull-up bar, or take other measures that let you get in a good pump several times per week.
Staying healthy in this way promotes the regulation of hormones in your body so that your energy levels are consistent and you always feel like
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