Mama Vagina

Mama Vagina
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Every woman has some weird vagina stories . Every. Woman.
It’s just pretty damn difficult to difficult to navigate that thing sometimes. From sex to periods to foreign objects … No woman gets through life without some tales to tell.
So, in the spirit of honesty and sisterhood (but mostly laughs), we thought we’d provide a place for people to tell their weird vagina stories.
We crowd-sourced a bunch of crazy tales from a group of brave women (all anonymous of course), and these were the most… striking ones that came back to us.
“If my friend ever knew I was telling this story she would kill me but… When we were young and she had just got her period , her mum gave her tampons but didn’t really tell her what to do with them. One day at school she kept complaining that it didn’t seem like her tampon was working. She said she could feel it and her undies were still covered in blood.
When I asked her to explain to me how she had put it in I figured out the problem: She had put the tampon up her bum. Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life, poor thing. We joke about it now, but she was so mortified.”
“It was dark one night and my hubby and I were about to do the deed. I reached over to the night stand and grabbed some lube, but a couple of minutes later we knew something wasn’t right. We switched the lights on and I had accidently used toothpaste! It wasn’t that bad – just a bit tingly. And god knows why toothpaste was on the bedside table. That’s just what happens when you have kids I guess.”
“I thought I could smell something weird one day, but I didn’t think anything of it. About an hour later I was running on the treadmill and my daughter walked past and said she could smell something gross as well. I was panicking that it was BO, but she said it smelled like something else. Something ‘fishy’.
Then it dawned on me. I ran to the bathroom and checked – I had a tampon in my vagina… But I hadn’t had my period for over a week. Disgusting, I know. I just completely forgot about it.”
“My sister was showering at my place once, and we have a really small bathroom. The shower is one of those ones that sits over the bath. Anyway, I suppose she wasn’t used to the space, and when she bent over to pick up the shampoo, the sharp edge of the bath tap went up into her vagina. Like, right up in there.
She got a huge cut inside her vagina. She was so petrified at the amount of blood that she called an ambulance. She ended up in the ER with several stitches. She was in so much pain. It was pretty funny though.”
“My boyfriend and I were pretty drunk, and we ended up having an epic fight. He decided at one point that he wanted to leave, and in my completely logical drunk brain, I thought the best way to stop him from drunk-driving would be to hide his car-key up my vajayjay. I eventually fell asleep and only remembered it was there when I woke up in the morning, really uncomfortable…”
“Okay, this is pretty gross. I was with my first boyfriend, and as you do with your first, we were experimenting with all different kinds of sex stuff for the first time. One night, we decided to see what it would be like for him to go down on me. Anyway, after a couple of minutes of him down there, I could feel something really wet. I couldn’t figure out what it was, so I sat up to take a look.
He had puked. He was so grossed out by what he was doing that he had actually puked all over my vagina. About ten years later, I found out he was gay, so that made me feel a little better – vaginas in general turned him off, not just mine!”
Do you have a weird/mortifying vagina story to share? (Go on, everybody does…)
Just goes to show how immature, a lot of women really are.what ever your cotton candy is making you feel like there's no need to be embarrassed about it.she's the equivalent of the universe, no doubt God gave her to you based off the stars and galaxy.you 're going to have those same symptoms that surround planet earth.so appreciate her that way.
Literally a day after reading this and thinking to myself 'I don't have any stories like this!' I unfortunately found myself with one of my own -
While having sex with my boyfriend I noticed blood was suddenly everywhere. Thinking my period had just come incredibly early we both rushed to the shower, and it was only then when I realised I'd actually somehow split my labia open...I've never been in so much pain or seen so much blood in my life, and it still hurts to walk!

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Just when I finally got used to the side boob .
Just when I finally got used to the side hair shave .
Comes another side THING that is beautiful and impossible and horrifying and I cannot look away:
— David Richman (@DRich_what) April 1, 2016
The side vag is my new favourite term. It’s the result of what happens when you succumb to the latest high-crotched fashion trend and let your fleshy front lady area see the light of day. And it’s coming to a beach, a red carpet, or an Instagram shot near you.
In Venice recently, it was side-vag for days:
And, pre-robbery, Kim Kardashian was letting the gentle winds of France caress her front cheeks.
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Sep 17, 2016 at 9:27pm PDT
It's yet another astonishing feat for women in 2016. Up until now we've been concerning ourselves with the brave feats of fighting for equal pay, starting AFL leagues and running for President of the United States.
It's time we tipped our hats to those brave souls involved in side-vaggery.
Firstly, respect for the enormous amount of danger factor involved. Step a millimetre too far, and suddenly your bikini seam has been swallowed up by your lady pocket. And for pete's sake don't even THINK about moving sideways or you'll end up in a Malaysian prison.
Secondly, the intensity and effort it goes to ensure your side vag is display-quality cannot be underestimated. Can you imagine? How is it possible to remain hairless, without the pockmarked scars of ingrown picking, or the ugly red bumps of another $29 triple-x from Essential Beauty?
Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them wear really high-crotch things.
Side vaggers laugh in the face of their waxer when she says "this is going to hurt".
Side vaggers spit their champagne out at 1800's ladies who were considered scandalous when they flashed their ankle.
Side vaggers know where their best side is at.
So this summer, ladies, be armed with the knowledge that your vag doesn't have to lie dormant, meekly covered. Get your little muff wings out. It's what fashion wants you to do. Just remember a couple of things:
And please, don't forget to slip, slop and slap the sides too.
Monique Bowley is the host of Mamamia Out Loud. It's the award-winning weekly podcast with what women are talking about. Subscribe in itunes or listen to the full episode here:
this is just a revision and an attempted resurgence of the high hip french cut that really doesnt look good on anyone unless you're trying to make your hips look gigantic...are dickies going to be next??

Have you ever seen your mom or sister's vagina?
Have you ever seen your mom or sister's vagina?
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why did you feel gross if you saw that? I know they're your relatives and you're not supposed to see them like that. However, depending on the situation it would be weird and awkward at first. Yet, it's just a vagina. All you can do now is say you accidentally saw it and move on.
yeah, saw my sisters, cause kids play naked outside in the backyard or at the beach sometimes. not a big deal in my country. i think i saw a birth video of me or one of my siblings once so yeah... i don´t like remembering it xD
@iskate83 what does it matter how old she is now? xD i saw it back when i was little too. she´s 21 now and when is saw her, she was like 2-4 years old.
yes sometimes my sister and I we take shower together
@iskate83 Yes. Why not? It is a habit that we keep since we were toddlers. Today we took a shower together
@iskate83 I don't understand where is the problem?
@dianadiaper does she have the same ones?
No. I only saw my mom's boobs when her top came off at the beach. Wardrobe malfunction.
No. It was not intentional. Something unexpected happened so my mind shifted its attention to that thing. I just looked away after a second and forgot about it.
Does it matter? She was 39 when this happened.
Sister's. From a distance. Huge black bush. Still a virgin, I'd guess.
Saw my sisters, but she was only a baby as I was changing her diapers. It's just life dude, no big deal.
@Uhhjsshshdh She was a bit of an "oops" and born much later than the rest of us. She was born when I was 13. I babysat her lots. The real funny part was when I was about 15 and had her with me out in public, people actually though she was my daughter!
Sister's - Never. Mom's - I don't remember if i tasted it cuz i was only 0.5 sec old then.
oops.. misread the question. How the fuck do u delete a comment in here?
I've seen my sister's vagina a lot of times and it was great. I even saw her when she was peeing.
that... would be the day i go blind.
@spnsfi LOL I meant the "felt gross" comment. Blue Anon always posts I saw my mom/sister/aunt's ________ and I felt "traumatized" etc, etc, when he REALLY wants to hear other Blue Anons say they see their mom/sister/aunt's _______ all the time.
Update: you back again asking about something that you claim to feel "gross" about"? Still wishing huh bruh?

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