Male Masterbation Stories
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Male Masterbation Stories
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"In sober hindsight, it makes me dry-heave."
1. “I rented a beach house with friends one summer and I woke up at dawn, really, and everyone else was still asleep. So I went out to the beach alone with some iced coffee and just relaxed. I was kind of half asleep and there was no one else out there. I figured, “alright, why not?” and did it under my towel. Then I ran into the ocean to clean up. Afterwards, I noticed some old beachcomber down the beach a ways but I don’t think he saw me.” — William, 28
2. “This is pretty gnarly looking back, but I was uh, in an altered state at Bonnaroo and went into one of the port-a-potties and jerked off. I think everyone thought I was pooping. But I was honestly just too horny to function and it seemed like a great idea at the time. In sober hindsight, it makes me dry-heave.” — Devin, 28
3. “I was on a long road trip . It was late at night and I figured why not? So I did it in my car while driving. It was a very long and lonely road.” — Mike, 29
4 . “I guess outside while camping . It’s weird knowing that like, you’re outside, and even though no one can see you and you’re really in private, your brain is still going, ‘oh no, this is wrong.’” — Lucas, 24
5. “In church the morning of my wedding . I guess in some senses, this is more weird emotionally than anything else, but there was a room with a lock for the groom to hang out in before the wedding and I had a bathroom and I just… I guess I was worried about getting a boner so I did it in there before changing into my tux.” — Brian, 29
6. “I did it at my great-grandma’s wake . It was at my parent’s house and I was young and my hormones were insane and I snuck upstairs and did it, but it’s something I think back on and go, ‘Why did you ever think that was a good idea?’” — Alex, 27
7. “Well, I had gone on a week long camping trip with other people . And you know that feeling where you’re just like, ‘Fuck. I won’t be able to get off for a whole week?’ Like, you get that urge where you really need to do it? And it’s made so much worse because you can’t? I wound up doing it face down in my sleeping back in a tent on day five. My friends don’t know. They can never know.” — Dean, 28
8. “You know, looking back on it, puberty was weird. I can’t believe I ever masturbated in the same house as my parents so often. They had to have known. I would never do that now.” — Marc, 26
1,032 People Were Surveyed on How They Masturbate, Here’s What They Said
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Over the course of history, masturbation has been notoriously badgered by some bad science and ridiculous conjectures. No, those who indulge in self-pleasure won’t experience blurred vision, as a Swiss physician in the mid-1700s warned. And then came Jean-Etienne Dominque Esquirol, the French psychiatrist in the 1800s who linked masturbation to mania, who was also wrong. Masturbating won’t cause you to grow hair on your palms, either. What we do know about masturbation is thin — there are few real studies on masturbation, which is why we’re turning to a We-Vibe survey that polled 1,032 people. The survey by the sensual lifestyle company asked both male and females about their masturbation habits, routines, and desires. Here’s what it found:
Celebrities are a masturbation muse for 1 in 3 men
About one in three men think about celebrities while they’re masturbating. Those who fantasize about celebrities while masturbating named Jennifer Lopez as their chief object of desire. Other leading ladies in fantasies include Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Alba, Emma Watson, Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, and Kate Upton.
One in 5 women fantasize about celebrities while masturbating
About one in five women fantasize about celebrities while masturbating. Among the men who landed the starring roles in their sexual fantasies? Channing Tatum (chalk that one up to the Magic Mike movies), Ryan Gosling, Adam Levine, Johnny Depp, and Justin Timberlake.
Those who earn $100,000–$150,000 are most likely to have masturbation routines
The largest indicator as to whether you’ll follow a masturbation routine? Your income bracket. Eighty percent of respondents who earn $100,000 to $150,000 used a routine, making them the most adept to habits. Only half of the respondents earning $150,000 or more use a routine. Fifty-nine percent of those who earned $50,000 or less used a masturbation routine; 62 percent of those earning $50,000 to $75,000 relied on routine; and 72 percent of those earning between $76,000 and $100,000 had go-to routines.
Most men follow masturbation routines
Men are creatures of masturbation habit. Or, at least more men have habits and rituals surrounding masturbation compared to their female counterparts, the We-Vibe data shows. Overall, 62 percent of respondents follow a routine when they please themselves — viewing or watching adult content, listening to music, looking at photos, or using a vibrator. Of those who follow routines, 69 percent are males and 54 percent are females.
One in five people have masturbated in a car
The bedroom is the most common place for practicing self-love. Eight out of ten respondents in a previous We-Vibe study say they prefer to masturbate in their bedroom. However, 20 percent of men and 19 percent of women admit to having masturbated in their car. In the Midwest, 35 percent of people have masturbated in their cars.
59% of people say masturbation relieves their stress
Masturbation may not replace the gym. Or a hike in nature. But masturbation as a form of stress-busting? Yes, say 59 percent of respondents in a past We-Vibe study who say they felt satisfied after doing so. Seventy-six percent of respondents say they feel relieved after masturbation. Beyond alleviating tension, masturbation’s benefits are many, says Dr. Jenni Skyler, director of The Intimacy Institute in Boulder, Colorado. "Masturbating is also a healthy way for an individual to fill in the gaps between sex with a partner who might have a lower sexual desire," she says. In addition, Skyler says masturbation is a key practice for men who experience premature ejaculation, as it helps with their mind-body connection.
5 percent of men always use sex toys when they masturbate
No surprise here: Women are 16 times more likely than men to report always using a sex toy when masturbating, according to the We-Vibe data. Twenty-two percent of women and 5 percent of men almost always use a sex toy when masturbating. A separate study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that 16.6 percent of men said that they have used a vibrator alone during masturbation.
91% of men believe watching new adult films spices up their routines
Eight out of 10 survey respondents in the We-Vibe study say they’re always on the lookout for new adult content to watch. Ninety-one percent of males believe watching new content is the best way to spice up their routine; only 67% of women agree. Meanwhile, 53 percent of women believe incorporating new toys is the best way to spice up their routine and only 22 percent of men agree.
People masturbate more in the winter
Forget summer self-loving. We-Vibe data has shown that people perform to heat things up with themselves in the winter. Eighty-two percent of respondents in a past study said they tend to masturbate more in the winter than any other time of year.
More people are willing to talk about masturbation thanks to TV scenes
Masturbation has been getting some attention in popular shows like Broad City , Transparent , and The Mindy Project . Thanks to seeing sketches about masturbation on TV, 85 percent of respondents say they were more comfortable than ever before to talk about masturbation, according to a previous We-Vibe survey. Nearly seven out of 10 participants in that study reported they have talked about masturbation with their friends. (But, those in Gen-X, the demographic right before Millennials, are less likely to talk about masturbation, as about 65 percent admit to talking about masturbation).
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Why Straight Men Are Joining Masturbation Clubs
For some men, taking an act that's traditionally solitary and potentially shameful, and instead turning it into a communal bonding experience, can be powerfully freeing.
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When Brandon* was in his early 20s and studying abroad, he went on a trip to Israel with his friends to hike in the Judean caves. At a certain point, they reached a part of the cave that was pitch-black. “It didn't take long for someone to suggest we all jerk off in the darkness,” Brandon, now 35, says. “And so we did.” After they finished, they zipped themselves up and proceeded to continue meandering through the caves, as if nothing happened. They never spoke of it again.
Brandon self-identifies as straight. He had never masturbated in front of another man, let alone a group of other men, before in his life. Yet he says in retrospect, the weirdest thing about the incident was how not-weird it seemed at the time. “It was tame, fratty, kind of lame,” he said.
In truth, Brandon is absolutely right: his experience masturbating in front of other men is far from a singular one. Though there isn’t much data attesting to its exact prevalence, it’s far from uncommon for straight men to have had communal masturbatory experiences during adolescence, whether it’s beneath the alpaca blankets in their parents’ basement or behind the bleachers after gym class or in the bunks at sleepaway camp (or at John Lennon’s house ). There’s even a term for it on Tumblr: “ buddy bating .”
“We know it’s common for teenage boys to masturbate together or to instruct one another in how to do it,” says Dr. Jane Ward, author of the 2015 Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men , which coined the viral term “bro jobs” to describe straight men having sex with each other. Ward cites a 1981 report on male sexuality by sexologist Shere Hite, which suggested that nearly 20 percent of men had engaged in group masturbation during adolescence.
Most men who are willing to speak openly about experiences like this will do so with a certain measure of fondness, even nostalgia. “It's a rite of passage and an essential part of the teenage male bonding ritual,” says Sean*, 31, who used to buddy bate with his friends when he was in his early teens. Sean came of age in the early aughts during the pre-Pornhub, post-Limewire era, when online porn was far less accessible than it is now, so he viewed communal masturbation more as a matter of convenience and less as a display of budding masculinity. But regardless of the impetus behind buddy bating, for some men, the urge to whip it out in front of your bros extends beyond adolescence, even though there are fewer options for them to dabble in that interest in adulthood.
In Seattle, for instance, there’s the Rain City Jacks, a jackoff club for men who wish to, per the website, “jack off openly and safely in a uniquely sex-positive, non-discriminating and mutually respectful community.” (They also have Mardi Gras-themed events, if you’re into that.) Every Sunday and Tuesday, the Rain City Jacks meet at an erotic art gallery in Seattle. The furniture is covered in canvas, and volunteers hand out small plastic cups of lube to guests. (“We try to be environmentally responsible, but people want their own clean lube,” Rain City Jacks founder and organizer Paul Rosenberg told me.) The lights are dimmed slightly and soft music plays while the men gather, either alone or in small clusters, and proceed to jerk off, all the while keeping conversation to a minimum to ensure everyone stays in the moment.
One of the terms I hear a lot is that this is the ultimate form of male bonding.
Most of the attendees at Rain City Jacks are gay men. But Rosenberg says it is not uncommon to see curious straight men at the club’s events. He conducts annual surveys of the group, and he says that while the majority of members are gay, about 10 percent of the Seattle Jacks’ 300 or so members self-identify as heterosexual, with 25 percent identifying as bisexual.
“You can sometimes tell a guy is straight because he’s not interested in kissing another guy,” says Rosenberg. “It’s easy for him to focus on the penis, but not to be physically affectionate.” Nonetheless, he says, they all get something out of it. “The straight men I’ve played with at my club want to evangelize it to other straight guys, because they enjoy it so much and they don’t feel threatened by it,” Rosenberg said. “They may feel no romantic attraction to other men, but we’ve given them a green light to experiment: to touch another man’s penis, to share pleasure with each other. One of the terms I hear a lot is that this is the ultimate form of male bonding.”
Coincidentally, the 10 percent figure Rosenberg reports also squares with data from BateWorld, a website featuring men uploading jackoff clips that has been referred to as “Facebook for masturbators.” According to a Slate piece on the phenomenon, approximately 10 percent of BateWorld’s users self-identify as straight, while 5 percent refused to self-identify either way—a number that pales in comparison to the more than 44,000 gay users of the site (50 percent of its audience; 30 percent identifies as bi, while 5 percent would “rather not say”), but is nonetheless significant. As Slate writer Kyle Mustain put it, “that’s a lot of not-gay dudes with profiles on a website for men who like to masturbate with other men.” And given the strict and arguably regressive codes governing male sexuality, which dictate that any man who so much as looks at another man has to be, if not gay, probably bisexual, it’s surprising that so many ostensibly straight men are interested in watching other guys touch themselves.
That said, for some straight guys who attend jackoff clubs, looking at or touching other penises may almost be beside the point. Ward, the author of Not Gay, says that some men with exhibitionistic tendencies jerk off in front of other men as a way to get validation—say, a compliment about the size of their genitals—that they may not necessarily get from their female partners. She said one man said he frequently attended jackoff clubs because he wanted to masturbate in front of his female partner, but she had no interest in watching him do so. To this man, jackoff clubs weren’t “much different than guys popping the hood and comparing engines. He said this was something he had a strong desire to share with other men.”
According to Dr. Gloria Brame, a sexologist, the psychology makes sense. "People always feel stronger in a group. Doing it with a bunch of other guys may give a shy man permission to be his own wild self and enjoy the pleasure of masturbation," she says. Alternatively, a masturbation club could offer a pressure-free opportunity to get off without the assistance of a partner. "For men who find it easier to come by hand rather than through penetration, it can be very freeing to be in a crowd with others who may be in the same place," says Dr. Brame, also noting the added thrill of exhibitionism the setting provides.
On its surface, the idea that a man might masturbate in front of other men as an assertion of heterosexuality might sound strange. But in truth, Ward points out, there’s not much of a distinction between the communal experience of a jackoff club and, say, going to a strip club and getting a lap dance at the same time as your friend, or having sex in the same room as your male roommate during college. Yes, presumably there are women present in those scenarios, but the result— communal arousal—is the same. While both of these experiences are not uncommon for men in their teens and twenties, they’re staunchly homoerotic nonetheless—and it’s also worth noting that there isn’t quite an equivalent for young women. “The norms of collective arousal for men are very different than they are for women,” Ward says. “It’s just common for men’s sexuality to express itself in a public way.”
For this reason, says Ward, jackoff clubs “may be a way [for straight men] to perhaps relive or reconnect with a kind of adolescent homosociality that men may have experienced.” In other words, much like going to a strip club, it’s a form of male bonding, albeit one that requires some heavy-duty cleanup afterwards. (Dawn, apparently, is the product of choice.)
Whether in ancient Judean caves or erotic art galleries, men have presumably been gathering for the express purpose of group masturbation for millennia (see: ancient Middle Eastern pagans gathering in a field to J.O. as part of a fertility rite, or pretty much any vase designed in ancient Greece). Yet formal jackoff clubs have been around since approximately the early 1980s, when the first known club, the New York Jacks, was founded, says Steve*, the 69-year-old current organizer of the NY Jacks. At first, the members were primarily openly gay men, mostly exhibitionists who “like public sex, but didn’t want to get involved in more hardcore stuff,” says Steve. But that changed a bit when the HIV/AIDS crisis hit in the early 1980s. Becaus
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