Male Equivalent Of Camel Toe
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Male Equivalent Of Camel Toe
What is the male equivalent of camel toe called?
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Athlete Shiva K.P. Keshavan and singer Andy Gibb putting the Mouse Knuckle through its paces ( Getty)
Stefan Dennis proving everybody needs more than good Neighbours ( Shutterstock )
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When it comes to the Moose Knuckle we need to be more mouth and less trousers
As fashion faux pas go, the camel toe is hard to beat.
Khloe Kardashian , Britney Spears , they’ve all been vilified on Twitter and in glossy gossipy magazines for hoisting those stretchy pants or fluffy pink trakkie bottoms up too high to reveal...well, you know what we’re talking about.
Please, don’t make us spell it out.
Worm goes without sex for 18 million years and isn't at all bothered
But did you know there’s a male trouser-related equivalent called Moose Knuckle that’s just as bad, but which, for some reason, elicts nothing like the same level of derision?
And we’re not talking the figure-hugging unitards of professional athletes here - because, when it comes to generating the least wind resistance on the ski slopes or the running track, giving the spectators an eyeful is sort of excused.
No, we’re taking normal, every day pant protrusions - the general social acceptance of which you can blame on rock and roll.
For example, how many of us grew up listening to the music of ACDC and Led Zeppelin and laboriously poring over photos of singers like Bon Scott and Robert Plant looking like they're sporting an armadillo in their underpants?
Drain pipe denim was de rigueur back in those days, as were the images of stone-washed crotches straining to contain more meat and two veg than an Ocado delivery van in Hampstead on a Friday afternoon.
Relax, it's not just you belly buttons do that to
We’ve been conditioned by that Battle of the Bulge, which trickled down from those long haired rockers of the ‘70s into the couture of the ‘80s, like those tight, high waisted jeans, so beloved at the time, which left very little to the imagination.
Want evidence? Then dig out out any photographs of your father from back in the day.
Combined with that mullet haircut, it’s little wonder he didn't have a proper girlfriend until well into his late teens.
So if you're buying your trousers deliberately tight, make sure you don't leave the house before checking if the Moose Knuckle is running loose out of its cage.
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What is the male version of a camel toe?
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I was under the impression that moose knuckle was a fat lady's cameltoe.
Moose knuckle or VPL (visible penis line).
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Don't know WHAT category this horror falls into. Can anyone come up with a collective noun?
UPDATE: thank you Sabrina for the new collective noun
We went a bit crotch crazy around Valentines Day laughing and spluttering about the various indignities that can be suffered upon the hoo-ha area.
But we stayed very quiet on the subject of men and THEIR private areas! Thought we forgot? Never!
So lets have a little look at Moose Knuckle. It's the male equivalent of Camel Toe: here's the definition from Urban Dictionary:
"Usually caused by the seam of tight but thin leg wear such as spandex, the testicles and penis form two bulges on opposite sides of the seam that vaguely resembles the hoof, or "knuckle" of a moose."
Tight trousers or spandex cause Moose knuckle or "visible splitting of the ball bag." So sports men, musicians and those particularly attached to tight trousers will be affected.
Nut huggers, ball crushers, whatever you call them: Russell Brand's got them all in his wardrobe. And let's not even get into his legging habit.
Another unexplained phenomenon usually spotted on athletes is the Mangina. Everything seems squished and squashed under layers of lyrca, jock straps and then cruelly split up the middle to resemble nothing less than a very large and clearly defined ... vagina.
(Said in sleazy voice) "Ladies, come admire ze mangina..."
I just fear for the future of the human race. Don't any of these men want children?
It's horrible when you spot something like this in real life - YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE YOUR EYES OFF IT. It's terrible, it is as though you are simultaneously repelled and yet grotesquely fascinated by the sight of THE BALLS appearing in an everyday setting where they have no business being.
Spotted a good example - tell us about it!
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