Male Edging Stories
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A Guide To Edging & Orgasm Control: Benefits, Techniques & More
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Sarah Fielding is a freelance writer based in New York City covering a range of topics with a focus on mental health, sex, and relationships.
Clinical Sexologist & Psychotherapist
Kristie Overstreet, Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, CST, is a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist with 12 years of clinical experience. She is a licensed counselor in California, Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana. She is also a certified sex therapist, certified addiction professional, and president of the Therapy Department, a private practice in Orange County that provides counseling services throughout the United States.
Edging provides you the ability to explore your sexual pleasure and finish when it's right for you. An orgasm is just one part of how your body gets pleasure; the moments before it can be just as pleasurable, and edging is a way to extend how long that delicious buildup lasts. Understanding what edging is and how to do it for yourself opens up a whole other part of your sexual experience.
What is edging, and what's the point?
Edging is an orgasm control technique where a person gets right up to the point where they're about to orgasm, then stops stimulation, waits, and then starts the buildup all over again. The point of edging is to make sex last longer, extend the feeling of an orgasm, and make the orgasm feel more intense.
"The intention is to repeatedly bring yourself, or your partner, to the brink of an orgasm—continually building the intense sensations so that when you finally decide to climax, you will be rewarded with a mind-blowingly powerful orgasm," relationship therapist Megan Harrison tells mindbodygreen.
Practiced through masturbation, edging also gives you a greater understanding of your body and what it likes. It provides you with increased control over your own pleasure, helping you determine when and how it happens. It also keeps your mind from wandering. "Edging is a good time to practice keeping the mind completely focused on the now. Not only will this concentration and focus help make edging easier, but it will allow a person to fully enjoy the pleasurable feelings," clinical sexologist Sunny Rodgers, ACS, tells mindbodygreen.
For many women, trying to have an orgasm can feel like a lot of anxiety-inducing pressure. A 2014 study of 96 women determined that women who masturbate reach orgasm more often. Edging by yourself provides the opportunity to get to know your own body better and what really sets it off when it comes to pleasure.
Harrison reports that edging and orgasm control often leads to more powerful orgasms and extended sexual pleasure. OMGYes, a website focused on bringing attention to the female orgasm, reports that 66% of women who edge have longer, more intense orgasms.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men last an average of 5.4 minutes before finishing during penetrative sex. In comparison, a 2019 study found that it takes women an average of 13 minutes and 25 seconds to have a real orgasm—almost three times as long. Edging can help partners get in sync. "Edging can improve male stamina, and incorporating the 'stop/start' method in the bedroom can help both partners achieve greater sexual satisfaction and enjoy longer-lasting sessions," says Harrison.
Since edging is all about being aware of your body and what it's feeling, the practice can really help you be more present as a whole. "It can help to build body confidence and allow individuals both within relationships and out to tune into their bodies with a greater sense of self-awareness, incorporating mindful values and approaches," says Harrison.
"For folks with a penis, try the start-stop method of simply stopping stroking or stimulating and then start again after a few seconds," sexologist and sexuality educator Jill McDevitt, M.Ed., Ph.D., tells mindbodygreen. Instead of immediately giving in to your body's desire to orgasm, this teases it and extends your time being pleasured.
Edging is a careful dance, moving as close as you can to climax without having your body fall off the edge to complete pleasure. Harrison recommends attempting edging at a peak stage of arousal, moving your hands or toy away right as you can see that edge forming. Right when you feel yourself on the edge of orgasm, stop doing the work it's taking to get you there.
Depending on your level of sensitivity, it may take longer than a few seconds to delay an orgasm. In this case, McDevitt suggests the squeeze technique in addition to the start-stop method. This involves "stopping stimulation and squeezing the head of the penis for about 30 seconds, and then resuming." It may take some practice to successfully stop this long, so consider building up to 30 seconds as you get used to edging.
This form of edging incorporates Kegel exercises and is designed to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. You still stop right before reaching orgasm but, as you slow or stop stimulation, perform Kegels. The technique is called ballooning, as people with a penis will find their erection deflating and growing during this process.
"For people with vulvas, my suggestion is to use a vibrator with powerful direct clit stimulation and an easy on/off button," says McDevitt. The ability to quickly turn off the toy right before you would orgasm is key when practicing edging.
Right when you're about to orgasm, stop the stimulation and pivot to a gentler form of touch elsewhere on the body. If you're with a partner, they might stop stimulating your clitoris and move to simply caress your breasts or run their fingers along your thighs.
Edging is a common practice in tantric sex, which is all about going slow, being intentional, and tapping into the movement of energy between partners' bodies to enhance the experience of sex. To try tantric edging, inhale slowly as you're about to orgasm. While inhaling, try to visualize slowly pulling the orgasmic energy from your vagina or penis upward toward your head. It can sometimes help to have your partner graze their fingers from your genitals up along the front of your body. Then go back to providing that direct stimulation, repeating this process again and again. In tantra, this is believed to help you experience a full-body orgasm.
The late Psalm Isadora, a well-known tantric sex educator, often suggested practicing edging during tantric yoni massage or tantric lingam massage, both of which involve intentional stimulation both physically and energetically. You can use that energy to your advantage while edging: "During the cool-down periods, place your hand on the heart to help keep the body grounded, connected, and feeling loving energy," she told mbg. This will give you something to concentrate on when you're waiting in between stimulation.
So much of edging is being fully attuned to your body and what it needs to pleasurably delay climax. "Sometimes it can be helpful to focus on each sensation individually as edging ebbs and flows," says Rodgers. "By keeping the mind fully into the act of edging, a person will find it easier to slow down when they feel too close to climax. Being mindfully intentional during edging can greatly enhance the entire experience."
As Rodgers explains, "In the BDSM world, which has a foundation built on power exchange, edging can be given as an assignment to a submissive as an act of control. Restraining orgasm is just one part of BDSM." If you've enjoyed BDSM in the past, edging can easily be used to continue your expression of it.
Edging can take some time to get used to as you figure out what techniques work best for your body. McDevitt recommends trying edging alone first as you try to master it before adding in the variable of someone else and their pleasure. Masturbating on your own can give you the headspace required to have edging work for you.
Take the time to explore your body and see how it reacts. "I suggest practicing edging for about 5 to 10 minutes every other day. The longer a person can delay having an orgasm, the stronger the physical sensations will be when climax is reached," says Rodgers. An excuse to pleasure yourself every day—how will you manage?
The decision to finally let your body climax is a personal one and can change each time you try edging. "Each individual is different, so there is no correct length of time to perform edging before reaching orgasm. It's about balance and control—knowing when to stop and also when to resume sexual play," says Harrison. If you're alone, it really comes down to when you want to, well...come.
With a partner, this decision comes from being deeply aware of how you both are feeling. "If you are trying out edging with your partner, be mindful of your partner's body language and verbal communication for levels of arousal and stimulation," says Harrison. Edging too long after your partner is ready to finish can lead to frustration, so communication is incredibly important here.
Some people experience disappearing orgasms or "half orgasms" after edging, which is when your orgasm actually feels less powerful than usual or like you sort of "missed" it. This is why practice is so important to get edging just right. "Edging requires an individual to have a great level of control over [their] body in order to enjoy it to its full potential," says Harrison. "Stopping too soon, or not building the intensity of orgasm again after stopping can delay the orgasm for too long and lead to 'half orgasms' that can feel underwhelming and frustrating."
If you find this happening more often than not at the beginning, push yourself to wait a little bit longer before stopping stimulation. If you wait too long, the worst thing that happens is you get a good orgasm out of it. With practice, you'll have a better idea of just the right time to edge and how long to do it without losing your orgasm.
There are no proven risks or relevant health considerations for edging. Some people falsely believe edging is related to delayed ejaculation, in which someone with a penis struggles to have an orgasm or ejaculate, but the two are unrelated. Another fear people have is that edging conditions your body to delay orgasms, interfering with times you want to have an orgasm right away. This is another myth; the body adjusts to the individual time and pleasure it feels in any given sexual encounter.
Edging is a great way to explore and enhance your pleasure. Take your time to test out if it's right for you, and enjoy yourself!
Globally renowned Tantra, sex & relationship expert Psalm Isadora will help you take your sex life to the next level of pleasure and intimacy, connecting more deeply with yourself and others on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
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Globally renowned Tantra, sex & relationship expert Psalm Isadora will help you take your sex life to the next level of pleasure and intimacy, connecting more deeply with yourself and others on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
An error occurred. Please try again. If this problem persists, contact support@mindbodygreen.com
Sarah Fielding is a freelance writer based in New York City. Covering a range of topics with a focus on mental health, sex, and relationships, her work has appeared at Healthline, The...
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Edging is a great way to reach crazy intense orgasms (for both men and women). But for men edging originally was invented to prevent premature ejaculation.
Either way, after you're done you'll have more control over your orgasms. Use it as you like. At the end of the article I share 10 honest reader stories of their edging experiences — good and bad.
Edging is a sexual practice that was originally invented for men to prevent premature ejaculation (btw you can use a penis sleeve to numb the sensations too, and get bigger penis overnight…think super thick condom).
It's been often used to reach more intense orgasms for both men and women.
For example, a power play. In BDSM it's called orgasm control.
One partner is tied to the bed, helpless. The other partner does as he pleases and tease her to get close to orgasm, but then denying.
It drives rope bunny crazy… but is also plenty of fun.
You delay the pleasure, tease yourself or your partner…
…and the final time you cross the finish line with such a power that your orgasm is much longer and intense than you even thought possible.
In this article, I'll focus mostly on men's perspective and how they can use edging to last longer.
You'll simply learn to control yourself better and with this power you can do whatever you like.
Because you can overdo it. If you go too close to the edge, for too long, and then use squeeze technique to prevent ejaculation (for men)… you can get yourself blue balls.
I got into troubles like hurting belly when I was edging myself for an hour, going intensely close and then not ejaculation at all.
That was when I was learning to achieve male non-ejaculatory orgasms.
There is also a way to pull your balls down, squeeze the “million dollar spot” between your butthole and balls to stop ejaculation.
But all of these are forceful ways.
If you don't venture close to the edge, you'll have no side effects.
From scientific studies, there been some rumours of increased prostate cancer if you ejaculate very rarely (like less than every 30 days), but again it's not very reliable.
Then taoists have practiced semen retention and not ejaculating at all for extended periods of time. And they have done it for more than 5,000 years, they taught Chinese emperors this stuff and they were confident saving semen actually increased their lives…
And many of them lived over 100 years, so who's right?
Anyway, if you don't go crazy, you'll have no side-effects.
But it's the same as having too long sex, or too rough sex.
Your penis gets tired, pussy gets irritated — is it good for your health?
I guess not. But it all heals and the next day you're all fine and dandy.
Learn how to edge yourself and use it to add more fun during sex and last longer!
To me as a man, it really helped increase my sexual confidence.
After I learned how to control myself better, never again I am worried that I will ejaculate too early.
I am in perfect control of my arousal, I know my limits and I can work within those limits.
So it's being in control vs letting orgasm happen to you.
Which one is better? I'll let you decide.
If you care about pleasure, then you'll be happy to learn that after you edge yourself for 4–5 times getting close to the “point of no return”, stepping back… and getting close again…
The final time when you cum, you'll cum powerfully like a pornstar would in the movies! (you can also use some other ninja tricks to increase cum volume)
If your lady likes you to cum on her, then you can really impress her with your manly huge load of cum.
For fastest progress and best results I really recommend you to create your own self-pleasuring practice sessions.
During sex it's way too hot, and it's 10X harder to control yourself.
Porn also has similar influence over your brain — it simply overstimulates your brain and since it's external, you'll find it hard to be in control of it.
I cannot count the times when I got overconfident, checked some porn and found myself full in sticky stuff and failed edging practice.
Note: If you find it hard to get hard by yourself, just wait for few days. Ideally you would practice edging when you're horny.
So you get comfortable, make sure there are no distractions.
You get yourself hard, close your eyes and really feel the sensations.
Think of your hardness in terms of 1 to 100.
1 is you're completely limp, like you would be ashamed if someone saw how tiny your penis is.
Edging is when you get yourself to 90… and then relax yourself back to 60–70.
You repeat this enough times till you can go to 95… 97… and relax yourself back to 70–80.
Your goal is to learn your own arousal levels and find ways to get yourself under control when you get too close to the edge (or the so called of point of no return).
You'll need to strengthen your kegel muscles if you want more control over your penis. It's like gym for your penis.
Kegel muscles are the ones you use to stop peeing.
The easiest way to strengthen and isolate them is actually when you're taking a leak. Ancient taoists practice it there and used toilet as a trigger for them to practice kegels.
You basically start peeing, then squeeze your kegels for 5 secs, then release.
Repeat it for 4–5x till your bladder is empty. Then as you wash your hands hold your PC muscle for 10 extra seconds.
Do this for a month… and you'll see great results.
The more you do it, the more control you'll have over your penis erection.
You get yourself hard and then you squeeze your kegel muscles for 10–15 seconds and repeat till you're limp.
Additionally you can open your eyes (it helps for some reason) and start the deep breathing.
Your goal is to take your mind… and blood away from your penis and arousal.
By squeezing kegels and your butt you do just that.
By breathing and focusing on your breath (3 counts in, 3 counts out) you move your mind away sexual thoughts.
Do this for a while and you're ready to take your first trial by fire.
Have sex and last as long as you want!!!
Note: It's also fun to not touch penis at all and play with the prostate milking… (which can be upgraded to even hands-free way…if you're into that sort of thing with help of a fucking machine.
Also you can practice using blowjob machines.
They simulate the blowjob, sex process and give a lot more intense sensations than simple masturbation would.
It's a pleasurable way to practice, and it's much closer to actual sensations you might have in sex, so if you want to last longer — it will serve as the next difficult level for your edging mastery:
Here I reviewed the best 9 blowjob machines if you're curious.
Okay, besides toys and exercise, what are the top exercises?
It's pretty similar as practicing by yourself… except the fact that hardness level is way up!
Thankfully there are some great extra additional techniques to help you out.
You have sex as usual, but once you feel getting too close you either completely take your penis out from her or stay shallowly in her.
It's important to have her cooperation however. If she's actively thrusting and keeps going when you're too hot, she'll push you over the edge.
Anyway… you squeeze your penis, butt, legs, jaw and hold it for as long as it takes you to relax.
You can hold your breath too if it helps. When you hold your breath your body goes in mini emergency mode and brings blood back to main organs (away from penis).
This is effective technique, but its biggest flaw is that you're completely stopping. It can murder her arousal… Especially if she was close.
Bonus tip: You can turn this stopping into your advantage by adding some dirty talk..
Say to her — Oh, I don't want you to cum just yet… or Damn, you're making me too hot, you're such a sexy tease…
I've read somewhere that relaxed penis cannot ejaculate.
And I tried it… it's true. Semen gets ejaculated with involuntary penis contractions.
So if there are no contractions — voluntary or involuntary…
You won't ejaculate! As simple as that!
Try it — when fucking her simply relax your penis and make sure it stays that way. You'll find that you'll be able to thrust her for far longer than usual.
Breathing technique is my favorite natural edgin
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