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How to start male chastity as a couple?
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How to start male chastity as a couple? Male Chastity in Relationship, Learning to be in charge as a key holder woman in a relationship
Male Chastity Cage (Cock-Cage) is not just for men, nor is it just for women who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a great deal to gain as well.
If you are the female whose partner has been talking to her about incorporating male chastity into your relationship, but you have reservations, let me put you at ease. First of all, you should relax. I know you may have concerns, issues, and yes. Even a certain amount of fear. Taking total control of your family (Female Led Relationship) can be a daunting task. But that’s not what I am talking about here.
All I am talking about is taking control of one small aspect of your relationship. The sex. By utilizing a chastity device of some kind, you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may or may not be keen on the idea. If he is the one who approached you about male chastity, then half your job is done. On the other hand, if this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and denial to get what you want. Never fear, it will work.
Anyway, the first step is for you both to agree to give male chastity a try. Sit down at your kitchen table to discuss it. Why the kitchen table? Simply because it is a place where you can both feel comfortable and relaxed. It’s neutral ground, so to speak. Talk about the possibilities. The benefits to both of you (we will cover those in an upcoming post). Get used to the idea. Don’t try to push anything on your partner. Let him or her think about it, maybe do some research on their own. Give it a few days to sink in and then sit down and talk again.
The hardest part is being open and honest with your partner. But this is paramount. If you are not totally honest about your feelings, then you are doomed to fail. Don’t be afraid to talk openly. Remember, this is the person who has seen you naked many, many times. This is the person who knows your strengths, your weaknesses, and your vulnerabilities. If you can’t be open and honest with him or her, then what chance does your relationship have, anyway?
If you can both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about it. Start out slow and easy. Don’t plan on more than a month or even a week for a trial period. Decide in advance when and how many orgasms will be permitted for the male during this trial period. Even who can decide when they will be permitted. Remember, this is just a trial period. If you don’t like it, don’t get any enjoyment from it, don’t see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always quit…
Once you have your chastity device, you should engage in a brief test period. You should put it on him. Let him wear it for a day, then check to make sure there are no major problems. That is, make sure it doesn’t pinch him or chaff him anywhere. If it does, try to correct the problem. You may also have to wait a few days for him to heal before testing it again.
To prevent chaffing, use good lubrication on his penis before putting it back on. Most water-based lubes will dry out too quickly. I suggest an oil-based or silicone-based lubricant. (Johnson & Johnson makes a Baby Oil Gel that works well for this.) If chaffing still occurs, you may have to resort to a different chastity device. Once he can get through a day without any problems, try it for twenty-four hours. If all goes well, try three days this time.
Once you have a device that he can comfortably wear day after day, be sure to clean and inspect it (yourself) at least once a week. Taking a shower together is a good way to do this, but by all means, not the only way. The device does not need to be removed for cleaning. Use a liberal amount of soap and water to clean his penis every few days. Remember, he probably can’t see it well enough to clean it himself, so you inspect it for him. This can be part of the teasing process as well.
Don’t let him (or anyone else) tell you that he needs to have an orgasm to prevent any kind of disease. He doesn’t! I checked with more than one doctor on that, so trust me. He can easily go for a week, a month, even six months, or a year without having an orgasm. When the sperm in the body gets old, it will be released inside the body and will be quickly absorbed by the rest of the body. All this happens without him even knowing about it.
Blue-balls is something that is vastly misunderstood as well. Blue-balls are a condition that occurs when a man gets frequently aroused, but does not have an ejaculation for a long period of time. How long depends on the individual and the amount of arousal. What happens is this: He gets aroused and his body (testicles in particular) begins producing sperm (or fluids for feeding and transporting the sperm (in the case of a vasectomy) along the urethra for eventual ejaculation. If that ejaculation does not occur, there is a build-up of these things in the body (particularly the balls). This may cause him to feel a slight aching in the groin (or balls) when he gets his next erection (or tries to). It is harmless. It’s all a part of the game.
After a few weeks of not getting have an orgasm, his body will limit the amount of sperm, etc. that it produces and the effects of blue-balls will go away. (No more groin pain.) So you see, blue-balls is nothing to be concerned about. In fact, you may take some joy in the fact that he gets them. After all, it’s just another reminder that he is yours and is not allowed to cum without your permission…
This is one area where many women have trouble. Learning to be in charge when you have spent your whole life expecting your partner to be in charge is not always easy. Some women are more assertive than others. But that is really all it takes. Whether your guy approached you about this whole chastity thing or it was all your idea, makes no difference here. Being in charge is really not as difficult as some people believe.
If you had a ten-year-old child who didn’t always do what you want him/her to do the first time you told them, what would you do? You would tell them again in a firmer tone of voice. Correct? Well, it is really no different here. If you start out being firm, and by that I mean don’t allow him to talk his way out of anything, then you should have no trouble keeping things under control.
You need to adopt a firm stance on things. If you tell him to vacuum the living room carpet and he starts making excuses why he can’t do it, then get firm. Don’t allow him to weasel his way out of it. The firmer you are, especially when just starting out, the less trouble you will have later on.
You don’t have to yell or scream. You don’t even have to get angry. Stay calm and insist that he obey you. There are numerous ways to convince him to comply with your every wish, but we will get to that later. For now, just try to be firm. Don’t take “No” for an answer.
When starting out, don’t “ask” him to do anything… Tell him! Don’t say, “Please,” say, “Do it!” Chances are, in the beginning, he will be quite willing to complete any task you set before him, especially if he initially approached you about chastity. You can expect him to defy you in one way or another during the first few weeks. He is testing you. He is testing your resolve and your ability to be in charge. Once you realize that that is all he is doing, then you will have no trouble enforcing your rules. If you stand your ground, he will back down. After all, you hold the key to his sexual release. And there is no reason you can’t remind him of that.
And that is all there is to be in charge. Set your mind to it, and never back down…
As I said in my last post, you can expect to have your authority tested, in one way or another. It’s not so much a challenge to your authority as it is a test of your resolve. Be prepared. Don’t back down.
The best way to maintain discipline (in my opinion) is through a good reward program. This doesn’t need to be anything formal (or even written down), but you should keep track so that you can keep a check on y
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