Male Chastity Contract
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Male Chastity Contract
Male Chastity Contracts - Necessary or Not?
MLA Style Citation:
Jameson, Sarah "Male Chastity Contracts - Necessary or Not?."
Male Chastity Contracts - Necessary or Not? .
6 Mar. 2013 EzineArticles.com.
9 Jul. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?Male-Chastity-Contracts---Necessary-or-Not?&id=7535170 >.
APA Style Citation:
Jameson, S. (2013, March 6). Male Chastity Contracts - Necessary or Not? .
Retrieved July 9, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Male-Chastity-Contracts---Necessary-or-Not?&id=7535170
Chicago Style Citation:
Jameson, Sarah "Male Chastity Contracts - Necessary or Not?." Male Chastity Contracts - Necessary or Not?
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?Male-Chastity-Contracts---Necessary-or-Not?&id=7535170
By
Sarah Jameson |
Submitted On March 06, 2013
Male chastity contracts: do you need one? Are they useful? What needs to go in one if you decide to have one?
All typical of the questions I get about them.
The thing is, there's no "right" answer except for the one that works for both of you.
John, my husband, and I had one for a while, but for various reasons it kind of fell by the wayside, because John has given me full control, meaning it can be boiled down to just two words: "Sarah Decides".
But that aside, are male chastity contracts necessary?
As always it depends on the individuals in a given relationship and what they want and expect from it.
If we put their utility to side for one moment, I can see the attraction of one, especially for a man, because it formalises the surrender of his orgasm and in that sense adds another layer of fantasy to the game.
You can laugh (and probably will if the idea of a contract doesn't resonate with you), but it's almost like having a "law" which your wife or girlfriend can "enforce".
Don't underestimate the power of a male chastity contract to thrill and titillate your man.
But they have real utility, too, especially in the early days of the game when perhaps the woman (in particular) is unsure of herself - she has an (almost) objective and mutually agreed set of rules she can use to guide her own responses and actions, which can be helpful particularly when she's having some hard-to-cope-with emotional reactions to her man's seeming discomfort, distress and sexual needs.
I've found, though, that after a while it perhaps becomes unnecessary and even restrictive. You find yourself either having to break or modify the contract (unless you write it so it allows wide discretionary powers in the first place). Again, there's nothing wrong with this and for some people it's going to work fabulously and even add to their pleasure.
My gut feeling, and I stress I tend to try not to think with my gut because it's a notoriously bad thinker in all of us, is generally going to be more commonly used where there's an element of dominance and submission.
It just has that kind of flavour, and I know this isn't always going to be the case because John and I have one, yet we aren't into the BDSM element at all.
And, of course, some people are against the idea of a male chastity contract at all. They feel it's too restrictive and limits the woman's choices - and if she's got control, why is she limited by contract?
Again, I agree. Hence my comments about how ours has largely been forgotten and can be boiled down to those two marvellous words I mentioned: "Sarah Decides".
Ultimately it just depends on what you want and what you feel about it. If you want a male chastity contract, have one. If you're worried about what to put in it and looking for the "right way" to do it, then you're already falling into the trap set for you by the Chastity Taliban.
It's your contract and governs how you and your partner will interact with each other, so you write it any way you like. I do know some people like it to read as if it was written by a lawyer, full of words like heretofore, thereinafter and first party of the second part, and while I think that's a bit silly (I think it's silly in real contracts, too, because there's no reason not to write legal documents in plain English), it's entirely up to you.
What I do caution you against (men and women but especially the men) is just writing one and plonking it down in front of your partner, thinking this is going to count as a "gentle introduction" to your desire for playing this kinky game.
I promise you, it almost certainly isn't going to get you the response you want. For one thing, your male chastity contract will most likely be viewed as a list of demands, and, if this is the first thing they've ever heard about it, they're going to be pretty damned strange ones at that. In law a contract has to meet three criteria before it can be considered legally binding: it has to have full disclosure, consideration, and consent.
So discuss terms and give her (or him) time to think things over.
Oh, what a surprise... we're talking about the need for lots of open, honest and clear communication again.
But you can't neglect the ground rules.
Virtually without exception, every time I get an email from someone who has come up against practical and emotional problems in playing the chastity game with their wives it's because they didn't take the time to set the ground rules properly so each is really not quite sure what the other wants or expects.
I'm guessing if you're going to play this game you want to play it in a way you both enjoy, right?
... then... click the blue link and claim your FREE step-by-step chastity guide and discover the truth about male chastity contracts .
... because right now I'm giving away this free Guide to anyone who visits my website, but this free offer won't last forever.
So if you're serious about strict and uncompromising chastity, be sure to get it as soon as you can.
Your FREE chastity guide is waiting for you here!
Sarah Jameson is the creator and host of the highly regarded Male Chastity Blog, which is rapidly becoming the principal source of sound, factual, and usable information about male chastity on the Internet.
She is a happily married woman and freelance writer who has kept her husband in ultra-strict long-term chastity and orgasm denial for the past 13 years and now shares her experiences to help other couples embrace this deeply satisfying and rewarding but frequently misunderstood lifestyle.
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Living the real life under lock and key
Hi, KH jetzs here, my hub and I are new to male chastity and would like to start off with clear understanding of expections by writing a contract. I know the contract is a very personal but would love to hear from anyone who has used a contract.
I can think of about 50 things I would like to put it in for him to do (or not do!) but I have no idea what needs to be in there on his side. I would like to make it more than just a list he must abide by.
Any ideas are greatly appreciated!
KH jetzs wrote: Hi, KH jetzs here, my hub and I are new to male chastity and would like to start off with clear understanding of expections by writing a contract. I know the contract is a very personal but would love to hear from anyone who has used a contract.
I can think of about 50 things I would like to put it in for him to do (or not do!) but I have no idea what needs to be in there on his side. I would like to make it more than just a list he must abide by.
Any ideas are greatly appreciated!
Wife & KH to cagedmonkey
In Possession of Atone
Boys are Wearing : Jail Bird (cm) Steelheart (a)
Owned Devices : MM Jail Bird (x2), MM Spyder, MM Locking Double Cockring, Steelworxx Revenge
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There are a ton of posts regarding Chastity contracts. Simply use the forum search function with the word "contract" and you can review them one by one to hopefully give you some ideas.
Wishful4
Current Device: DhGate A271
Wishful4, Thanks so much I'll do that!
Right at the top of our contract is a paragraph saying what the aim of the Chastity contract is. Why are you (plural, as in both of you) doing this? Our contract goes on to say that anything that ceases to support the goal needs to either change or be zapped. I mention this only because it helped us to not get sucked into endless scenario definitions, punishments, rewards, timetables, duties etc etc . Wishful4 is right, there are loads of contracts out there if you care to look. We all agree that 95% of them are crap but there is no consensus as to which 5% are not
It's your contract. Own it.
Briefly, I ordered a device because I thought my husband wanted it as an occasional toy. I have now realized he would like to wear one all the time and so I am trying to oblige him with t&d and phsycological teasing. He has been for the most part very nice to me lately (non of the old, "I'm the man, what I say goes", and no more being negative at everything I say).
The device I got is uncomfortable so he ordered a custom one. While we are waiting for it to arrive, I thought it would be fun to have a pre-contract to try things out. So, I made one up and I showed it to him when we went out to dinner over the weekend. He didn't sign it and said he was concerned about keeping everything positive. He tried to explain but his explainations were really vague and I am not sure if it is code for, "I plan to act however I want".
Things were horrible yesterday--I asked him to eat some soup I prepared for the family and he made excuses and things went down hill from there. I told him I thought he might not be truly submissive and may only want to be submissive under "certain" circumstances. He ultimately apologized for everything but this does not seem like the right attitude for someone requesting lock up.
Any of you that have been at this for a while, I would be grateful for your perspective or any advice you can give. Thanks for reading.
Well spotted! Although she has her share of detractors, Sarah Jameson (or Lady Whisky: Share a Jameson. Geddit?) has some wisdom to impart ("Be careful what you wish for" is the title of her somewhat overpriced publication) on what you have come across: control from the bottom up. I did mention in my last post on this thread that you both need to agree why you are doing this MCL (Male Chastity Lifestyle). It would seem that a consensus is yet to be reached. What do you want out of it? What does he want out of it. Where is the common ground? Is there any common ground (I hope so). This whole MCL thing can only work if you are both prepared to put in the effort.
It's not easy wearing a CD. Its not easy being a Key Holder. You can't force him and he can't force you. Work together and the magic will start
Go for it!
LTC,
Thanks so much for your reply. I think you bring up some points that we have missed in all the excitement. We talked about it and he says that his primary goal is to be a better person for me. He says he views CDL as a tool to bring us closer together. I agree but I also think his intentions may not be totally altruistic which is okay too. I still wonder about his submissiveness but he says he is working on his issues and really wants to continue with the CDL.
Since he has decided to adopt the CDL he has turned into a person who no longer purposefully pushes my buttons, he is in a good mood most of the time, and usually willing to do anything I ask. When he has "flashbacks" like the other day it scares the heck out of me because I know I can't go back to the way used to be. After we got married I gave up a lot (I had a PhD and a promising career ahead of me) and basically became his servant. As a stay-at-home mom with a grumpy and uncooperative husband, I was unhappy and didn't know it. I really hope this ends up being a permanent change.
Thanks so much for your advice!
Last edited by KH jetzs on Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
As, when and if your hubby finds a device he can wear 24x7xWhatever and the absence makes his dick grow ever fonder, just remember the contract, don't give in, don't bend the rules and enjoy the resulting magic. You and he will change, your circumstances will change - so make sure that the contract remains a living thing and able to change with you both. It sounds like you have adopted CDL for all the right reasons, I wish you both well.
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Living the real life under lock and key
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by KH jetzs » Thu Jan 16, 2014 12:50 pm
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by Lady M » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:08 pm
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by wishful4 » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:48 pm
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by KH jetzs » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:59 pm
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