Male Accidental Nudity
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Male Accidental Nudity
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We are in a golden age of television, and by that I mean men are doing full-frontal nudity. Since the dawn of time, we have been inundated with erections in pornography—and I’m certain I’m not the one introducing dick pic to your vocabulary—but now penises are taking up pixels on prime-time TV (or whatever prime-time TV has streamed into these days).
Let’s start with a quick televisual tally. A blessed TV genie granted us three penises in the season premiere of Sam Levinson’s Euphoria (two of which were lamps yet to be rubbed). There was a teenage boy stripped naked in a drug dealer’s kitchen to prove he wasn’t wearing a wire; there was a house partyer taking a crap in front of a hot girl (if not the hottest girl in history); and there was an act of shocking mid-fellatio gun violence. Meanwhile in Manhattan, resident prude Charlotte York Goldenblatt was interrupted one morning with her husband. And just like that we saw Harry Goldenblatt’s flaccid penis through the zipper of his suit. (Props to the props department that delivered the man a rather large package.)
Penises on TV used to be rare occurrences, like those flowers that bloom once every 12 years, but we’re living through a bountiful phallic bouquet. These sightings of the lesser-spotted male member—which have extended to movies too—feel like they mean something, but I’m not completely sure what. I just know I haven’t felt this exhilarated since Ben Affleck’s shower in Gone Girl .
I’m trying, of course, not to be a sniggering schoolboy about this. But there’s something puerile about seeing all these male nubbins. It’s hard (cough, cough) to talk about full-frontal male nudity without my eyebrows raising just a little, without a little smirk, without feeling a little and I oop . None of these are very sexy scenes—and maybe that’s the point? Maybe we’re deliberately being not titillated in order to appreciate the art of the moment. We’ve all been to galleries and been grown-ups about the nude marbles. There’s an argument to be made that TV is art and these full-frontal expressions are paint strokes in the frieze of a show. But part of me will always half stifle a laugh when a man is naked on the telly. I don’t find it very arousing; I don’t find it very funny; I don’t find it interestingly scientific or anatomical. But I do find it very noticeable, very unusual.
I wonder too if the idea is to shock us, to embrace a TV taboo in order to push things forward? It’s slightly depressing to think that the final frontier of telly might be an unhard penis, but here we are. Euphoria has always been refreshing in its depiction of teenage life; even the more outrageous story lines don’t feel specifically designed to bait us. But are we seeing numerous penises for shock value? Are TV execs offering up these prawns so that writers like me get in a tiz?
Jokes aside: I feel there is something important about seeing all these flaccid penises—it changes the tone of the scene and the tone of the man, in turn changing the representation of masculinity onscreen. Are these glimpses of male nudity meant to correct the balance of years of storytelling filtered through the male gaze, of women treated as objects? Perhaps we’re seeing an era of gender reciprocity? As full-frontal male nudity inches toward gender parity, it’s hard not to feel slightly euphoric.
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FULL-FRONTAL male nudity made its way onto primetime TV as families watched during their dinner.
Stunned viewers caught an eyeful of a man's penis during the "pre-watershed" Australian programme on Wednesday evening.
Comedian Shaun Micallef's satirical show Mad As Hell aired in its usual 8.30pm slot - but last night's episode featured a little more skin than normal.
Host Micallef was speaking to actor Francis Greenslade - who was in character as a defamation expert - when a man appeared on set completely naked.
He announced that producers wanted to "wind the segment up now" while the pair discussed defamation laws and censorship rules of ABC - Australia's version of the BBC - then loitered briefly in the background before disappearing through a door.
Viewers had a mixed reaction, with some finding it hilarious and others furious due to the show's early broadcast.
One Twitter user said: "Brilliant show tonight, really needed that laugh, yeah and the naked man!"
Another wrote: "Thought we had to get to 9pm before full male nudity?"
And one said: "Full frontal male nudity on #madashell tonight. Disgusting."
Christian organisation Family Voice shared a statement condemning the risqué episode as "morally bankrupt".
It read: "The TV show Shaun Micallef's Mad as Hell surprised viewers last night with a glimpse of male nudity.
"Despite the episode's rating as M, with a warning for coarse language and nudity, it does nothing for families with children watching the show in good faith and expecting a standard of viewing that is acceptable to all mums and dads."
Micallef shared the organisation's comments, saying: "Frankly, I agree with them."
Others responded to the statement, saying: "Why do I get the strong impression they’re just upset because it was male nudity?"
Another said: "We sat down as a family expecting to see some boobs. Y’know, normal family stuff. But instead THERE WAS DONG!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!"
As pointed out by Family Voice, there was a warning ahead of the episode that told audiences to expect nudity and bad language.
And several fans of the show pointed out a penis previously appeared during an episode in 2018 so Wednesday's nudity was nothing new.
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Broadcasts from locker rooms have sometimes revealed some accidental nudity , but ESPN did so in a particularly unusual way Saturday. During their coverage of Notre Dame-Boston College, they discussed how famed coach Frank Leahy coached at both schools (at Boston College from 1939 to 1940, at Notre Dame from 1941 to 1943 and 1946 to 1953) , and then showed off some old photos of Leahy. One, a Getty Images photo from the Notre Dame locker room in 1941, just so happened to have some full-frontal nudity (and not the Monty Python episode pictured above) from a player at the left side of the frame, and ESPN left that photo on the screen for about 15 seconds (0:13 to 0:28 here):
As Deadspin’s Tim Burke notes , it’s a Getty Images wire photo from 1941 with the following caption:
Coach Frank Leahy, (C), shakes hands here with Bernie Crimmins, the star guard of the first Notre Dame team since Rockne’s 1930 team, to finish unbeaten. Leahy is flanked by Fred Evans, (L) and Steve Juzwik, who scored all the points to beat USC with 20-18.
So we don’t know who the exposed player is, but it’s remarkable that this photo has been circulating for 76 years without being cropped, especially as it would be really easy to do so. The nude player at the left is fully beyond the players the photo is actually of. Maybe no one at Getty noticed until now. If they did, though, ESPN should have checked the “Exclude nudity” button in their Getty search.
Andrew Bucholtz is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. He previously worked at Yahoo! Sports Canada and Black Press.
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"Ian Rapoport was once an insider for the NFL, now he is done"
"Once upon a time I saw the best in Dakich. I don’t see it anymore. His best is gone, replaced by the caricature he created and has become, though he’s in the process of erasing it, and himself, one appalling act at a time."
Feherty had been with NBC for seven years after spending decades at CBS Sports.
‘Dickie V’ takes you inside his passion for college basketball, and his health battles.
"You’re telling me that Cishek was trying to hit Ronald Acuña in the backside with a 79mph slider?"
The Mets' Pete Alonso defends his Home Run Derby title as the annual event airs on two ESPN networks tonight
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